Liberal Arts Major
-...huh, I actually didn't get it the way I was supposed to. EXTREMELY MINOR SEQUENCE BREAKING... or something.
...What? Pretty sure you can get that Djinn the second you enter the town. Don't you just need Grip? ...And you get Grip way before this, right?
-So... Amiti's father was Alex, right? Extremely powerful, mysterious, and Amiti has blue hair... sounds like Alex to me.
You really need to let me know:
(i) Are these kind of questions rhetorical
(ii) If they are not, do you want an answer
(iii) If you do, are there are any cases where you don't want an answer [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
You can, I just couldn't figure it out. I ended up casting grip from a certain place on the stairs, which worked, but then when I had to get back down I was forced to go through the route I was supposed to take in the first place. >_>
You really need to let me know:
(i) Are these kind of questions rhetorical
(ii) If they are not, do you want an answer
(iii) If you do, are there are any cases where you don't want an answer
Plot questions are usually they're rhetorical unless whatever I'm asking about has already been revealed and I'm just forgetting about it/missed it. I tend to preface questions I want answered with something like "okay, somebody really needs tell me..." but sometimes I forget to do that, I admit. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-*shoots a fireball at the Mercury Djinni*
Tyrell approves (+5)
Karis disapproves (-15)
-Hey... that face on the waterfall looks familiar...
Face: IS THAT THE BEST AN ADEPT CAN DO
..........cannot unsee.
-Amiti got the Insight Glass!
What?! He's not even in our party! Screw you, artifact!
-Karis: Well, who knows why it turned the rest of us down.
Face: BECAUSE IT MUST BE USED TO FIGHT THE RETURN OF ALCHEMY AND ALL THE REST OF YOU ARE DESCENDED FROM HISTORY'S GREATEST MONSTERS
-yessssssss amiti joining the party
-Karis: But, Amiti, you will need to do something about your clothes.
"By which I mean, take them off. /swoon"
-i feel like the best part of this game is over now that amiti is wearing a shirt
-oh look, it's team rocket in Rot3K form.
good ahead, get in our way. it's not like you can actually stop us. we're still in "four djinn summons DESTROY EVERYTHING" mode right now.
-Amiti: My friends, now may not be the best time to talk about it.
Listen up, bucko. Here's how we do things in Golden Sun land. First, we talk about it. Then, we talk about it. Next, we talk about it. Then, we talk about it. Following that, we talk about it. Then we talk about it, and then, after all that, maybe there's some action, after which we'll continue talking about it. Also: there are emoticons.
god i love this series
-Matthew got the Ixion Mail!
Yuna: Hey. Hey. I'm gonna need that back.
Yuna: ixion has been expecting a letter
Karis: Screw you!
Yuna: Oh, it is on now.
-asdfghjkl that snake statue startled me
-AHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU SNAKE STATUE
-why does golden sun have the stupid daikatana burrowing zombies?
-Matthew: I THINK I'LL OPEN THAT CHEST BECAUSE I SURE LIKE OPENING CHESTS
Mimic: A-BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA-BOOGA-BOO!
Matthew: Zoinks!
-wait, that was it? THAT was the ouroboros labyrinth that had been hyped up for half the game so far? there wasn't even a boss fight!
-Okay. Forge!Passaj looks really cool.
-Finally got that Mars Djinni outside of Passaj.
Tyrell: "Lock enemy psynergy with low failure rate"? What a useless djinni! How often do our enemies use psynergy that can fail?
Karis: ...
*Karis punches Tyrell in the back of the head*
-Tyrell: We found a man in Ayuthay... who's actually a gemstone... and only Amiti can hear him talk.
"His name is the Great Gazoo."
-Tyrell: So... We need to find an Ice Queen and beat her up?
Karis: ...why are you eyeing me?
Tyrell: No reason.
-I have to say, as stupid as it seems, one of my favorite things about this game is how every djinni has a unique appearance now. I mean, it's just a minor touch, but it makes me care a lot more about finding them all. <_<
-holy crap the ice queen just nuked the hell out of my party
so this is what i've been doing to people
really makes ya think
...
*judgment*
-You know, she was a total bitch and clearly evil, but locking her in a gemstone and all still seems like a pretty terrible thing to do.
-haha, where did harappa even get these stupid neon lights
-Got Brick.
-Got the Flora summon.
-...I get the feeling there's a point of no return coming up if I cross that cloud bridge, and I'm concerned about that stone in the building in Harappa (Insight tells me I need... I assume the psynergy that breaks rocks), so I'm gonna stop here for the night. xp, if you could post another list of djinn/summons I should have by now (assuming this is a PoNR), I'd appreciate it. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
Best Water Adept team member in all 3 games. Although, probably only my 3rd or 4th favorite Dark Dawn party member.
-holy crap the ice queen just nuked the hell out of my party
"lol"
The only credit I can give Ice Queen is that it was one of the very few enemies that managed to down one of my characters. And only because it landed Instant Death on Karis once. And I ended up resetting that time because I wandered into the dungeon before the plot explicitly told me and once I realized I went where the plot intended to send me, I got worried I was sequence breaking and missing dialogue and so reset to do things "in order."
-...I get the feeling there's a point of no return coming up if I cross that cloud bridge, and I'm concerned about that stone in the building in Harappa (Insight tells me I need... I assume the psynergy that breaks rocks), so I'm gonna stop here for the night. xp, if you could post another list of djinn/summons I should have by now (assuming this is a PoNR), I'd appreciate it
The Cloud Bridge is the mini-PoNR I was referencing earlier when I was stressing "Make sure you get Brick as soon as possible."
Nonetheless, what you should have before this is, I think:
5 Venus, Mars, and Jupiter Djinn
7 Mercury Djinn
Summons: Megaera and Flora (plus any you had before, so Zagan)
However, when I say "mini-PoNR" what I mean is, I'm 99% sure everything in this stretch is something you can eventually get back to.
Except Brick.
Brick would be missable if you took the Cloud Bridge without getting it first. Which makes this particularly insidious, because not many people would likely consider this a point of no return because everything else? No problem. Brick? lol. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
The only credit I can give Ice Queen is that it was one of the very few enemies that managed to down one of my characters. And only because it landed Instant Death on Karis once. And I ended up resetting that time because I wandered into the dungeon before the plot explicitly told me and once I realized I went where the plot intended to send me, I got worried I was sequence breaking and missing dialogue and so reset to do things "in order."
Very first turn of the battle, the Ice Queen cast some crazy ice attack that OHKO'd Karis and did like 70% damage to Matthew and Tyrell.
It wasn't a tough fight, but I was not expecting that kind of damage output with no warning or anything. <_<
The Cloud Bridge is the mini-PoNR I was referencing earlier when I was stressing "Make sure you get Brick as soon as possible."
Nonetheless, what you should have before this is, I think:
5 Venus, Mars, and Jupiter Djinn
7 Mercury Djinn
Summons: Megaera and Flora (plus any you had before, so Zagan)
However, when I say "mini-PoNR" what I mean is, I'm 99% sure everything in this stretch is something you can eventually get back to.
Except Brick.
Fantastic, I've got everything I need then. Thanks. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Feature unlocked!
Earned Swimsuit for Ziggy and KOS-MOS.
Feature unlocked!
Earned Geriatric Swimsuit!
KOS-MOS: Well, we're off to a fantastic start.
Ziggy: So it would seem.
[A red-haired man watches a news report about a riot by REALIANs. This is CANAAN, a REALIAN himself. Soon, HELMER contacts him.]
Helmer: This is happening everywhere, and it's only downhill from here.
Canaan: I'm confused, I thought this was like the only thing Realians couldn't do.
Helmer: .......shut up.
Canaan: Okay.
Helmer: Anyway, we need your help.
Canaan: That sounds like... the worst idea.
Helmer: No, Vector's CEO said you're different and won't be affected like the others.
Canaan: ...well, I'm convinced.
[chaos enters.]
chaos: besides, you're the dominus of e.s. ashereus. you're the only one who can do it.
Canaan: Hmm, a Xenosaga 1 character. My odds of survival just went up. But you know, ordinary humans can't ride in my craft.
chaos: not a problem, i've got silver hair, i'm either not human or a really badass one.
Canaan: ...Touche.
chaos: unfortunately, the only thing i can't do is have a voice actor that sounds interested.
Canaan: That seems to be going around. But at least I don't have a much better VA from the first game to get compared to.
Helmer: ......welp, good luck to you both.
[CANAAN and chaos suit up in the E.S. ASHER.]
Canaan: I think it's time to blow this thing... Get everybody and your stuff together... Okay - three, two, one, let's jam.
Xenosaga
Episode II
Jenseits von Gut und Bose (Beyond Good and Evil)
[The E.S. ASHER takes off towards OLD MILTIA.]
chaos: all right, we're just gonna get down there and rescue the u.r.t.v. forces, nice and simple, nobody gets hurt.
Canaan: U.R.T.V.s? They thought that was a good idea again, even after Albedo went nuts?
chaos: actually, i'm starting to think this is a prequel.
Canaan: ...and there go my odds of surviving this. Ah well, let's get to work.
[As the ASHER makes its descent, it is attacked by unmanned enemy craft.]
Canaan: So, you remembered to pack the ammo for our energy rifle, right?
chaos: what? no, i thought you were going to.
Canaan: No, I said I was going to pack our lunches.
chaos: but... but i packed our lunches.
Canaan: ......So we've got twice as many lunches as necessary but no ammo reserves. That's just great. What are we going to do now?
chaos: don't you take that tone with me.
Canaan: What tone, quiet indifference? It's the only one my voice actor can do. I can't help it.
chaos: ...
Canaan: ...
chaos: okay, look, i'm sorry, it must have just slipped my mind.
Canaan: No, I probably forgot to tell you. I'm sorry for getting indifferent at you.
chaos: it's okay, you didn't mean it.
Canaan: We need to work together to get out of this mess.
chaos: i'll handle it. plot powers, activate!
[chaos pulls off a fantastic shot that drops five enemies at once.]
chaos: there's no end to these guys!
[They destroy a few more enemies.]
chaos: that's the end of them. let's land and go the rest of the way from the ground.
[They do.]
Canaan: So... U.R.T.V.s, huh?
chaos: mm-hm. yep. that's right. correct. affirmative. sure thing. exactly. yes. you got it. bingo.
Canaan: Get on with it.
chaos: the u.r.t.v.s are blah blah blah fight U-TIC.
Canaan: blah blah blah sever the link between U-TIC and the Zohars.
chaos: technobabble technobabble
Canaan: Fascinating.
chaos: yes, but not in summary form.
Canaan: Yeah let's hurry this up. "Oh no, failed projects. Oh no, the U.R.T.V.s can't be lost or it would be disastrous." Now let's get moving again.
[They move forward and enter into combat with enemy AMWS.]
chaos: should we explain the combat?
The player: Looks the same as the first game to me.
chaos: right now, yeah, but...
The player: But what?
chaos: it'll be different enough pretty soon.
The player: Sounds great.
chaos: prepare to be disappointed.
[A familiar song begins to play.]
chaos: that's... the song of nephilim.
Canaan: You know what it is?
chaos: yes, but i'm going to hide it even though the players should already know.
[In the mean time, the ASHER has been surrounded by allied AMWS. However, they open fire.]
chaos: something's wrong.
Canaan: Thanks for that, chaos.
[The ASHER is crippled by the attacks, but not destroyed, because unnamed characters in this series can't aim for BEANS. CANAAN begins to grasp his head.]
chaos: canaan! don't listen to it! close your mind!
Canaan: That is... the WORST... advice...
Canaan: I mean, how do you even do that?!
Canaan: Close your mind?! What is wrong with- huh, actually, I seem to be okay.
chaos: what were you saying about my advice?
Canaan: ...
chaos: i can't hear you.
Canaan: Thank you, chaos.
chaos: what's that?
