Liberal Arts Major
Is the biggest celebrity in the world...
Whoa there! How could a United States presidential candidate possibly be the biggest celebrity in the world? My God, he's not even the biggest celebrity in the United States. George Bush, Kobe Bryant, Vladimir Putin, Al Gore, Michael Phelps, hell, even Chairman Mao's rotting corpse are better contenders for that title. Not that you could ever actually determine who the "biggest" celebrity is.
Of course this exhortation attempts to conflate Obama's fluffy rhetoric with an air of empty one-dimensional pandering - which is, of course, the first thing that pops into someone's head when they hear the word "celebrity", mirite. But it just comes off as a pathetic attempt at being witty.
...ready to help your family?
Does McCain know his voting base, or what? Generally speaking, Republicans are the least likely constituency to want the government to "help their family" after libertarian voters. Is McCain trying to snag those Democrat votes? Maybe, but speaking of pandering... Moreover, Obama has McCain sorely beat in the "help your family" category, as Obama's platform allows him to adopt a Robin Hood mentality whereas McCain can only toe that line, at best. The people who'd be voting for McCain don't want someone who's ready to help their family and the people who might be enticed by this teaser are always going to vote Democrat anyway. Jackpot!
You'd expect the rest of the ad discusses the various ways Obama would fail to help your family in such a way as McCain would be able to surpass him in saviorhood. You'd be wrong.
The real Obama promises...
There's a "real" Obama? As opposed to what? The "celebrity" Obama? The celebrity is called such, presumably, because he panders to the public - "tax them windfall profits, pass out that there syringes" - and always talks about hope and change and whatnot. The real thing then turns around and promises... tax them windfall profits, pass out that there syringes.
Maybe we've misinterpreted the connotation given to the "celebrity" moniker. Or maybe this is just a half-assed attempt at slander.
...higher taxes...
Yes, Obama promises higher taxes for the "rich". You know, the people who aren't going to vote on the basis of a campaign ad aired right before Yang Wei gets the gold. Obama's strategy is in fact to use taxation to redistribute wealth to the middle class and the poor: he may be raising taxes for some people, but millions of others - crucially, the people who are most likely to be influenced by this ad - are actually promised a tax cut and probably some rebates in the future. McCain also promises tax cuts (always something a Republican likes to hear), but it's not like this ad is going to tell you something lame like that!
...more government spending - so fewer jobs.
McCain promises more government spending too. Military adventurism doesn't pay for itself.
That aside, this whopper is irredeemably idiotic. It goes against the entire real-celebrity dichotomy this ad tries so unconvincingly to create. It nullifies the claim that Obama won't help your family unless some viewer out there is stupid enough to think all that new government spending isn't going to come in the form of government handouts under the auspices of social justice. It's a non-sequitur: more government spending means more government jobs. And it's self-defeating when the next batch of drivel touts McCain's alternate energy plans, which include a $300 million dollar taxpayer-funded prize for inventors in the field.
McCain's campaign seems to be banking on the fact that the words "government" and "spending" in succession will send Republican voters into a paroxysm of unthinking fury. I'm sure these Republicans have been perfectly happy, then, with a Republican administration that believes government debt is guaranteed by God and a Republican candidate that thinks missiles build themselves.
Renewable energy to transform our economy...
You lost me. I think this ad was all about how Obama can't do shit to help your families. What's this now about energy? Is this a second campaign ad? When'd the first one end? The inconsistency in this ad seriously undercuts its demagogic effect. We are convinced neither that McCain will help our families where Obama will not - something we don't even want, mind you - nor that McCain has a superior energy policy, because the entire ad was spend babbling about how Obama won't help our family, not how he'll sell us to the Iranians for oil. The one link between these two things, job creation, is shoehorned in there so haphazardly one can't help but ignore it. Not that makes any particular sense.
Also we don't, technically, know what McCain's energy policy is. Is he going to personally come up with some renewable energy? Why does the ad show an offshore oil rig? Are oil rigs renewable energy? Are we going to use nuclear power, wind power, Planeteer power, what? We don't know. But damned if doesn't transform our economy.
...create jobs...
What is the mechanism for creating jobs here? Are we going to use - gasp! - government spending? We don't know. The ad doesn't bother to fill us in. But unless McCain has a magic wand he hasn't been telling us about, his administration could only influence energy development by (1) taxing or regulating oil companies to death, thereby rerouting resources to alternative energy development or (2) providing incentives for alternative energy development a la his $300 million prize purse. The first stands a chance of raising taxes and eliminates jobs before it even begins to create any. The second raises government spending. It seems McCain is just as evil as Obama! But unlike Obama, McCain promises to transform our economy... into something else, presumably something better. How could you say "no" to that?
...and energy independence.
You heard it here first. John McCain's administration will single-handedly produce enough of this renewable energy stuff to replace billions of gallons of oil importation. Our electricity will be renewable. Our aircraft carriers will be renewable. Our cars will be renewable. The entire economy will renew itself every week. And he's going to do all this without increasing government spending or raising taxes. Plus there'll be new jobs. All it takes is one vote.
That's John McCain.
Sign me the fuck up!
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~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Liberal Arts Major
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?