Canaan: Thank you, chaos.
chaos: you're welcome.
[chaos and CANAAN are saved by an AMWS wielding a sword.]
???: You don't seem crazy. Stand by to be rescued.
Canaan: I'd love to, but you're wielding the worst possible weapon for this job, so I'm gonna have to take out everyone that isn't nearby.
[They do, but both mechs get wrecked in the process. The mystery pilot exits his cockpit and is attacked by the last remaining enemy AMWS, but cuts it down with his own sword.]
Canaan: How unscientific.
chaos: it's not unscientific, he's just that awesome. who is this mysterious stranger?
[The pilot removes his helmet. He is JIN UZUKI.]
Jin: I am Captain Jin Uzuki. I've got business in these parts.
chaos: i feel a great disturbance in the force... as if a million voices cried out and said "eh, beats shion".
Canaan: Captain, we're looking for the U.R.T.V.s. We're here to protect them.
Jin: Hm, sounds like fate to me. All right, I'll take you.
[They get into combat.]
Canaan: So... so where am I, again?
chaos: you're an "extra".
Canaan: I'm as good as dead, aren't I?
The player: Can we just fight these guys so I can see how terrible combat is now?
chaos: sure thing. you've got paired attacks with triangle and square, as well as single attacks with circle.
The player: Well that doesn't sound so-
chaos: did i mention double attacks, stocking, enemy weakpoints, guard breaking, juggling, and how you have to do all that while keeping track of all the stuff from Xenosaga 1?
The player: Yeah, I'm just gonna spam Triangle until the game forces me to get better.
[They move on.]
Canaan: So this entire thing was a set-up, or... yeah, what's going on here, again?
Jin: I dunno, something about U-TIC and Miltia being made into a scapegoat, but U-TIC is also a cover for a greater power that's manipulating the conflict to get their hands on the Y-Data.
chaos: the y-data?
Jin: I relieved an operative of this disc. And though I was only able to decode it partially, I discovered that all manner of data from all existing phenomena is gathered together within an area of space. And beyond that lies a special place only described in the Y-Data.
Canaan: What does that even mean?
Jin: It means... it means things.
Canaan: ...
Jin: I am a scientist.
Canaan: No you're not!
chaos: captain uzuki, where did you get this?
Jin: I have my ways.
chaos: ...are you going to answer anything we ask you?
Jin: ...Perhaps.
chaos: sigh.
[They continue onward, past a bunch of STUFF that they can't figure out how to interact with in a meaningful way.]
Canaan: Oh well, I'm sure we can come back for this.
chaos: i'm sure it's just a potion or something, who cares
Canaan: What if it's a Decoder?
chaos: they brought that back?
Canaan: Seems that way.
chaos: well, it doesn't matter either way, if there aren't any broken rewards in this game then it's not worth doing.
[They reach a tunnel.]
Jin: This is as far as we'll go.
Canaan: And double-crossed in three... two...
Jin: You'll find the U.R.T.V.s in the lowest level. I wish I could go with you further.
Canaan: What's stopping you?
Jin: Uh-
[Suddenly, a giant statue of an angel above them is smashed to bits by lightning. As the rubble falls on the party, MARGULIS appears.]
Margulis: I gave you too much credit, Uzuki. I thought you were smarter than this.
Jin: My family has a saying, Margulis.
Jin: "Never overestimate an Uzuki."
Margulis: ...
Jin: ...
Margulis: I... see...
Jin: Overestimating me... that was your mistake.
Margulis: ...
Jin: ...
Margulis: ...So it would seem.
Jin: Now then. I have some unfinished business here.
chaos: no you don't. you're only here because you happened to run into us.
Jin: Um-
Margulis: Too late, we're doing this climactic duel now.
[MARGULIS draws his katana.]
Margulis: UZUKIII!
BOSS FIGHT:
MARGULIS
Jin: Hmm, not too much HP, deals reasonable damage... This looks winnable. Okay, let's kick his ass.
[chaos and JIN beat him up.]
Margulis: Breaking my guard? How dare you use strategy!
[MARGULIS assumes a stance that can't be broken.]
Margulis: What now, Uzuki?
Jin: Well Margulis, it looks like you overlooked one thing.
Margulis: And what's that?
Jin: Two is a bigger number than one.
[JIN gets behind MARGULIS.]
Margulis: Being attacked from multiple directions! My only weakness!
[They defeat MARGULIS.]
Jin: Now then, we'll continue this duel on the roof.
[JIN and MARGULIS jump to the roof.]
chaos: wait, you idiot! you're giving up your only advantage against him for absolutely no reason!
Jin: I AM A SWORDSMAN
[JIN and MARGULIS duel in an overly theatrical fashion, including way too much ridiculous jumping around.]
Jin: I learned this trick from Advent Children!
Margulis: Well I learned this trick from Phantom Menace!
[MARGULIS quickly gains an upperhand.]
Jin: Nothing can save me now except for...
[A pillar just happens to fall at that moment, nearly crushing MARGULIS.]
Jin: ...A deus ex machina. Perfect.
Margulis: You're out of your league. Why, it's clear now that you never had a chance.
Jin: I would have if I hadn't foolishly squandered my advantage for no reason!
Margulis: .......yes. Yes, you would have.
Jin: ...
Margulis: ...
Jin: It's a shame I did that, then, isn't it.
Margulis: Your family motto rings truer with every word you speak, Uzuki.
[chaos and CANAAN appear.]
chaos: captain! you're hurt!
Jin: It's... it's from earlier.
chaos: and the other one?
Jin: ...That's from earlier too.
chaos: ...and the other one?
Jin: Okay, yeah, that one's from Margulis. It's nothing to worry about. If you'll pardon the overused quote, it's only a flesh wound.
Margulis: A gaping wound in your side... only a flesh wound?! Ha! I see. So you are a Bleach character as well.
[Suddenly, shaking!]
Margulis: This planet is finished. I'm out of here, just as soon as we finish this battle in a style fitting of Bleach characters.
Jin: In one stroke?
Margulis: No, the other one.
Jin: With a deus ex machina?
Margulis: The other one.
Jin: Giant energy blasts?
Margulis: That's the one.
[They point their swords at each other.]
Jin: Freeze him solid!
Margulis: Blazing flames, spread!
[MARGULIS' fireball and JIN's ice blast whizz past each other and create an explosion. When the dust settles, JIN collapses and MARGULIS has a huge cut going down the right side of his face.]
Margulis: Now you see your death. I have always been your better, in every way, Uzuki. It's something that old fool couldn't-
Jin: Hey Margulis.
Margulis: What.
Jin: Aren't you going to mock me for missing?
Margulis: No, I think you embarrass yourself plenty without my aid.
Jin: I didn't miss.
Margulis: ...I didn't say you-
[The floor beneath MARGULIS collapses and he plummets out of sight.]
Jin: ...And THAT's why you never overestimate an Uzuki.
Canaan: ...Err, Captain-
chaos: just let it go, canaan.
Canaan: But-
chaos: just... just let it go.
[JIN uploads his data to CANAAN.]
Jin: Storing it with you is safer. And now, I must leave.
chaos: but-
Jin: Sorry, gotta go! P.S. bring the truth of this conflict to light.
[JIN jumps away.]
chaos: ...
Canaan: ...
chaos: you know, i don't recall anyone in the first game being this blatantly superhuman.
Canaan: ...In any case, we've got work to do.
[chaos turns around and sees a giant mass of all-consuming blackness.]
chaos: ...so i've got bad news and i've got bad news.
[The black mass consumes everything.] [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-Okay, I'll admit. This whole platforming on clouds thing is pretty cool.
-heyyyy a dungeon with twelve mini-puzzles, there's no part of that I don't like. Now if only all the puzzles were as complex as the Scorpio, Capricorn, Gemini, and Libra ones. Instead of just "here's a pool of water and a hint about a crab that can't swim, WHAT DO???"
-New part of the world map and a new summon: Moloch!
-Ryu Kou: Is it tiresome to always need your friends to save you from your own mouth?
Tyrell: I'll save YOU from your own mouth!
Ryu Kou: ...look, is there anyone else I can talk to?
Karis: God, I hope so.
-ahahahaha
old man, you are all right by me
-whoever left this little sheep out in the cold is getting an ass-kicking if I ever find them
-RAPALA PRO DJINN FISHING 2010
-Matthew: I AM RIGHT BEHIND YOU SVETA
Sveta: NICE TRY MATTHEW BUT YOU ARE TOO SLOW, NOW I AM THE ONE WHO IS BEHIND YOU
-Sveta: We of Morgal have refined senses. By which I mean, we are part animal. And thus have animalistic senses. Which are better than human senses.
Party: STILL NOT FOLLOWING YOU HERE
-Tyrell: Whoa! She's a kitty-dog!
SVETA THE SPACE DOG THAT HOPES TO SOMEDAY BECOME A CAT
-Tyrell: I-I just want her in the group for her m-mind reading, th-that's all!
hmm. and here i had assumed they were going in a tyrell/karis direction. welp, no takesies-backsies.
-Hou Zan: It's dangerous to go alone!
"Take this." *gives disciple a wooden sword*
-whoo, party of six. sorry tyrell, if it makes you feel better, this was a much closer call than rief vs. amiti. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
Canaan: That seems to be going around. But at least I don't have a much better VA from the first game to get compared to.
You haven't even gotten to the worst part of this yet. Just... just wait until you meet the rest of the party.
chaos: i feel a great disturbance in the force... as if a million voices cried out and said "eh, beats shion".
This is true for anyone though, so it isn't really saying anything.
chaos: did i mention double attacks, stocking, enemy weakpoints, guard breaking, juggling, and how you have to do all that while keeping track of all the stuff from Xenosaga 1?
The player: Yeah, I'm just gonna spam Triangle until the game forces me to get better.
If you ignore everything, you're (almost definitely) not getting out of Disc 1. As mentioned, you could make it out without getting everything, but I have a feeling you wouldn't get too far into Disc 2 like that. [/spoiler]
---
[Spoiler for Dark Dawn, click to show]Sveta
Best character in the series alert.
hmm. and here i had assumed they were going in a tyrell/karis direction. welp, no takesies-backsies.
Shipping Tyrell and Sveta is...
why would you do that to Sveta?
what has she done to you?
-whoo, party of six. sorry tyrell, if it makes you feel better, this was a much closer call than rief vs. amiti.
It shouldn't have been!
Matthew/Sveta/Karis/Amiti the superior party though. [/spoiler]
---
xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
that bad, huh.
If you ignore everything, you're (almost definitely) not getting out of Disc 1. As mentioned, you could make it out without getting everything, but I have a feeling you wouldn't get too far into Disc 2 like that.
We're gonna have some issues, then.
I get the feeling it wouldn't be so bad, but the interface is completely unintuitive. I can never even tell, like, when I have boosts available. [/spoiler]
--
[Spoiler for GSDS, click to show]Best character in the series alert.
We shall see.
Shipping Tyrell and Sveta is...
why would you do that to Sveta?
what has she done to you?
Man, I'm just calling it like I see it.
I'm not supporting it.
It shouldn't have been!
The bigger issue here is that Rief is probably the worst playable character in any Golden Sun game. <_< [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
Yes.
Basically only Jr., Ziggy, and the antagonists are spared. It's strange too, because some of the different VAs stay for Xenosaga III too, and I don't mind it there. It's in XS2 some of it is... just... yeah. Maybe they weren't used to the characters yet or something, I dunno. Or maybe by then I had just gotten used to it.
We're gonna have some issues, then.
I get the feeling it wouldn't be so bad, but the interface is completely unintuitive. I can never even tell, like, when I have boosts available.
Okay, here's a few things that might help:
-I think Boosts are now shared by the whole party and do not belong to individual characters.
-Who you are using in battle now matters a lot more
-- MOMO is an engine of destruction. Seriously. The amount of damage output she has is hilarious.
-- Shion, Ziggy, and chaos are... not advisable. Usually. The reason for this is that all their attacks inherently have an element to them (Beam/Thunder, Fire, and Aura, respectively, IIRC) This causes a ton of problems, unless of coruse, you're up against an enemy weak to their element.
---On this subject of elements. Sword Ethers. Get them. All of them. They let whoever you cast them have that element tacked onto their attacks. Unless they are Shion, Ziggy, or chaos, because that inherent element thing overrules it. And that's why you want to avoid them. Well, one of the reasons. There are more.
- I recommend Jr., MOMO, KOS-MOS again, but this time it's definitely one of the more effective teams, IMO, though granted, with Shion/Ziggy/chaos out, you don't have many choices. KOS-MOS can Air enemies, MOMO is crazy powerful since all her attacks are Ether and not Physical, And Jr. is a pro.
-Air and Down are your friends. Especially Air, because the only ones who can directly cause Down are chaos and Ziggy and they are not your friends. Unfortunately, some enemies can block Air, but eh. Air/Down let you do 2x damage while they last - which is only a single turn. How is that useful then? With mass stocking and mass boosting usually.
--Also, you'll eventually have to practically always Break an enemy to get Air or Down to work, at least on bosses - but you should be using Break anyway. That skill that lets you see the break zone, or remember it, or whatever it does. Get that on everyone. But especially Jr. But also everyone. After an enemy is "broken" they take 1.5x damage for the rest of the turn, IIRC. So, don't just do it once in battle and never again.
-Elements are actually important this time! If an enemy has an elemental weakness, you should exploit it as much as possible. Cast the proper sword ether on everyone, etc. Even if they have no elemental weakness you should probably still cast the sword ethers because of this next thing.
--Elemental Chains. Each consecutive attack made with the same element during a turn adds 1 to the chain. IIRC, it was worked out that each part of the chain adds .01x to the damage multiplier. Doesn't sound like much, but with tons of stock and boosting, plus all the other things you should be doing it can help, plus, it's more damage, so why not. If you hit an enemy with an element of a different type (or just no element) you break the chain and it goes back to 0. This is another reason why Shion, Ziggy, and chaos are to be avoided. Since you can't change their element attack type with Sword Ethers, unless you actually want the element they have, they'll just break your element chains. The chain will also end automatically once your "turn" ends.
-Ether Combos. I have no idea how many of these there are, but I'll mention three of the more important ones I can think of. To use them, when it's one of your characters' move, trigger boost with someone, then go to use Ether. You should be able to use triangle to try and combine ethers. Take Double Medica. If both characters know Medica, you should be able to combine them for Double Medica - which heals the whole party like a Medica All would. There's also Double Medica 2, where this time both would need Medica 2, that heals the whole party by even more than Medica All. You're probably going to want those. There's also Analyze + Psycho Pocket which lets you steal rare items. For this, it'll be fine if one character knows Analyze and the the other knows Psycho Pocket. It's less important than the Medica ones though.
IIRC, by endgame, my strategy for everything was something like:
Max Boost.
Max Stock on everyone.
Cast appropriate Sword Ethers on everyone.
Focus Fire on an enemy using all stocks and boosts until the enemy is defeated.
If the enemy survived that, set it up again and unleash it again.
Continue until all enemies have been defeated.
Healing as appropriate. [/spoiler]
--
[Spoiler for Dark Dawn, click to show]We shall see.
Alex is the only one with an argument, tbqh.
Man, I'm just calling it like I see it.
I'm not supporting it.
good
The bigger issue here is that Rief is probably the worst playable character in any Golden Sun game. <_<
Honestly, Sveta might be the best playable character in any Golden Sun game. And this time I'm not even talking character-wise (even though that's not even close). Sveta is so ridiculously powerful it's funny. Beast Form is practically an instant win button. And even without it, Sveta is pro. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
-Looting Belinsk.
-yesssssssss assassin's blade
-I like how the Sun Saga books basically don't mention the efforts of Jenna/Sheba/Piers at all. Apparently Felix was working alone until Isaac/Garet/Ivan/Mia joined him.
-okay, nothing to do here, time to leave. guess we're headed to the border town now.
-Ulysses summon GET
-Border Town is a dive, let's get outta here.
-oh, i see, we can't, there is plot in the way.
-Guess we'll have to rescue Eoleo to magically reopen the border.
-Party: I don't know if we want to help a pirate.
Matthew: goddammit you guys just take the plot hook
Party: NEVER
-Port Rago looting time.
-so many crates
-so many mercury djinn
-Sup Briggs, how's it hangin'. Get your ass kicked by any good adventurer groups lately?
-Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
whoa
whoa
whoa
you can't just reveal the main character's mother like that.
do you have any idea how many flame wars this will cause.
-I like how Briggs is leaving out that Tret is a TREE. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
She overheard your talk of pairing her with Tyrell and was so disgusted she left the party. I don't blame her.
Sveta is so damn classy though, I had given her an artifact while she was with the team, and she actually gave it back to me when she left. Such class.
-I like how the Sun Saga books basically don't mention the efforts of Jenna/Sheba/Piers at all. Apparently Felix was working alone until Isaac/Garet/Ivan/Mia joined him.
I like that Felix is apparently still considered a villain or something in-universe. Despite being totally correct.
you can't just reveal the main character's mother like that.
do you have any idea how many flame wars this will cause.
In his defense, Isaac/Jenna was the closest thing to canon GS1/GS2 had, so it was the safest possible reveal he could make.
Still, lol at how the reveal happens from Briggs like that. It's almost like he heard about his pal Ranulf's shenanigans.
-I like how Briggs is leaving out that Tret is a TREE.
well he never said tret wasn't a tree. [/spoiler]
---
xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
-NPC: People think our little village is cursed just because every now and then we turn into trees and whatnot.
......................
http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/5079/revelationsthedemonslayo.png
-The Venus Djinni Garland joined you!
Garland
This tree spirit is found in Kolima Village. It will knock you all down.
(actually, that's more appropriate than you might think for this game. what's another word for knocking something down? felling it. and when an enemy in this game is defeated, it's described as being "felled". yep.)
-What a cop-out from Sun Saga 5. "Felix and Isaac's parties worked together to light Mars Lighthouse! yeah! The Golden Sun Event! yeah! agatio and karst were uh... off having tea. the wise one? alex? the dragon? vale? never heard of them."
-...You know, I tried for like twenty minutes to come up with a That '70s Show circle gag parody for the dream leaf sequence, but I haven't seen that show in years. It probably wouldn't have been very funny anyway. About the only good part would have been:
Amiti: Good day.
Rief: But Amiti-
Amiti: I SAID GOOD DAY.
-And if you go chasing soarwings
And you know you're going to fall
Tell 'em a dream leaf smoking djinni
Has given you a call
To call Karis, when she was just small
yes, i'm going to reference that song at every possible opportunity.
-Things Kenri Would Do If He Was In A JRPG:
#48: If I'm ever in a dungeon and a large fish is following me or in some way impeding my progress, I'll attack it immediately instead of waiting for the inevitable boss fight.
-I get the feeling this boss would be pretty annoying if I didn't have ways of nuking the entire enemy party.
-A wise-crackin' Venus Djinni? You just know that if they made a Dark Dawn movie, this guy would be voiced by Eddie Murphy. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
On one hand, those are written from an in-universe point of view, so it makes sense they don't know everything. ...What remains puzzling is how they know what they know and still manage to be wrong. ...Like... did they talk to anyone from the Warriors of Vale? ...And they just let that go? ...Actually, if they talked to Isaac it would all make sense.
By the way, I'm assuming you "fixed" Kolima village. On your way out of there at whatever point, make sure to pick up a few dream leaves. Or really, you only need 1, I think. And go to Border Town and use their Inn, should get the option to use it there for one of the more infamous missables. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
-XD yessssssssss even tret forgets about garet
-Karis: He's kind of quiet. His name is Matthew.
Man, half the time you guys are yelling at me for yelling at you. Now I'm the quiet one? god.
-Amiti is related to Mia? HMMMM I WONDER HOW THAT COULD BE
(well, considering there were only like three water adepts in the first two games, and two of them were related...)
-Laurel: I keep having to apologize for the behavior of my companions.
Karis: It's odd, we've only just met but I feel a deep, spiritual connection to you...
-Tret: You assume a castle built on ancient ruins MUST have a secret entrance infested with traps and monsters?
Amiti: Yes.
Tret: You are correct. I will tell you the way.
-So... wait. We need the Slap Psynergy to wake up the Mountain Roc so we can get the magma thingy to break into Belinsk to rescue Eoleo to get the Slap Glove so we can wake up the Mountain Roc?
...............um.
-I really don't know if we should promise not to restart the Alchemy Dynamo. I mean, we've found two devices like this so far, and we ended up restarting them both. I don't see why this will be any different.
-Oh, I see. We're just gonna be handed the Slap Glove by some NPCs. Well that works.
-Man, Sveta, if you wanted to manipulate the group, you should take a hands on approach like Karis does: join the group and yell a lot. This just seems like way too much effort.
-heh, the ol' djinni behind the waterfall trick
-...I sort of feel bad about smacking that roc. =/
-Matthew: !!
Tyrell: You said it, Matthew!
XD
-welp, that was a tricky fight. ...And now Sveta is going to be pissed at us.
-Man, you silly NPCs, trying to accomplish things on your own.
-...that jupiter djinni. it looks... familiar...
...
http://www.metroidwiki.org/images/7/73/Alpha_Metroid_M2_Art.png
:O
-All right, back to Belinsk. Relevant stats:
Djinn: 10 Venus, 12 Mercury, 7 Mars, 9 Jupiter
New summons: Haures, Ulysses, Moloch... I think that's all of them. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
aww yeah
-Amiti is related to Mia? HMMMM I WONDER HOW THAT COULD BE
it's a mystery
-Tret: You assume a castle built on ancient ruins MUST have a secret entrance infested with traps and monsters?
Amiti: Yes.
Tret: You are correct. I will tell you the way.
Tret is mad that he's in an RPG.
-Man, Sveta, if you wanted to manipulate the group, you should take a hands on approach like Karis does: join the group and yell a lot. This just seems like way too much effort.
Sveta is clearly overestimating the group's intelligence.
-All right, back to Belinsk. Relevant stats:
Djinn: 10 Venus, 12 Mercury, 7 Mars, 9 Jupiter
New summons: Haures, Ulysses, Moloch... I think that's all of them.
That should be everything.
Next PoNR can only really be described as, "When you get on the ship."
It's really quite close to the "Go back to Belinsk one" so this time I'll just tell you what things you should get:
1 Venus Djinn, 1 Mercury Djinn, 2 Summons.
The good news is that after this ship PoNR, that should be it for Djinn/Summon related PoNRs. There's only one more I'd even consider worth mentioning, and all you could lose out on by missing it is an Artifact Sword that will get outclassed by endgame weapons, and that PoNR doesn't trigger until like the Final Dungeon. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
He should just be happy he's not in a platformer.
http://img.imgcake.com/whispyjpgjy.jpg
--
-welcome back, sveta
-This dungeon is AWESOME. If I didn't know better, I'd think this was the end of the game!
-summary of plot: manipulators manipulating manipulators manipulating manipulators
-Karis: Spherical planets? BLASPHEMY
-did we seriously come all this way only to go "welp, nope, can't restart the dynamo, oh well"
-Oh hey, it's the villains. Sup Masked Man?
-ahahahahaha you think you beat us. oh man. this far into the game? no way. the time to take on the heroes is early on, before they get decent healing magic and nukes. but now? you guys are so screwed.
-Masked Man: How many times must I prove that you tiresome insects can't challenge me in battle?
Karis: You haven't even proved that once yet.
Masked Man: I just-
Karis: Oh Tyrell does NOT count! First of all, you knocked him down for all of two seconds. I can do worse than that just by punching him in the back of the head. Second of all, look at him. He couldn't beat an egg.
Tyrell: You just had to bring up the egg incident, didn't you?!
-......No, I'm not calling you Arcanus. Your new name is Masque*DeMasque.
-...You know, Sveta, you really should have taken advantage of the fact that the villains were KO'd and read their minds. tsk tsk.
-Instead of fleeing for my life, I explored and found possibly my favorite summon in the whole series: Eclipse.
-We rescue the girl and are reunited with KRADEN! <3, yessssssssssss, etc.
-...you know, for a while there I was honestly thinking that Ryu Kou or whatever his name was was going to be the last party member, an Earth Adept.
-We also rescue Eoleo. C'mon, man. You're a Fire Adept and you couldn't get out of a cage? A cage with a WOODEN floor? you are a FIRE adept.
-...welp, everyone's doomed.
-volechek why would you go in there. just... why.
-dammit why did you try to protect a DRAGON. it's a DRAGON. it doesn't need help from generic NPC villagers!
-...I guess on the bright side we got the Crystallux summon, which is really freaking cool looking.
-.......and we apparently had enough time during this crisis to dig some graves?
-........................and because of that, Briggs ends up dying. Goddammit, you guys. PRIORITIES.
-Wait. Wait wait wait. Did Kraden not know that Briggs would be here? Then why did he want us to go to the pier?
-Okay, that's a pretty cool line. "I must stay... and you must live." Volechek, you may be an idiot who put the entire world in mortal danger for no reason and you may have absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever but uh...
...
I'm not sure where I was going with that.
-boat confirmed, best game ever
-so uh, is there any reason to put Eoleo in my party? because I'm pretty happy with Matthew/Karis/Amiti/Sveta right now.
-I want a Golden Sun spinoff starring Kraden and Ikan. ...And Tret. And Briggs. With Piers as a recurring guest.
-Okay! Into the Warrior's Hill we go. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
Yeah, the Belinsk Ruins/Luna/Eclipse Tower is pretty pro. In fact, starting when Sveta rejoins the group at the beginning of that dungeon is pretty much where I mark the game going from "Worse than GS1" to "Best in the series." But as I've said before, that is probably a rather controversial position, but I liked where the game went from there.
-summary of plot: manipulators manipulating manipulators manipulating manipulators
You have no idea.
-........................and because of that, Briggs ends up dying. Goddammit, you guys. PRIORITIES.
you could have skipped on crystallux, it's not required that you go there. >_>
-Wait. Wait wait wait. Did Kraden not know that Briggs would be here? Then why did he want us to go to the pier?
Maybe he hoped there'd just be a boat?
-Okay, that's a pretty cool line. "I must stay... and you must live." Volechek, you may be an idiot who put the entire world in mortal danger for no reason and you may have absolutely no redeeming qualities whatsoever but uh...
Hey, Volechek earned some points back with me for that. But yeah, he and the party probably caused the most horrific event in the series right there.
-so uh, is there any reason to put Eoleo in my party? because I'm pretty happy with Matthew/Karis/Amiti/Sveta right now.
No, because that is the superior party. [/spoiler]
---
xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
I thought we were just going there to rescue Volechek, not dig graves for NPCs. <_<
Maybe he hoped there'd just be a boat?
...Okay yeah I guess that does make sense SHUT UP. >_>
Hey, Volechek earned some points back with me for that. But yeah, he and the party probably caused the most horrific event in the series right there.
I think the party's more or less blameless in all this. It was really all Masque*DeMasque and Ryu Kou.
--
-Eoleo: I'm not doing anything a rock tells me.
That has to be a dig at GS1, right?
-Coatlicue Summon GET
->implying isaac can be in danger
-Kraden: I suppose my pigeon has you at an advantage, Tyrell. If I can teach it to throw fireballs, you may be out of a job.
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss kraden
-OH GOD THE THIRD EYE POSSESSED A GIRL ABORT ABORT
-oh, i guess she's okay. and joining the party. not sure if I want to swap out matthew, amiti, or neither.
-...So Search doesn't actually reveal hidden items. That's just great. Thanks, Golden Sun. Thanks so much.
-so many crates to examine in tonfon. and it makes so little difference.
-Piers is here? where where where
-ryu kou's mother is grieving for him and we can't just tell her he's alive and also we stole from her
-okay so we've got to track down Ryu Kou to get a map so we can track down the rest of the Umbra Gear.
-Exploring Lonely Island Ruins for fun and profit!
-That's... what, two pieces of Umbra Gear already? At the rate we're going we won't even NEED the map. <_< [/spoiler]
...These writeups are even lazier than my usual writeups. I blame Xenosaga, for taking a lot more effort than usual despite being the lazy way out. Try and figure that one out.
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
I'd put the blame, in order, on:
1. Arcanus
2. Ryu Kou
T3. The party
T3. Volechek
5. Blados and Chalis (Because they failed terribly and lost to the party)
-Kraden: I suppose my pigeon has you at an advantage, Tyrell. If I can teach it to throw fireballs, you may be out of a job.
yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss kraden
Best Kraden line in the whole series, probably.
-oh, i guess she's okay. and joining the party. not sure if I want to swap out matthew, amiti, or neither.
Neither, IMO.
-That's... what, two pieces of Umbra Gear already? At the rate we're going we won't even NEED the map. <_<
>_> [/spoiler]
---
xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
-Eoleo explains his Thermal Psynergy. It's frickin' stupid and I don't like it. You are the worst Adept, Eoleo. (That's actually a total lie, Rief is way worse.)
-Well, we can't continue here, so let's set sail FOR
-Rief asks Kraden what happened to his sister and why she's not here with him. Huh, I forgot about that, too! It's a valid question, she's a much better character than Rief is. Kraden says she fell in love with Piers instantly and went off sailing with him.
..............
live the dream, girl. live the dream...
-I found Ryu Kou's boat but I can't seem to interact with it at all.
-I honestly can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing aside from that, so I'm just going to go play Xenosaga 2 now. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-We rescued Ryu Kou and his sister. The cool old guy died. *salutes*
-We took Ryu Kou and his sister back home and got the second jewel. I forget which one we had before, red or blue, but now we have both. It seems like Masque*DeMasque wants us to collect all three, so we have determined to do exactly that, because why SHOULDN'T we do exactly what our enemies want?
-We took both jewels to the Sand Temple and got the yellow one. Also the Gaia Blade.
-Incidentally, Sveta is haunted and Amiti is both haunted and envenomed but I'm too lazy to go to a town so we're just making due.
-Also got the Umbra... Gloves, I think, from an island to the far south.
so little progress. ugh. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-Well, we're getting a Djinni and finishing the Encyclopedia first. But that's all.
-Champa proper is even MORE of a dive. god you guys suck.
-Obaba: "So who are the rest of you? Probably a ragtag group of scrappy heroes out to stop this nasty eclipse, eh? Good."
*nods approvingly*
-Protip, game devs: When you have an NPC say "this task will take some time, come back later" players read that as "talk to me again immediately, and if that doesn't work, take one step out of the area, then turn around and talk to me again". You might as well just make it instantaneous because then at least you're not drawing attention to the fact that it's stupid.
-i also like how most of the gear i'm getting out of this forging sidequest would have been obsolete like four hours ago. but hey, more useless gold, i guess.
-It is depressing going back to the areas from the first part of the game post-Eclipse. At least I got that grandchild's gift out of my inventory though.
-Snowdrift Shrine is really cool. There's not a lot to it, but it's one of the coolest dungeon designs I've seen in a while.
-the umbra goggles do nothing
-Is that all the Umbra Gear? I think it just might be! Hells yeah! [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-Okay, Apollo's Ascent is a really cool dungeon. I was overall pretty disappointed by the lack of puzzles in this game, but this is really cool.
-all djinn GET
-I really don't think the Umbra Gear stamina thing was a necessary addition. It's so easy, and so brief, that it might as well not exist at all.
-I realize this is basically a cutscene but I still think it's pretty awesome.
-hello alex.
-...so kraden's argument for why arcanus might have been his real name is that it was... too convenient of a name?
.......
That's not an argument for that at all. In fact, it's a very compelling argument for Arcanus being an alias. what is wrong with you kraden. you're supposed to be the smart one.
-oh go away blados and chalis nobody likes you
-Dark Adepts? I don't know about that, game. What's their governing planet, Pluto OH WAIT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fuck you blados and chalis
-So... Alex is going to stall Blados and Chalis for us? Why are we doing what he says? What part of this is not suspect in EVERY way?
-the monster is volechek. why is this not immediately obvious to everyone there. why did reading its mind not reveal this, sveta.
i'm starting to think you don't even have actual mind reading powers.
i think you just say you do and nobody argues with you because 500 damage per turn. per turn.
-I don't think Alex actually lost a fight against Blados and Chalis. In fact, I don't think he ever even really fought them. Because Alex would have just one-shotted them both if he was serious, and if he wasn't serious, he'd have kept them busy for longer than this through sheer mockery. I think he just teleported out immediately and that explains why they're back so soon.
-I'm glad my theory about ignoring Volechek and just killing Blados and Chalis was correct, because it was annoying to do that without summons.
-it's the end of the game. time for the obligatory "fusion of two or more characters that is shoehorned in as the final boss for no reason". so dumb. so very dumb.
-oh my god why does this boss get 47 actions per turn
-why does he have instant KO moves
-why does he have djinn storm
-why did he use djinn storm on sveta like a turn in, thus nerfing her super form for the rest of the fight... actually never mind, that was a pretty sensible thing to do.
-and i die.
-okay let's try that again but less stupidly.
-yay.
-oh my god let me save my game my battery is so close to dying and i wasn't at home when i played this so i couldn't plug it in and FFFFFFFFFFFFF-
-Since when did this become Yu Yu Hakusho? I'm pretty sure that if the characters here had the ability to transfer their reiki to others I'd have known about it.
-(to the tune of "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain")
oh we'll be sacrificing ourselves for no reason when she comes, yes we'll be sacrificing ourselves for no reason when she comes, yeah we'll sacrificing ourselves for no reason, we'll be sacrificing ourselves for no reason, yes we'll be sacrificing ourselves for no reason when she comes! When she comes!
ONE MORE TIME...
-Volechek pulling the ol' sacrifice switcheroo. I am shocked.
-I CAST MAGIC MISSILE AT THE DARKNESS
-thank you for letting me save, game.
-why are all the beastmen super saiyans now.
-goin' home, finally gonna finish the first quest we set out to do~
-..............well that's a downer
-WORLD'S LONGEST, LEAST INTERESTING CREDITS
-That ending was like 10x more of a cop-out than the GS1 ending. I'm not even kidding, either. Whereas GS1's ending point was very clearly picked to serve as a midway point for the larger story, this was more like "LOL WHOOPS I FORGOT TO RESOLVE THE PLOT"
-All right, clear data get, it's bonus boss time.
-Ogre Titans are surprisingly tough when #4 and #5 are out at the same time.
-one bonus boss down
-Ancient Devil? pffft. you don't look so tough.
-Ancient Devil: Hmm... which one of them looks the strongest... Dude with a big-ass sword? 12 foot tall wolf-goliath? Royal looking guy wielding a katana? Naaaaaaaaah... I think I'll grab that young girl. she looks formidable.
-Tyrell: Karis, we all love you and everything, but if you try to fight against us we will destroy you.
Karis: I'll be over here trying not to draw your ire please don't summon eclipse
Tyrell: SUMMON ECLIPSE
Karis: dammit you guys
-welp, that's two bonus bosses down. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow puzzles here
-star magician you are the WORST bonus boss. you would almost be a challenge if you weren't weak to being punched in the balls
(and if you think that is lowbrow humor, you are not gonna like parts of my xenosaga 2 writeups)
-Crossbone Island.
-so this is where the game hid all its puzzles.
-so this is where the game hid all its summons
-what the. Dullahan isn't even beyond the final puzzle? he's just chilling on the bottom level?
-FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
Charon and Djinn Storm you guys are not credit to team
-and i die. i can't help but think that would have gone better if charon hadn't killed 3/4ths of my party, leaving the one remaining member to eat a djinn storm. ouch.
-okay, again but less stupid.
-what the
crucible can steal your summons?
-i can't help but think that would have gone better if he hadn't stolen coatlicue.
had him down to 3k-4k HP before he healed everything. and then TPK'd me with charon for funsies.
-Okay, time to tap into my GS1 and 2 strategy. summons gogogogogogogogo
-and he dies in like three turns.
-yay, another summon I'll never use. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
It is so, so, soooo good. Probably going to end up being one of my favorite games.
It's basically Super Metroid mixed with E.V.O.: Search for Eden, if anyone's played that game. Basically, your main character is Ellie, who has a Bracelet that lets her shoot a variety of beam attacks. But she can also just beat the shit out of monsters with her bare hands and a satchel.
YES.
SHE BEATS ENEMIES TO DEATH WITH A BOOK BAG.
AND IT IS AWESOME.
Basically, beam attacks are way more powerful, but they consume energy. Melee attacks are weaker, but restore your beam energy. Melee attacks also let you juggle defeated enemies for fun and prizes, which is important.
Here's where EVO: Search for Eden comes in - you've got a monster ally named Chomp who flies around and attacks enemies for you. He gains EXP from combat, but also from playing with, studying, or eating the items enemies drop upon death. EXP lets him level up, which grants him new abilities and traits (basically equipped stat boosts), as well as letting him evolve into new forms. You can chance between these forms whenever you want, but there's some incentive to stay in each one, at least for a while, because it lets you unlock the next form in the evolutionary tree, as well as letting you master skills and traits. See, you can only use a skill or trait in the form that unlocked it, UNTIL you master it, then you can use it whenever.
The story? You get sucked into the monster's world, and you have to go around beating up the five evil Kid Kings who conquered the world some time ago. I just fought the third major boss, Mr. Lobster the giant rabbit, who killed me like three times. Fucking lobster rabbits, goddamn.
tl;dr: buy it.
OTHER STUFF I PLAYED RECENTLY:
- I broke out Donkey Kong Land for the GameBoy, and by "broke out" I mean "emulated", because fuck if I'm playing that on an old, non-backlit portable, no thank you. Every other time I've played this game, I got to an awful platform-riding level in the third world and quit because it was too hard. This time I managed to beat it, although it still destroyed me a couple times, and then shortly thereafter I beat the game as a whole. (Incidentally, that one level probably isn't even top 3 hardest in the whole game, it's just a huge difficulty spike after the first two fairly easy worlds.)
The game is a really good game - I definitely like it more than DKC3, at least - but it has some issues. Mainly, the GameBoy screen is too small to see what's coming up ahead, so you often get hit by enemies right as they scroll on-screen. Also, for some reason, your falling speed is greater than the camera's scrolling speed, and if you fall off the screen, you die, even if there's floor beneath you. what the fuck.
In any case, I eventually 100% completed the game, which I think just involves going to every bonus stage and maybe getting all the KONG letters in every level.
- I also picked up Sonic Rush again. The only thing I had left to do in this game was get the 7th Chaos Emerald and beat the final story, but the 7th Chaos Emerald's special stage is so much harder than all the others and destroyed me the last time I tried. This time, I... did it in like six tries, which seems like a lot, but isn't when you consider that I could pretty much just retry the special stage over and over. I didn't have to go through the whole level again or anything. Eventually I got it, and as usual, the true final boss was immensely unsatisfying. But eh, at least it had some good music.
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Advanced
that's not a very difficult thing to accomplish
---
"Because nothing says "level 80 dark elf warlock" like "radical 19th century feminist"!" -Ogordemir99 on World of Wollstonecraft
Editor
sorry about this, I promise this won't happen with XS3. <_<
[Spoiler for Xenosaga Episode II, click to show][CANAAN wakes up.]
Researcher: Congrats, Canaan. That's the 127th one we've lost.
Canaan: You're congratulating me for making no progress at all?
Researcher: Yeah sure why not. If we could just find out what that black cloud was, we'd be able to access the data Uzuki gave you.
Canaan: I don't see what one has to do with the other. It seems sort of like saying, "if we knew what sort of crowbar I was hit with, we'd be able to find out where I left my car keys".
Researcher: Yep that sounds about right, I'm gonna knock off early, bye.
Canaan: ...That strippers-to-scientists program bothers me a little more each day.
[CANAAN goes to report to HELMER.]
Helmer: Any progress?
Canaan: No. Partly because nobody in this universe knows how to do their job. Except me. And you. And possibly chaos. And I guess Jin, assuming he's not dead.
Helmer: You're worried?
Canaan: I'm curious. He was significantly more competent than nearly everyone else I've ever met. And that is so, so sad.
Helmer: He left the military and is doing fine.
Canaan: ...Well great, I'm sure whoever we got to replace him is doing a bang-up job.
[Meanwhile, during a routine military training mission...]
Soldier (not THE Soldier): Dang it, Jordan! Ya got rutabaga mash in my rifle again!
[Back to CANAAN and HELMER...]
Helmer: Speaking of people who are borderline competent, we're going to be doing a dive into the Realian 100-Series Prototype's subconscious soon, and we need you...
Canaan: Yes?
Helmer: To pick some people up at the airport.
Canaan: ....................do i get paid.
Helmer: yes.
Canaan: Well all right then.
[The scene changes to the inside of a church.]
Woman: Margulis wishes to report to you, Your Holiness.
THE POPE: Very well, I will put the Solaris Project on hold.
[MARGULIS appears as a hologram.]
THE POPE: I hear you lost the Realian Prototype. Care to enlighten me as to how that happened?
Margulis: An outdated cyborg broke in, stealthed past everyone while blowing up explosive crates, knocked out some guards but failed to kill them, avoided detection by hiding in the only place he could have possibly gone, backtracked to get more items and pick fights with our strongest guards, and finally stalled against me in battle until I walked into a trap.
THE POPE: A trap.
Margulis: Yes.
THE POPE: In your OWN base.
Margulis: Yes.
THE POPE: I understand. You were clearly blameless in the matter. What else?
Margulis: Albedo says the Y-Data has a special form of protection in place.
THE POPE: AAA?
Margulis: More than that.
THE POPE: How many As are we looking at here?
Margulis: According to Albedo? "A fucking lot of As."
Margulis: I took a look at it myself and believe me.
Margulis: We don't want to get anywhere near it.
Margulis: I suggest an alternate approach.
THE POPE: From where?
Margulis: ...I'm gonna go with "Second Miltia", that seems plausible.
THE POPE: ...Can I trust you, Margulis?
Margulis: I don't see why not. I am trustworthy, after all.
THE POPE: Margulis. One last thing. I don't like that URTV. He reminds me of somebody vulgar.
Margulis: Your Holiness, with all due respect.
Margulis: Nobody likes that URTV.
[MARGULIS exits.]
Margulis: Hmph, they get suspicious when they get old. PELLEGRI! How goes things?
Pellegri: As well as can be expected.
Margulis: That bad, huh? In that case, take the E.S. Issachar.
Pellegri: That relic belongs in a museum!
Margulis: Be that as it may, it's an E.S. They're more powerful than newer mechs.
Pellegri: Makes sense.
Margulis: In fairness, I guess they do have the Heart of Anima. That's like a justification.
[YUNA appears.]
Yuna: Hey, I'm gonna need that Heart of Anima back.
Margulis: No, we're not doing this again.
Yuna: But-
Margulis: Get out.
Yuna: FINE.
[YUNA leaves.]
Margulis: ...The Heart of Anima was discovered at the same time as the Zohar.
Pellegri: so would you say that-
Margulis: If you make a Kingdom Hearts joke, Pellegri, so help me god...
Pellegri: Um.
Margulis: ...
Pellegri: ......Should I go now?
Margulis: Yes, that would be a good idea.
[Cut to the ocean. The ELSA is flying towards a city. Inside are SHION, chaos, KOS-MOS, MOMO, ZIGGY, and JUNIOR, as well as ALLEN, and the ELSA crew of MATTHEWS, HAMMER, and TONY.]
Shion: Listen... to my story. This... may be our last chance.
Shion: ...
Shion: Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute and give ya the gist
Of the story of how I became the world's foremost scientist
On Second Miltia born and raised
On the Woglinde is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' while I boast
'bout my skill at vidya games to my buddy KOS-MOS
When a couple of Gnosis who were throwin' a fit
Barged their way in and started wrecking up shit
I got in one boss fight and KOS-MOS shot a jerk
And I said "Fuck, there's gonna be so much goddamn paperwork"
I procrastinated on it day after day,
Made easier by the fact that I had been waylayed
We left the Woglinde and were picked up by the Elsa
I grabbed some dinner and said it's as good as any elsewhere
SOS? No, this is bad
Ziggy and MOMO are lucky that I saved their ass
Is this what being the main character's like?
Hmm, this might be-
[JUNIOR pushes ALLEN into SHION, which knocks her glasses to the floor, where they are prompted stepped on.]
Jr.: Allen, tell Shion that nobody cares.
Allen: I care!
Jr.: Shion, tell Allen that nobody cares.
Shion: Nobody cares, Allen.
Allen: I... but... ugh.
[They depart the ELSA.]
Jr.: Welp, we're heading to the government office. Hope you all kill yourselves bye.
Shion: Hey MOMO, maybe I can show you around town later!
MOMO: No... No, no, no. No. No. God no. That's not gonna happen.
[JUNIOR, MOMO, ZIGGY, and chaos leave.]
Shion: ...KOS-MOS, we need to head to the Vector building.
KOS-MOS: Acknowledged. That will not be a problem.
Shion: ......did you change your voice setting
KOS-MOS: I have set it to "twelve year old girl", yes.
Shion: ...I'm okay with this.
[Back to TEAM NOT-SHION.]
Ziggy: Can you all wait for a bit? I need to report to the Big 5.
MOMO: Tell mommy I said hi!
[ZIGGY accesses a computer terminal and summarizes the events of the first game to JULI MIZRAHI.]
Ziggy: ...and then they made their chief.
Juli: My god. So you've been under Shion's command-
Ziggy: This whole time, yes.
Juli: ...Naturally, you-
Ziggy: -will be raising my rates, yes.
Juli: Understandable.
Ziggy: Also...
Juli: Yes, Jan Sauer?
Ziggy: ...............my name is really just ziggurat 8.
Juli: If you say so.
Ziggy: Anyway. MOMO says hi.
Juli: Oh. I uh.... Oh. Huh. That's... yeah. Bye.
[JULI disconnects.]
Jr.: Man, some people just aren't meant to be parents. Except around here it's more like "everyone", and they're not meant to be "anything" because they're terrible at "everything".
Ziggy: You know, it's rude to eavesdrop.
Jr.: But infinitely entertaining. By the way, if you want to live longer, I can hook you up with some Realian technology.
Ziggy: No thank you.
Jr.: MOMO would appreciate it.
Ziggy: I really, really, really just want to be allowed to do my own thing.
Jr.: ACCEPT OUR UNWANTED HELP
Ziggy: NEVER
[JUNIOR, chaos, MOMO, and ZIGGY get in a car and leave.]
chaos: you know, it's still kind of unclear why i'm even going with you.
MOMO: I'm more concerned about why I'm suddenly five years older.
Jr.: I'm more concerned about the big ass mech that's attacking us.
Ziggy: ...
chaos: ...
MOMO: ...Well, he's got me beat.
[BENNY HILL starts playing.]
Jr.: It's a good thing these mechs were built with a vulnerability to antique pistols!
Ziggy: Who are these guys?
chaos: can't be albedo, it's not even mid-game yet.
Jr.: Dammit, we'll never get away with the car on auto. Can anyone here drive?
Ziggy: ...
chaos: ...
MOMO: I can!
Jr.: ...That makes as much sense as anything else that's ever happened to us. Do it!
[MOMO begins driving.]
Jr.: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
Ziggy: WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE
MOMO: THE NAME MY DRIVING HAS BEEN GIVEN IS
MOMO: RADICALGOODSPEEEEEEEEEED
[They manage to get inside a tunnel the mech can't follow them into.]
MOMO: We made it! And it only cost us a car.
[The other mech bursts in.]
MOMO: ...Oh.
chaos: jr.! i have an idea.
[BENNY HILL stops as chaos throws a fire extinguisher at the mech. JUNIOR shoots it, causing a smokescreen.]
Civilian: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Pedestrian: OH GOD NO
Bystander: THE MECHS I WAS OKAY WITH BUT FIRE EXTINGUISHERS ARE VERY FRIGHTENING
[The party manages to get away.]
chaos: you know, i was sort of hoping it would explode, like in the movies.
Jr.: That would have been a LOT less lame.
Ziggy: Need I remind you that we're not done escaping yet?
[They continue escaping.]
Jr.: I'm glad this quickly moving current doesn't slow us down or knock us over or anything.
MOMO: I'm glad I learned archery in the brief period after leaving the Proto Merkabah but before landing at the airport.
Jr.: Yeah, I was going to ask what the deal was with that.
MOMO: Oh, I just figured that if antique guns are so effective, I'd take the idea to its logical conclusion.
Jr.: I don't think logic factors into this. At any point.
[JUNIOR contacts GAIGNUN.]
Jr.: Gaignun? Gaignun! Are there?! Respond! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGNUN!
Gaignun: Wait, what? I was daydreaming. What's happening?
Jr.: We're in danger!
Gaignun: Again?
Jr.: We're also de-leveled!
Gaignun: ...that could be a problem. Is there a helicopter nearby?
Jr.: Uh... yeah, actually.
Gaignun: Nice knowing you.
[U-TIC grunts drop from the helicopter.]
Grunts: Surrender or die!
Jr.: No, that's not gonna happen.
[The grunts surround the party, open fire, and 2HKO everyone.]
Jr.: Well, I was sure wrong.
GAME OVER
[...but then!]
Soldier: Jr.!
Jr.: Soldier?!
Soldier: Listen! I have important advice! You need...
Jr.: Yes?
Soldier: To suck less.
Jr.: ...
Soldier: Preferably a LOT less.
Jr.: ...I understand.
Soldier: I'm not sure that you do!
[SOLDIER revives the party.]
Soldier: Now give it another shot, and remember my advice.
Jr.: What about you?
Soldier: Oh, I'm needed elsewhere.
[SOLDIER exits. The group, after managing to defeat the grunts dropped from the helicopter, moves on and ends up fighting a randomly appearing boss.]
BOSS FIGHT:
O-88 LIBRA
[It really barely even qualifies as a boss fight.]
MOMO: When I grow up I wanna be a combat model!
Jr.: YOU'RE A 100-SERIES
MOMO: ;___;
[They continue on and are ambushed by the mechs from earlier!]
Richard: You remember me, right?!
Jr.: Um, no? Have we met before? I mean, before today?
Richard: Ahem. You know us as Team U-TIC and we fight for what is wrong!
Hermann: We're tired of our motto so we thought we'd try a song!
Richard: Richard!
Jr.: Well, you're definitely a Dick, all right.
Hermann: Hermann!
Richard & Hermann: At the speed of light, prepare to fight.
MOMO: MOMO, that's right!
Hermann: SHUT THE HELL UP
Richard: YOU DON'T GET TO BE IN OUR SONG
Hermann: MAKE YOUR OWN SONG
Richard: WE WORKED HARD ON THIS
Hermann: All that time spent in rehearsal...
Richard: And the costumes...
Hermann: ...
Richard: ...
Hermann: WE FORGOT THE COSTUMES
Richard: I knew something like this was going to happen!
Hermann: This is all your fault, MOMO!
MOMO: But-
Jr.: MOMO stop encouraging them.
MOMO: But I-
Ziggy: Please excuse our associate, she's a 100-Series, respect for musical theatre wasn't part of her programming.
Richard: Oh, we are so far beyond apologies.
Jr.: What about violence?
Richard: ...Hold on, I'll check.
[RICHARD and HERMANN converse in whispers.]
Richard: We're not beyond violence yet.
Jr.: Perfect.
BOSS FIGHT:
SCUTUM & PILUM
Richard: GIVE IT UP
Hermann: YOU CAN'T WIN
Jr.: Are you guys ever gonna do anything except taunt us?
Richard: I don't understand the question.
Jr.: Got it. MOMO, chaos, light 'em up.
[MOMO and chaos easily dispatch the two dudes, with marginal help from JUNIOR.]
Jr.: Let this be a lesson to you, Dick:
Jr.: Always use protection.
Richard: No way! Our pro strategy of mocking you and never attacking you was defeated so easily?!
Hermann: Their power levels must be off the charts!
Richard: We've got no choice but to retreat.
Jr.: Pulling out prematurely, eh Dick?
Richard: My name
Richard: IS RICHARD
[Suddenly, the E.S. ISSACHAR appears.]
Pellegri: God, I don't know why I thought you two could handle this. LAUNCHING OPTIONS
Richard: Wait! We'll be caught in the crossfire!
Pellegri: ...LAUNCHING OPTIONS EVEN FASTER NOW
Richard: FFFFFFFFF-
[The OPTIONS are shot down by a mysterious stranger. It is CANAAN in the E.S. ASHER.]
Jr.: Canaan?!
Canaan: We know each other? Well that makes this easier. Rubedo, get down and let me handle this.
[PELLEGRI and CANAAN clash, and end up causing an energy swell that prevents them both from moving.]
Pellegri: Our Diviners are resonating?!
Canaan: ...That reference is kind of a stretch, even for us.
Pellegri: Oh, in that case, fuck you.
[PELLEGRI kicks away from CANAAN and retreats.]
Pellegri: Hermann! Dick! We're pulling out prematurely.
Richard: oh for the love of...
[TEAM U-TIC exits.]
Canaan: Rubedo, you can take it from here, right?
Jr.: ...My name is really just Jr. now.
Ziggy: WELCOME TO MY LIFE
Jr.: Anyway, yes. Assuming they don't just come back immediately once they see that you've left.
Canaan: They're not very competent.
Jr.: Hey, I didn't object to your reasoning, I was just sayin'...
[CANAAN notices chaos.]
Canaan: oh god oh god oh god i hope he remembers me
Canaan: okay, be cool, canaan. gotta play hard to get.
[CANAAN gives chaos a "come hither" look and then exits.]
chaos: ...what the fuck.
MOMO: So um, Jr., do you know him?
Jr.: You mean the guy I explicitly referred to by his first name and conversed with as if we were acquaintances? No, I've never met him before.
MOMO: Okay let me rephrase that. HOW do you know him?
[Flashback to that same flashback that all of JR.'s flashbacks are flashbacks to. Flashback.]
Jr.: Oh god... Somebody, help! Anybody! Nigredo, he... I can't stop the bleeding...
Gaignun: My only regret... is that I had... the worst name possible...
Jr.: Don't say that! It's entirely possible we'll be saved by some main characters any time now!
[chaos and CANAAN appear.]
Jr.: ...still waitin' on those main characters.
chaos: blah blah blah, symbolism. four horsemen. jungian psychology.
Canaan: You're not even trying, are you?
chaos: i'm still not used to actually having to say things.
[CANAAN and chaos rescue JR. and GAIGNUN and learn about ALBEDO. The flashback ends.]
MOMO: So you knew chaos too?
Jr.: Yeah, you'd think that would have come up sometime in the previous game, wouldn't you?
MOMO: Yes.
Jr.: ...
MOMO: ...
Jr.: Anyway.
MOMO: So can I call you Rubedo too?
Jr.: I really, really wish you wouldn't. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Xenosaga Episode II, click to show][We now join SHION, ALLEN, and KOS-MOS, at the VECTOR building.]
Vector Supervisor: This is the KOS-MOS Tertiary Weapons System. It's basically powered by U-DO. You need to hand KOS-MOS over to us so we can install it.
Shion: Well, this might be EXACTLY what Nephilim told me not to do, but I'm still leaning towards doing it anyway.
Vector Supervisor: If it makes you feel better, I've been assured that this probably won't lead to the end of life as we know it.
Shion: ...
Shion: That doesn't make me feel better at all.
Shion: Wait, am I included in "life"?
Vector Supervisor: Yes.
Shion: Okay yeah, that doesn't make me feel better at all.
Vector Supervisor: I didn't want to bring this up, but technically you can't refuse.
Shion: I didn't want to bring this up, but technically I beat an E.S. model to death with my bare hands, defeated a Gnosis without the Hilbert Effect, and am just generally a thousand times more competent than everyone else at everything. Also, my best friend can literally destroy planets. Strictly speaking, I can refuse whatever the hell I want.
Vector Supervisor: But can you refuse... even knowing that this system was designed by Kevin?
Shion: Oh, I guess not. Have fun, KOS-MOS. And you.
Vector Supervisor: ...yes?
Shion: Call me if you need anything!
[SHION leaves. A flashback happens.]
Kevin: I hope that KOS-MOS can create world peace.
Shion: You are literally hoping that the most terrifying, destructive weapon ever created will be responsible something, ANYTHING, other than causing the deaths of a lot of people.
Kevin: Yes.
Shion: d'awwwwwwwwwwwwww
[The flashback ends. ALLEN runs over to SHION.]
Allen: Chief, you're acting weird today.
Shion's mind: Might have something to do with ALL THE ASSORTED CRAP I've been through recently.
Shion: ...
Shion: No I'm not.
Shion: By the way, don't take your eyes off KOS-MOS.
Allen: Okay, but why?
Shion's mind: Because she is going to DESTROY A PLANET unless we change the future somehow, that's why. Idiot.
Shion: ...
Shion: ......
Shion's mind: I want to speak but I am muted by sheer hatred.
[SHION just walks away from ALLEN as quickly as she can. She ends up in the CITY.]
Bunnie: You should use this GS Path to help people with their trivial crap!
Shion: Helping people? That's my favorite passtime! Sign me up!
Bunnie: Okay!
Shion's mind: I am going to ruin so many people's lives with this.
[SHION wanders the streets!]
Old classmate of Shion's: Hey, are you Shion Uzuki?
Shion: Nope, go to hell.
Some guy: You should enter yourself in the Miss Miltia pageant!
Shion: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA fuck you that's the worst pick-up line ever.
Some girl: Do you believe in horoscopes?
Shion: No, you see, I have a brain.
Some girl: Well then, you can't help me with my problem.
Shion: Yes, that's a fairly accurate assessment of the situation here.
[SHION goes to the DOCTOR'S OFFICE!]
Luty: Hey Shion!
Shion: I didn't even do that sidequest, you don't know me, shut up.
[SHION goes to the OTHER PROFESSOR's!]
Other Professor: This prototype Encephalon is incredibly dangerous and can warp reality.
Shion: ...Does that mean I can't dick around with it?
Other Professor: Correct.
Shion: Bah.
[SHION enters MOBY DICK'S CAFE.]
Shion: Wow, it really is the same. Hey, Boss!
Boss: Shion! Long time, no see! You still as insufferable as ever?
Shion: You know it!
Boss: ahahaha
Shion: ahahaha
Boss: Seriously though, buy something or get out.
Shion: Okay, I'll take the usual. And I'm hungry.
Boss: Got it, one food coming up. Or would you like to actually order something specific?
Shion: No thanks.
Boss: By the way, I see your brother around here a lot.
Shion: Oh. I'm so sorry.
[chaos and JUNIOR enter.]
Boss: Well well, speak of the devil.
Shion: What? Neither of them is my brother.
Boss: Yeah, I guess you're right. That's what I get for assuming dramatic conventions would be at play here.
Jr.: Oh god no. chaos, let's go somewhere else.
Shion: .......did you two get new outfits.
chaos: we got chased through the city by a couple giant mechs who were after MOMO and then we went shopping.
Shion: Oh really? Any good deals?
chaos: no but we did spend all the money we accumulated in the first game.
Shion: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
[We now cut to HELMER's office. MARY, SHELLEY, and GAIGNUN enter, joining CANAAN and HELMER.]
Gaignun: Mary, please wait outside, your voice actor hasn't gotten any better.
[MARY and SHELLEY exit.]
Gaignun: Now then.
Helmer: I assume you brought the 100-Series Prototype?
Gaignun: It wasn't easy. Especially considering the fact that I didn't really do anything to help. But yes.
[MOMO enters.]
MOMO: hi
Helmer: Hello. MOMO, you're going to be examined at the UMN Control Center later.
MOMO: kay
[MOMO exits.]
Helmer: Also, Nigredo-
Gaignun: My name is really just Gaignun.
Helmer: -I need something else from you.
Gaignun: Is it going to create more questions than it answers?
Helmer: Big time.
Gaignun: Then I am in.
[GAIGNUN steps outside.]
Gaignun's mind: Albedo.
Albedo's mind: Well, well, if it isn't Nigredo!
Gaignun's mind: ...my name is really just gaignun.
Albedo's mind: What can I do for you, Nigredo?
Gaignun's mind: Oh, nothing, just confirming you're alive. I'm disappointed to learn that, yep, you still are.
Albedo's mind: I'm doing quite well! You, on the other hand... Are you sure you're not just hanging around Rubedo to carry out your duty as executioner?
Gaignun's mind: ...Executioner this.
[GAIGNUN blows off ALBEDO's arm.]
Albedo's mind: ...That was uncalled for. Hanging up now, but one last thing: I'll be borrowing Rubedo soon. Hope you don't mind.
Gaignun's mind: Wait!
[ALBEDO ends the telepathic communication.]
Gaignun: ...Fucking hate that guy.
[Back to SHION, JUNIOR, et al.]
Shion: So you dropped off MOMO already?
Jr.: Yeah. How about you and KOS-MOS?
Shion: ...Allen's taking care of it from now on.
chaos: you seem unhappy. is something wrong?
Shion's mind: ..................
Shion: ...you know. just... parting. it is always hard.
Shion's mind: SO MUCH HATE
Jr.: I don't get it.
chaos: well, imagine if you had to give up your kahles scope?
Jr.: Oh man, my heart and wallet would both grieve!
Shion: I don't think that's comparable. I mean, you're not in a whole unresolved romantic subtext situation with your Kahles scope.
Jr.: ...
Shion: ...god, I hope you're not in a whole unresolved romantic subtext situation with your Kahles scope.
Jr.: ...
Shion: ...
Jr.: don't judge me.
[JIN enters. SHION hides in the corner.]
Jr.: ...what are you-
[SHION gestures wildly.]
Jr.: Okay, I've got this. Three words... First word, one syllable... Second word, also one syllable... Third word, also one syllable. Third word... uh... a megaphone? No... A vuvuzela? Oh, man, I give up.
Shion: NOT SO LOUD
Jr.: ...You couldn't just use the universally recognized "shush" gesture? You had to play Charades?
Shion: I AM A SCIENTIST
Jr.: SCIENTISTS DON'T PLAY CHARADES
Shion: I- ...wait, really?
Shion: I've been going about this all wrong, then.
[JIN notices her.]
Shion: ...Err. Long time no see... Jin.
[After introducing himself to chaos for some reason despite already knowing him, JIN joins the group at the table.]
Jin: So you're both with Shion now? Tell me, has my foolish sister been causing you problems?
Jr.: If by "problems" you mean "she makes our lives a thousand times harder" then yes.
Jin: Is that all? You know, you don't have to be nice just because she's here.
Jr.: oh thank god. in that case? you don't know the half of it.
Jr.: You haven't even seen the kind of shit she gets into.
Shion: can we please not talk about this.
Jin: Hmm, seems I'm not welcome here.
Shion: Well, all you do is belittle me. People like that are so annoying.
Jin: You're describing yourself.
Shion: All you do is point out people's flaws while exhibiting similar or worse flaws yourself!
Jin: THAT'S YOU!
Jr.: I am so glad I came to this cafe today.
Jin: Anyway, are you going to be around for a while?
Shion: No, the return trip is tonight, sorry.
Jr.: But I thought you said-
[SHION kicks JUNIOR in the leg.]
Jr.: Dah!
Shion: AHAHAHA
Shion: He is confused.
Shion: Do not listen to him.
[SHION gets a call. It is ALLEN.]
Allen: Chief, this thing is gonna take a while. We'll be here for days, so feel free to take it easy.
Shion: ...............................
[SHION kicks JUNIOR in the other leg.]
Jr.: DAH!
Jr.: GODDAMMIT
Jr.: Why did you kick ME?!
Shion: Thank you, Allen.
Allen: Chief? Everything okay?
Shion's mind: I HATE EVERYBODY
Shion: ...
Shion: Your timing is comical. That is all. Thank you again, Allen.
[SHION hangs up.]
Jin: ...So...
Shion: Fine. I'll come back home.
Jin: Excellent! Would you two like to join us?
chaos: well, i feel like we'd just be intrud-
[JUNIOR kicks chaos in the leg.]
chaos: dah!
Jr.: We wouldn't miss it for the world!
chaos: but-
[JUNIOR kicks chaos in the leg again.]
chaos: goddammit, isn't anyone around here civil?!
Jr.: I would not miss this. For the world.
Jin: Then it's decided!
[They head to the UZUKI RESIDENCE.]
Jr.: This house
Jr.: is made
Jr.: OF WOOD
Jr.: OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
Shion: Jin why is there a bookstore here now.
Jin: Well, I-
Shion: See because I heard that you had become a doctor
Shion: but I don't see any reason a doctor would have a bookstore
Shion: So I know that I must be imagining this bookstore being here, right?
Jin: Nope!
Shion: ...
Shion: i see.
Jin: Doctors are pointless nowadays. I figured I might as well do what I enjoy, and maybe make a few bucks on the side.
Shion: You will never, ever, ever make any money doing this. Nobody wants books these days.
Jr.: I'LL TAKE THIS
Jr.: AND THIS
Jr.: AND THIS
Jr.: AND THAT
Jr.: AND THIS
Jr.: AND THAT
Jr.: AND THIS
Jr.: AND THESE
Jr.: AND ALL THOSE
Jin: That'll be 26 billion credits.
Jr.: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
Shion: ..........
Shion's mind: ...........
Shion: ..........
Shion's mind: Well, you can stick around, but I'm done here.
Shion: ..........
Jin: Shion, are you okay?
Shion: ..........
[Cut to the baddies.]
Sellers: I blew up the Pleroma. Just 'cause.
Margulis: Okay.
Pellegri: I'm here too.
Margulis: Albedo's going to break the seal on Old Miltia. When that happens, you and Richard and Hermann better not fail me again, Pellegri.
Pellegri: But failure is basically all we do!
[Back to SHION.]
Jin: You're saying you want to help them? You're not an agent provocateur or highly skilled assassin. You're a metaphysical biologist who barely even earned the distinction of your PhD-
Shion: I've already made a difference! Tell him, Jr.
Jr.: Technically, she's not wrong.
Jin: I see. Well, you've got time to think about it. By the way, while you're here, you should visit our parents' graves.
Shion: No, that's not gonna happen, we've talked about this before.
Jin: But-
Shion: NO. They're not even in those graves, and besides, if you had shown up earlier they'd still be... I mean, uh...
Jin: ...
Shion: ...Welp, as usual when I clue on to myself being slightly more of a bitch than usual, I'm just going to make a quick retreat now.
[SHION storms out.]
Jr.: ...Welp, we'd better be leaving to. This wasn't nearly as hilarious as I expected it to be.
Jin: Sorry about all that.
Jr.: Nah, it's not your fault. It is Shion's fault though.
chaos: would you mind if i stayed here tonight so that we could talk about plot-related things?
Jin: ...are you coming on to me?
chaos: ......maybe?
[JUNIOR exits. Cut to nighttime. JIN is sitting outside. A few moths dance around a candlelight. It is very peaceful, until he is joined by chaos. Try not to think about the implications of this vis-a-vis Cliche #125. Unless you're into that.]
chaos: trouble sleeping?
Jin: I suppose.
chaos: is it shion?
Jin: That's part of it.
chaos: ...jin, i need to ask you. are you still with u-tic?
Jin: ...Oh, is THAT what was the whole opening sequence was about? I totally didn't catch that.
chaos: it really wasn't very clear.
Jin: Anyway, no, I'm not, though fate won't let me forget about it. Humanity... we keep searching for guiding lights, and when we find one, we won't let it go. We're like moths, so drawn towards that which will eventually destroy us.
chaos: She burned for two hours without changing, without swaying or kneeling - only glowing within, like a building fire glimpsed through silhouetted walls, like a hollow saint, like a flame-faced virgin gone to God, while I read by her light, kindled, while Rimbaud in Paris burnt out his brain in a thousand poems, while night pooled wetly at my feet. ...Eh, Jin?
Jin: .......
chaos: nobody beats me in a symbolism-off. nobody.
[JIN shooes the moth away from the candle.]
Jin: I know Shion is pretty much the worst person ever, but please, take care of her for me. I'd do it myself but, you know, there's that whole hedgehog's dilemma thing.
chaos: i suppose i don't have a choice. though if you ask me, shion seems to like you a whole hell of a lot more than she likes any of us. i mean, the worst thing she says about you is that you're "no-good".
Jin: Wow. Coming from Shion, that's high honors.
chaos: yes.
Jin: It's strange. I feel like I can talk to you about anything, chaos. Like you're really 700 years old.
chaos: ahahahaha nervous laughter ahahahaha. no really, i'm just pretty chill about everything. it pisses jr. off too, which is wonderful. [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Xenosaga Episode II, click to show][Cut to morning. chaos is departing for the UMN CONTROL CENTER, and is seen off by SHION.]
chaos: ...shion what are you wearing?
Shion: Does it look bad on me?
chaos: ...define "bad".
Shion: Worse than my uniform?
chaos: ...define "worse".
Shion: Am I more attractive now?
chaos: ......define "more".
Shion: Forget it.
chaos' mind: oh thank god
[chaos exits the UZUKI RESIDENCE for the UMN CONTROL CENTER. Meanwhile, JUNIOR, MOMO, ZIGGY, and GAIGNUN are already there.]
Jr.: ...MOMO what are you wearing.
MOMO: A beret!
Jr.: ......I can see that.
MOMO: Then why did you ask?
Jr.: ...You know what? I'm just going to let this slide.
[JULI MIZRAHI enters.]
Juli: I'd like to thank you all for your assistance with the Proto Merkabah incident.
Jr.: By "assistance you mean "doing everything", right?
Juli: ........yes.
Jr.: You're welcome.
Jr.: Everybody gets one.
Ziggy: ...You know, MOMO helped us out a lot.
Jr.: I don't think she was even in our party for th-
[ZIGGY kicks JR. in the leg.]
Jr.: GODDAMMIT
Ziggy: As I was saying.
Juli: ...I see. Thank you for your help, MOMO.
MOMO: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Juli: you see why I don't do this, Sauer?
Ziggy: if you did it more often she wouldn't react like this!
MOMO: -EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
Juli: MOMO?
MOMO: EEEEEEEEEEyes?
Juli: After things settle down, it would be nice if we could live together.
MOMO: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee
[MOMO collapses from happiness overload.]
Juli: sigh
[chaos shows up at the UMN CONTROL CENTER and starts looking around. Meanwhile...]
Jr.: Why were you acting nice to MOMO all of a sudden?
Juli: Did it seem unnatural?
Jr.: More like out of character, though that doesn't necessarily mean you were faking. It could have just been this game changing-
Juli: I was faking so the experiment will proceed smoothly.
Jr.: "oh"
Juli: Joachim created that Realian to respond to familial warmth, so...
Jr.: Well, you've been doing a bang-up job in that regard so far.
Juli: ...
Jr.: Now me? I made a promise to Sakura to look after her mother and sister. Which is probably the only reason I haven't shot you yet, no offense.
Juli: None taken, I get that a lot.
Jr.: So I'm going to treat MOMO like a real girl. Admittedly, statements like that make it clear that I really don't think of her as a real girl at all, but uh... You know, I lost my train of thought.
[chaos enters; JULI leaves.]
chaos: am i interrupting anything?
Jr.: Yes, actually, it may have looked like we were just talking, but actually we were having sex.
chaos: ...
Jr.: Anyway, how's Shion?
chaos: you're concerned?
Jr.: I'm really just hoping she pushed Jin too far and he stabbed her a couple times.
chaos: not yet.
Jr.: Dammit.
chaos: that family does have issues, though.
Jr.: Comparatively speaking, they really don't.
[chaos and JUNIOR go to check up on ZIGGY, who is receiving maintenance.]
Ziggy: ...Dr. Mizrahi? Why are you-
Juli: MOMO asked me to do it.
Ziggy: I'd prefer-
Juli: I'm not a young woman, just get over it.
Ziggy: -someone who isn't a bitch.
Juli: ...Ah, I see. Well, deal with it.
Ziggy: Why, exactly, do you have so much trouble connecting to MOMO?
Juli: Could you love someone who looked like your daughter, but wasn't?
Ziggy: Yes.
Juli: ...
Ziggy: ...
Juli: ...Really?
Ziggy: Um, yes. I'm pretty sure if I had an adopted daughter, I'd love her regardless of what she looked like, because I'm a well-adjusted individual.
Juli: Do you have any children?
Ziggy: A son. I lost him... in an accident.
Juli: Is that why you committed suicide?
Ziggy: ...yes.
Juli: Well-adjusted, huh, Mr. Sauer?
Ziggy: Relatively speaking, Dr. Mizrahi.
Juli: Maybe I should have committed suicide too.
Ziggy: Yeah, it worked out so well for me.
Juli: ...
Ziggy: Anyway. Just pretend you have two daughters and stop treating MOMO like she isn't her own person. It's really not that hard.
Juli: ...You overestimate my abilities.
Ziggy: Probably, but give it a shot, at least.
[JULI exits.]
Ziggy: Gee, I sure am glad that moron Jr. isn't eavesdropping on me.
[JUNIOR and chaos enter.]
Jr.: Fuck you.
Ziggy: You've got to stop doing that.
Jr.: It's not like we were trying to.
Ziggy: ...
Jr.: Well, it's not like chaos was trying to.
chaos: i actually asked him to stop.
Ziggy: Thank you, chaos.
chaos: you're welcome.
[They head to the analysis room.]
100-Series Realian: Okay, for this test we'll be disabling your personality.
MOMO: kay
MOMO: ...Wait, wha-
[MOMO goes into a comatose state.]
Mary: This really seems kind of evil, doesn't it?
Shelley: You know, I'd think there'd be a better way to do this.
Jr.: ...I can't watch this.
[JUNIOR exits.]
100-Series Realian: Proceeding smoothly.
Researcher: No problems here.
Juli: ...
MOMO: It's...
Ziggy: What? What's she trying to say?
MOMO: ...quiet... too... quiet...
Juli: !!
Ziggy: Oh dear.
MOMO: Be... careful... it's... a... trap!
[Various alarms start blaring. The 100-SERIES REALIANs start deactivating.]
Researcher: This is just like that time we downloaded the file sent to us by that Ariadnean prince!
Juli: If the Y-Data is taken, then... it'll fuckin' suck.
Ziggy: What are you doing?
Juli: I need to delete MOMO's brain!
Ziggy: But she needs her brain! It's her brain!
[Despite that, JULI can't bring herself to push the glowing red danger button.]
Juli: ...You know, I'm surprised by this as well.
[...But then it happens anyway!]
Juli: What? I didn't even do anything! This isn't fair at all!
MOMO: I'm... sorry...
[ALBEDO appears on the screens.]
Albedo: How are you gentlemen! And ladies! And cyborg!
Gaignun: Albedo?!
Ziggy: Who else would it have been?
Albedo: Did you enjoy my present?
Gaignun: I hope you included a gift receipt, to be quite honest.
Albedo: Ooh, rude. Ma peche sacrificed herself to stop me... this time. That won't happen every time, though~
Gaignun: ...Wait, how many times are you going to do this?
Albedo: HA HA HA HA!!
[ALBEDO exits. JULI starts trying to save MOMO's life.]
Juli: I'm a doctor! I WON'T LOSE THIS PATIENT!
Ziggy: You're not even that kind of doctor!
Juli: Eh.
[Help is requested from VECTOR's THIRD DIVISION.]
Shion: I'm in First Division. That's like Third Division. Be right there!
Allen: Chief-
Shion: Okay, let me speed this along. "Chief, this is the same crap you always do." "Yes it is." "Can I talk you out of it?" "No." "blah blah blah try anyway." "Shut up Allen." "NEVER." "Okay I'm just leaving now." "Fine, I'll come with you."
Allen: ...But-
Shion: Okay I'm just leaving now.
Allen: Fine, I'll come with you.
[Anyway, the UNITED NATIONS are proving themselves easily manipulated.]
THE POPE: Blatant lies and propaganda.
Representative #3: I LIKE THE WAY THAT MAN THINKS
Representative #2: WHY ISN'T REPRESENTATIVE HELMER HERE TO GIVE HIS OPINION ON THIS
[At the UZUKI RESIDENCE.]
Helmer: Jin, I need your help recovering the data you gave to Canaan.
Jin: I just sell used books now.
Helmer: Or do you?
Jin: ...Touche. Okay, count me in.
[Back at the UMN CONTROL CENTER.]
Jr.: Shion? What are you doing here?
Shion: What, do you not consider us reliable?
Jr.: Well, I don't know about Allen, but I definitely think you're the last person in the world I'd ask for help.
Shion: Well-
Jr.: No, you don't understand.
Jr.: I would literally go to Albedo for help first.
[SHION decides that they haven't dicked around enough yet while MOMO's life is in danger, and decides to delve into JUNIOR's backstory.]
Shion: So what exactly is U-DO, anyway?
Jr.: Who do?
Shion: Shut the fuck up.
Jr.: Geez, sorry.
Shion: If we do that joke even one more goddamn time...
Jr.: I said I was sorry!
Shion: IT WASN'T EVEN FUNNY THE FIRST TIME.
Jr.: God, okay, can we please move on?!
chaos: please continue, jr.
Jr.: ...U-DO isn't an AI.
Shion: It's also not a cat.
Ziggy: Or a horse!
chaos: or a woodshed!
Jr.: Okay, so nobody here thought it was an AI, then...
Shion: Nobody anywhere ever thought anything like that.
Jr.: This flashback should clear some things up.
[Enter flashback! RUBEDO, ALBEDO, and NIGREDO, as well as numerous generic URTVs, are gathered in a circle.]
Albedo: I'm scared, Rubedo!
Rubedo: You'll be fine. Under my leadership. Okay, open spiritual link!
[They do. U-DO appears.]
Rubedo: I'm severing the spiritual link.
Gaignun: But that's-
Rubedo: SHUT UP I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. I think. When the waves hit us, the anti-particle collision will be converted to thermal energy!
Albedo: ...Which means-
Rubedo: Nothing good! And Dad knew everything! That bastard!
Albedo: Rubedo, don't let go!
Rubedo: I'M GOING TO SAVE OUR LIVES or do whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish EVEN IF IT KILLS US
[It kills them.]
Rubedo: ...welp.
[Except for NIGREDO, RUBEDO, and ALBEDO, who emerge unscathed.]
Albedo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[Well, sort of unscathed.]
Ziggy: You realize that we can't see YOUR flashbacks, right?
Jr.: ...Oh, right. Well, it's an energy from a higher dimension.
Shion: Like a plot device?
Jr.: ......I'm trying not to be impressed by that analogy. Anyway, it's ironic that we URTVs are its anti-existence-
Shion: Except for Albedo.
Jr.: -yet we were never even told what it was.
Ziggy: I think that's par for the course for soldiers, actually.
Shion: Sounds right to me.
chaos: i'm not surprised.
Jr.: You know what? We're done talking about this. Allen! Hit it.
Allen: Sure thing. By the way, I'm going to download KOS-MOS' data directly into the Encephalon. I'm sure you'll feel more secure with her there.
Allen's mind: ...Given that she is the only competent member of the entire group.
[ALLEN zaps them into the ENCEPHALON. KOS-MOS gets reconstructed. They end up just outside a small, white house in the middle of nowhere.]
KOS-MOS: ...Allen. Conference.
KOS-MOS: I don't recall agreeing to babysit.
Allen: What? Yes you did. You totally did.
[Flashback.]
Allen: KOS-MOS, Shion is insisting on going to help Jr. with the whole MOMO situation even though she's not even qualified to do her own job, much less someone else's. Can you, you know, babysit her?
KOS-MOS: ...What possible reason would I have to agree to this?
Allen: Well, it'll piss Shion off.
KOS-MOS: Sold.
[End flashback.]
KOS-MOS: ...I regret agreeing now that I have remembered that Shion is Shion.
Shion: KOS-MOS, what are you wearing?
KOS-MOS: ...A swimsuit.
Shion: Take that off right now.
KOS-MOS: ...Shion we have company-
Shion: NOT WHAT I MEANT KOS-MOS. Why are you even wearing that, anyway?
KOS-MOS: It affects my capabilities in the following areas: Agility, up 1; Skill Points, up 10%; damage received, up 15%; external appearance, up 5%.
Shion: ...You're saying that you get more powerful the less clothes you wear.
Jr.: Can we please talk about this later?
Shion: Okay, fine. Sell me on this quest being more interesting than the implications of a super-powerful naked android.
Allen: Well, because our dive target is MOMO's subconscious, you'll be experiencing the memories of Sakura Mizrahi and the people connected to her...
Jr.: Which would be me, this time.
Shion: ...Wait, we're not even going to end up inside a trippy version of my past that was theoretically supposed to develop me as a character at some point during this whole thing?
Jr.: Nope.
Shion: Screw this, I'm outta here.
chaos: if you say so.
Ziggy: Good.
Jr.: Let the door hit you on the way out.
Shion: I think you mean, "don't let the door hit you on the way out."
Jr.: I know what I meant.
KOS-MOS: In that case, I will be leaving too.
Jr.: ...
Ziggy: ...
chaos: ...
Jr.: You know, on second thought-
chaos: we'd be happy to have your assistance, shion
Ziggy: I'm prepared to make that sacrifice.
Ziggy: ...
Ziggy: Dammit, you guys.
chaos: reason before honor, ziggy.
Jr.: Sorry, old man.
Ziggy: No you're not!
Jr.: He's right, I'm really not.
[The party notices that MOMO is sitting in a chair on the house's porch.]
Jr.: Easiest mission ever. C'mon MOMO, let's go.
Shion: No, her consciousness was shattered by Albedo or something, I dunno, point is we need to do like two dungeons first. Plus or minus 80 cutscenes.
Jr.: So... what, she's just comatose until then?
Shion: Not quite. She can still participate in battles and, every fiftieth cutscene or so, will say something of little importance.
Jr.: Oh.
Jr.: So she's like chaos in the first game, then.
Shion: Exactly.
chaos: hate you guys.
[MOMO joins the party. They go through the house until they reach SAKURA's room.] [/spoiler]
---
"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic