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they are never hard
they are the most obvious questions in the entire world
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"A man chooses. A slave obeys." -Andrew Ryan, Bioshock
Editor
And there's that one question at the end of chapter 2 that I always miss!
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Hotel Dusk: Room 215, click to show]Chapter 6
9:00 ~ 10:00 PM
The phone rings. It's Rachel, and she puts us through to Ed. Big summary happens. Ed says he'll give Hyde one night to sort everything out here, and then it's time to head back. He also says that he may need Hyde to deliver the items he found to the client directly. We'll find out later, in any case.
With that call over, it's time to head to the bar! Louie's the bartender. Hyde orders a bourbon, takes a sip, and... OH GOD IT'S THE SMILE AGAIN
Louie: Been forever since I seen a cat make a drink look that good!
Okay, so apparently, Louie did some digging and found out that the day Bradley/the other Kyle Hyde stayed here, he and Rosa both had the day off. So they didn't see him. But Louie has a picture of J/Bradley, so he's going to ask Dunning if it's the same guy. Awesome. Now we're making progress. Louie also mentions that there's a jukebox here - it plays the game's music, nice touch - and that apparently he makes the hotel's matches. That's pretty awesome. I wish I could make matches. <_<
Helen walks in and orders a gimlet (half lime juice, half gin - sounds good, right?), and I take the chance to explore a bit. I set the jukebox to play "Violet Sky" aka the awesome music, and find a sticker:
+22
I examine some of Louie's matches, and see that there's a puzzle involved. Let me see if I can recreate this for you:
._
|_|_
|_|_|
|_|_|
...|_|
The puzzle: Create three boxes by removing four matches.
The solution:
._
|_|_
|....|
|_ _|
...|_|
Yep, it's just that easy. (Sorry these look terrible; they'd look a lot better if TFN didn't remove extra spaces.)
Anyway, Hyde talks to Helen. She mentions something about her past, but doesn't want to get into details. She also orders another drink for Hyde, and offers to play a game while they're waiting. Hyde agrees, but if he wins, she has to talk about her past. The game is this: there are six coins arranged like so:
..O
..O
OOO
..O
Hyde has to reorder them so that the coins form four in a row both vertically and horizontally. But the catch is that he can only move one coin.
...I actually figured out the answer to this immediately, but determined that it was cheating, and kept trying. Eventually, I had to actually grab six coins and work with it in real life - at which point I determined that my initial hunch was correct.
..O
OOO
..O
Bold = there's a coin on top of another coin
I still say this is cheating/not a real solution.
Anyway, Helen says that she's been coming to this hotel once a decade for thirty years. She also used to live in Las Vegas and work as a magician, of all things. But at that point, Louie shows up with Hyde's drink, and Helen excuses herself. She asks for Louie to help her back to her room, which leaves Hyde all alone in the bar.
Hyde sits down to his drink, when suddenly Iris walks in! Hyde explains about the bartender stepping out, and Iris asks if Hyde would like to have a drink with her.
Choices: No thanks. / No way!
XD
9:20 PM
Okay, NOW I'm going to drink my dri- AUGH WHAT NOW
Martin walks in!
Hyde: ...Summer. Don't you have a book to plagiarize or something?
Such an asshole. <_<
Martin basically says that he finds Hyde interesting and wants to talk to him some more. This triggers Iris chiming in.
Iris: Mr. Hyde? I'm finding that drinking alone is just as sad and pathetic as I thought it would be. I'll be leaving now. Do enjoy the remainder of your thrilling evening.
Verbally bitchslapped. Yikes. >_>
Anyway, Martin lets slip that he's seen Iris before, but can't remember where. He's also deduced Hyde's true identity. Hyde is... an insurance agent trying to track down the stolen angel painting!
...
Close, but no cigar, pal. <_<
Martin eventually leaves, and Louie returns. Hyde leaves and runs into Rosa. Apparently the hotel was built twenty years ago. Wait... that can't be right? Then ten years ago, on the hotel's tenth anniversy, was when the ghost stories and rumors started. Rosa says they're all true. ...Then says she was kidding. Ha. Hilarious. -_- Anyway, she says I should ask Dunning if I want to know more about the hotel's history. He's in the restaurant, for whatever reason.
Can't get much outta him that we didn't already know, though. The place was built twenty years ago. It used to be a lot more popular; Dunning took over after it started failing hard. Ah well.
Back in the hallway, I run into Rosa. She convinces me to do an errand for her: delivering a wine label to Mrs. Parker in 212. 212 is Helen's room... wait a sec, Mrs. Parker?! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- COINCIDENCES
Apparently Helen was here ten years ago with someone - Rosa thinks it was her son - and ordered some wine, and tonight she ordered the same wine, and wanted to keep the label. Rosa says that she and Helen are a lot alike because they both have sons who live far away. Her boy lives in Manhattan. Not sure if this is just flavor or if it'll be important later. <_<
So yeah, three guests ordered wine tonight, and Rosa forgot which bottle was Helen's, so... augh, puzzle time, I guess.
9:40 PM
And I can't just take all three bottles, oh no, I have to ask the other two people who ordered wine about it. Augh. Luckily, there's one bottle of red, one of white, and one of rose, so it's not terribly complex or anything.
Iris had the rose, Martin had the white, which means Helen had the red. But the puzzle isn't solved yet, oh no. I need to get the adhesive remover from the box in my room and use it to get the wine label off. ugh. obnoxious.
Anyway, eventually I get the label and give it to Helen. It's time to break her Psychelocks! I especially like this one because midway through, you leave her room and basically yell at Martin until he returns the fountain pen, then you just ditch him and go back to Helen. It's amazing. The short of it is:
-Helen married and had one son, but abandoned him to return to the stage.
-They met by chance at the grand opening of the Hotel Dusk. (This explains the "three visits, once per decade"/"opened twenty years ago" confusion.)
-They met again ten years later and she gave him the pen.
-In the time between then and now, the entire Martin/Alan subplot happened, and Martin came into possession of the pen.
-Now Helen is back, hoping to find her son. Helen says that she's sure Alan would forgive Martin, because he forgave her. Hyde says that he learned from Martin that this hotel holds some of Alan's most treasured memories, making Helen quite happy.
Another hour, another quiz... Got everything right. Yep.
Chapter 7
10:00 ~ 11:00 PM
Heading back to the bar. om nom nom nom delicious liquor
Hyde and Louie get to talking. Turns out, the third time Hyde busted Louie back in New York, he told him a story about his dad. Hyde's dad was some crazy amazing safecracker, but one day he decided to go straight, after doing just one last gig. Gets killed on that gig, never got a chance to make an honest living. Apparently that story really got to Louie, and it's the reason he's taking bartending so seriously. Oh, and the other thing he's passionate about? Bowling. Which Hyde is also good at. Apparently he's got some makeshift bowling alley set up in the bar or something, because he tells Hyde to meet him here at 11.
At this point, Martin enters. Hyde tells him about Helen, and Martin says that Iris bares a remarkable resemblence to Cecily Lee. You'll recall that she was on the cover of that magazine we picked up many chapters ago? Anyway, Hyde excuses himself, and finds Melissa outside. They get to talking. Her dad's missing again.
Melissa: My dad's a jerk!
Hyde: Can't argue with that.
Hyde eventually convinces her to go wait for her dad in her room.
10:20 PM
I run into Rosa. She's wondering why Melissa is so bummed out. Hyde explains that she didn't get a Christmas tree or any presents this year (this came up a minute ago, but back then I just thought it was flavor, so I'm mentioning it now that I know it's important). Rosa says that it's a shame - the hotel does put out a Christmas tree, but it's taken down and put in the first floor storage room on the 26th, and today is the 28th.
Hyde immediately heads for the storage room, noting what a softie he's become. Just as he pulls the tree out of its cardboard prison (which requires a minigame/puzzle), Melissa shows up. They decorate the tree together. Melissa is very pleased. d'awwwww
Soon, Mila shows up, followed by Louie. Apparently Rosa sent both Mila and Melissa this way, having predicted what Hyde would do. Then Louie decided to follow because, hey, holiday shindig. 'Nuff said.
...Melissa falls asleep. Ha. Some party. Hyde convinces Louie to take her back to her room. Time to get some more answers out of Mila. Her fever's gone, thankfully. Hyde asks her who she spent Christmas with; she writes the answer in his notebook.
Hyde: "I have no one"? ...Creepy.
Hey, you asked! Next, he asks where her father is, and gets the response "Where is dad now?" Huh? I guess she doesn't know? Still, weird answer. He asks where her dad lives and works, she writes "Santa Monica" and "Gallery May". Apparently her dad owns an art gallery. More coincidences. 1000 shrines says it's the same art gallery Melissa's mom works at.
Before Hyde can get anymore answers, Rosa shows up to take Mila back to her room. Dammit. Heading back into the hallway, Hyde notices that the door to Dunning's room is open.
...This is a terrible idea but I guess we're headed inside. Examining a photograph of a young girl triggers Dunning's return. He shooes Hyde out immediately and I'm amazed I don't get a game over.
10:40 PM
I'm not quite sure where to go but heading into the lobby triggers a scene with Kevin Woodward aka Jerk Sr. He is drunk as fuck and walking around mumbling about how he needs to invent the internet so he can inform them. Hyde says Melissa was looking for him, but he says Melissa hates him. Then he retreats to the front desk, saying he doesn't want company. Hyde decides to investigate who he was drinking with. Along the way, I find:
+78
So...
11 + -38 + -10 + 14 + -17 + 22 + 78 is intergalactically known as: 60. Unless I did my math wrong. I don't know if this is some optional question or a required thing, but either way, I need to get change from the front desk before I can complete it, and I can't do that right now. So yeah.
I find Iris in the bar. Big surprise there. She quickly excuses herself. I chat up Louie. He has no idea who the girl in Dunning's photo is, but he does reveal that Jerk Sr. and Iris were drinking together. Louie says he overheard Jerk Sr. mention something about a Gallery May in Santa Monica.
Hands up if you're- no, never mind, I'm not even gonna joke about that.
Hyde fills Louie in on what he learned from Mila, and decides to go have a chat with Iris and Jerk Sr., in that order. Iris is in her room - she says that an associate of hers works at the gallery. She mentioned it in casual conversation, at which point Jerk Sr. revealed that he knew of the gallery already.
Iris invites me in, saying that she's got a problem that requires Inspector Hyde's unique brand of puzzling out! She says that someone was in her room; she can tell because her suitcase was moved. And something was stolen.
Hyde: You contact the front desk? I hear Dunning has experience with this kind of thing.
XD
Hyde says he might help her maybe, causing her to reveal that a small envelope was stolen.
Hyde: So what was in this small envelope? A small letter?
yessssss
But seriously, she can't say. She apparently made a promise not to. Very odd. She says it was given to her by a friend named Grace. That's all she's saying. Hyde says he'll look into it because he figures it's relevant to the larger plot arc.
We run into Jerk Sr. upstairs, but he quickly retreats back to the front desk. We follow and question him. Psychelock destruction time!
-Turns out his wife used to work at the Gallery May. Yep.
-Kevin and Iris just met. But Iris knew Grace beforehand.
-Kevin never worked at Gallery May. His wife worked there seven years ago. When Melissa was born, she quit, but eventually returned to work at an art museum.
-Grace = Melissa's mother
-Okay, we manage to break enough Psychelocks to make Kevin tell the whole story. Basically, he did everything right but lost a patient and was sued for malpractice. He didn't have the money, but felt it was his mistake, so he tried to divorce Grace so it wouldn't burden her. She refused, and managed to raise the money somehow.
...But he didn't trust her. It was a lot of money, apparently, and she would never tell him how she got it. From that point, they just fought about everything until she finally left.
Now he's here at the Hotel Dusk because he found a matchbook from this place among her belongings. He thought he might be able to find a clue here, to lead him back to Grace.
Hyde says that Melissa's counting on him, so he needs to pull himself together for her sake. Then the chapter just... ends abruptly, like in mid-conversation. It's sorta weird.
Another chapter, another end of chapter quiz. All questions answered successfully.
Chapter 8
11:00 ~ 12:00 AM
Chapter starts with another call from Rachel. Some chit-chat but nothing important. Hyde asks Ed to dig up some info on Gallery May and Robert Evans.
In the hallway, Hyde hears a door at the end of the hall close. Inside the utility closet, he finds an unwound cassette tape and a crumpled up envelope, adressed to Iris. But uh... I don't understand how he didn't see whoever did this leaving the hall, or find them in the room. But whatever.
Down in the bar, Hyde asks Louie if there's a tape deck somewhere around here. Louie volunteers use of the one in his room. Says Dunning wanted it tonight too. Hmm.
In Louie's room. Can't play an unwound tape. I try to use a nearby ballpoint pen to rewind it, but it doesn't work. I need to go back to my room and get a pencil. I'm not sure if cassette tapes and VHS tapes work differently, but I know for the latter, you can rewind them by hand, so this all seems sorta contrived to me. Ah well.
Side A has irrelevant music. Side B has... a rather cryptic conversation that I personally can't make heads or tails of. Louie enters; Hyde says it's time for him to get the truth outta Iris. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-There was a plan. About six months ago, Grace sent Iris the tape. If Iris didn't hear from Grace by Christmas, she was supposed to bring the tape to this hotel.
-She was supposed to give the tape to "the man who painted the angel".
-Iris is Grace's younger sister. This explains why she recognized Melissa's doll.
-Iris has been looking for Grace ever since she vanished. As far as Iris knew, Grace was happily married. She didn't know about Kevin being sued and Grace raising the money and all that.
-Big sob story. Iris' mom was a loser who jumped from man to man. She died in a plane crash; the airline gave Grace and Iris a large sum of money, but their mom's current boyfriend took it all, stashed Iris and Grace in separate orphanages, and split.
-The note that Grace sent to Iris confirms that she did something terrible/illegal to acquire the money. Hmm.
That about wraps up Hyde's convo with Iris. He determines that if he finds "the man who paints angels" at this hotel, he'll find Grace as well... and maybe that'll lead him to Bradley.
11:20 PM
Hyde heads back to Louie's room and fills him in. Louie's going to check out the guest registry to see if a Grace Woodward ever stayed here. But first!
BOWLING FIGHT:
LOUIS DENONNO
Oh god these controls are terrible. And it doesn't help that they're also unintuitive. You don't throw the ball so much as you draw a course for it. Very strange.
I retry several times and the best result I can manage is Tie/Lose/Inconclusive for the three rounds. Inconclusive is because, during Louie's roll in round three, he accidentally breaks a potted plant and causes Rosa to appear. But before that happens, Hyde spies an old key in the broken planter. How odd.
Anyway, Rosa says that Mila has gone missing, and she's acting a bit suspicious about the whole matter. Louie's going to search the first floor while Hyde takes floor 2. Also, Louie's going to hang onto the key and see if he can determine what it goes to.
My first guess is the roof, and hey! I am just too smart. She's there.
Hyde asks her why she's up here. Apparently Rosa asked who she was looking for. Further questioning reveals that Mila never told Rosa she was looking for anyone. Huh? Intriguing. And then - and this is the best part - Rosa tells Mila that she knows her father. What.
Hyde says that it's cold up here and that Rosa will kill him if she gets a cold, so he's taking her back to Rosa's room. Mila agrees.
You got Mila!
Is this your big chance?
11:40 PM [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Time for a Q&A about Mila. Hyde drags some [ ? ] questions out of her, so it's time to get to work!
-...Okay, this is an easy one. Basically, all it comes down to is: Dunning has a missing daughter that he's super secretive about. Dunning stayed at this hotel once a long time ago, before buying it. Mila had a very old brochure, from the same time frame as Dunning's stay. Thus, Rosa, being savvy to this game's love of coincidences, concluded that Dunning was Mila's father.
...
WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!
So yeah, she screwed up, big time. Gotta leave the protagonisting to the protagonists, lady!
Hyde says he'll find Mila's father, but first he needs to know if this hotel has any angel paintings. Rosa says, nope, just apples. My predix? It's the apple painting in the room named "Angel".
Heading back upstairs, Hyde gets a page. He gives Ed a ring-a-ding. Ed dug up some info on Gallery May; apparently it closed seven years ago. And Evans disappeared at the same time. Seven is an auspicious number,
Ed also looked up Evans' family. His wife Mary died in a plane crash in 1960 (same plane crash Iris' mom died in?). He had one daughter, named Mila. At least that part lines up.
Another chapter down, another end of chapter quiz down.
Chapter 9
12:00 ~ 2:00 AM
whoa two hour long chapter
So apparently Rosa said there were five apple paintings. I missed that, but Hyde caught it, so yay for him. Teamwork! Examining the painting in 215, I find the letter "Y" painted on it.
5 = Y
Into 217... The painting on the floor is of four apples.
4 = N
5 = Y
In the upstairs hallway is yet another picture...
2 = E
4 = N
5 = Y
Downstairs hallway...
2 = E
3 = N
4 = N
5 = Y
That's the last one I know the location of, and sure enough, Hyde gains a [ ? ] question about the location of the fifth apple painting. In the lobby, he runs into Louie, who has been busy tracking down info of his own.
-Louie doesn't even know the location of the four paintings I already found. <_<
-The old key goes to the booze cellar.
-...And guest logs only go back one year, so we're SOL about Grace.
Well. One outta three ain't bad.
Louie says that he has to go man the bar, but that we should hit up the cellar sometime after 1. Then Dunning shows up and tells Louie to get back to work. Then he storms off. Very Dunning of him, that.
12:20 AM
Hyde goes off to ask Rosa about the paintings. She's much more useful. The last painting is in the "special room" - room 111, which you can access from the lobby and have probably been wondering about all game. Rosa says that she'll sneak the key away from Dunning and unlock it, then I can sneak in later. And Mila wants to come with!
...I don't know if this is an actual stealth segment or not, because I decided to take the long way around initially and never ran into any trouble. Ah well. Ounce of prevention and what not. In any case, into room 111, and then into the back room to examine the painting.
Surprise surprise, the last letter is "J", which means...
1 = J
2 = E
3 = N
4 = N
5 = Y
NOW ALL I HAVE TO DO IS PUT THE LETTERS IN ORDER
...
...........
This is going to take alllll of my brain power!
(Seriously though, even if you weren't keeping track of the number of apples in each painting, how many other combinations could there POSSIBLY be?)
"Jenny"... Hyde has heard that name before! It was on the birthday card in Dunning's office. Oooooh, that's right! I totally forgot about that. >_> See, Hyde and I, we make a great team. It's fantastic. Not like that Phoenix Wright guy, total freeloader.
Back into the main room... oh god girl on the floor. Goddammit. I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR TEN SECONDS MILA AND YOU GET NOTEBOOK'D. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T WEAR A BRACELET WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.
But yeah, Hyde has to perform CPR, which is another "close the DS" puzzle, except for some reason THIS ONE trips me up. AUGH. Mila wakes back up immediately and there's a (full color) scene of the two of them staring at each other for a moment.
Hyde: (...Wait a sec.)
Hyde: (Rosa's old and married, Helen's waaaay too old, Iris thinks I'm a dick, Melissa's like seven, and Rachel's too far away...)
Mila: ...
Hyde: Oh, what in the fuck?! YOU'RE my love interest?!
(It's not theft - it's an homage!)
And hey, amazing! Mila's voice has returned. You know I kinda thought she was just emo, not actually mute, but uh. Maybe being kinda sorta fake kissed made her not emo anymore? Hyde is ruggedly good looking enough for it to be believable! Well, as believable as the alternative, at least.
Anyway, pop quiz. Say you almost died and just had your voice miraculously return. What's the first thing you'd like to do? If you said "be interrogated", you'd be correct!
-Mila has been in this room before. She was playing with Jenny. She was waiting for her father, and then it went dark. This was ten years ago, when she was nine. (I'm calling bullshit on her being 19 now, by the way. That's just their excuse to keep all the sex scenes legal!)
-She apparently forgot how old she was, because she was "over there" for a long time?
-She lost her voice because she was scared and Jenny was calling out for help.
-Jenny was a friend Mila met here, but then a "strange man with a scary face" came and took her away.
-Mila's been looking for her father ever since she "woke up".
-"Over there" = Robbins Hospital
...That's about all we're getting out of Mila tonight. You know because HER HEART JUST STOPPED so maybe she needs, I dunno, a good night's sleep? Or, like, one of those... what're they called... emblempses? Ramblemances? ...Ambulances! That's it!
Rosa takes Mila back to her room, and as I leave, Kevin/Jerk Sr. shows up. He seems to have sobered up. He says he overheard everything, and recognized Mila's name. She was a patient at his hospital. Ha! I knew Robbins Hospital sounded familiar!
He says that they had no idea what was wrong with Mila, but that she was in a coma for almost ten years. It was six months ago that she finally came out of it. He also says that Mila's father came in to visit very, very frequently, like clockwork... but stopped coming just before Mila woke up.
Kevin says that he has also remembered something else vitally important to the plot. Mila had one other visitor: a man named Kyle Hyde. Because I'm dumb, however, I failed to pay attention to whether he visited her before or after she woke up. blargh
Anyway, that's all Kevin has to say, but Hyde gets a page as soon as he leaves. yay
12:40 AM
Hyde calls Ed up. No Rachel this time, it being 12:40 and all. He drops a bombshell: ten years ago, Robert Evans purchased Hotel Dusk. But he sold it seven years ago. To Dunning. Wait, I thought Dunning purchased it five years ago? Also, Ed says that Hotel Dusk was doing great until the moment Evans picked it up... as in, he shut it down on purpose, then dumped it off on Dunning. There's a knock at the door, so they wrap up their conversation with Ed telling Hyde to be careful.
It's Rosa. She says that Dunning found out that Mila could speak and dragged her away somewhere. Hyde runs off to Dunning's room. Louie meets him there, saying that he's here as backup. **** yeah! But then Hyde sends him off to investigate the wine cellar. Boo micromanagement!
Nobody's home at Dunning's room, but Hyde does find some interesting stuff. An old brochure, the same kind Mila was carrying. It has a map of the hotel; part of the wine cellar is circled. Interesting. There's also a newpaper clipping from seven years ago about Osterzone. Also, in his desk drawer, a bunch of birthday cards addressed to Jenny, though for some reason I didn't take any with me. In any case, I think it's time we investigate the wine cellar firsthand.
But as Hyde approaches the door to the wine cellar... POP QUIZ, HOTSHOT! This one is double-plus easy. <_<
Hyde enters the wine cellar and sees Louie unconscious on the floor. Unfortunately his cop instincts are a bit... lacking, so he just runs in and gets clobbered as well.
Chapter 10
2:00 AM ~
Whoa, ominous. That says "final chapter" to me, I dunno about you guys.
Rosa wakes Hyde and Louie up. They don't seem much worse for the wear, headaches aside. Mila is still missing.
Durrrrrr gee I wonder what the solution to this puzzle is guys, could it have something to do with the part of the wine cellar that's circled on the old brochure?
There's a box of whiskey bottles on the shelf. One is missing. You can find two half-full bottles on the room's other two shelves. Combine them into a full bottle and then place it in the box. Click. Now examine the shelf itself. It slides aside. Secret passage alert!
...
Man, that was literally the most obvious thing in the world. I know adventure games sometimes get trashed for having stupidly impossible puzzles, but I wouldn't mind these being just a BIT harder...
Hyde convinces Louie to stay behind. If he gets jumped (again), Louie's going to need to be the reinforcements.
Crazy good atmosphere down here. Good music and echoing footsteps... There's a very obvious "secret" door here that I can't interact with, so I'm heading in the real door.
...And I get locked in immediately. Fantastic. Hyde says the room is airtight, which means I've got a time limit for this next segment. Which is terrible, and I fail like... twice before I get it down. There's really not much room for error.
1. Take the sledgehammer and the book on Osterzone.
2. Inside the book on Osterzone is a photo of Dunning and Jenny. There's a date on the back: 5/18
3. Open a lock box. Combination is 518.
4. Take the letter from Robert Evans. It talks about how Dunning has one more task to complete, then he'll get Jenny back. There's some gibberish at the bottom.
5. Examine the book on household tips. Learn that pencil lead conducts electricity.
6. Examine the odd machine's plug to learn that it's not making enough contact.
7. Use your pencil on the file in the drawer to get graphite powder.
8. Use graphite powder on the plug to turn the machine on.
9. Use the letter on the machine to enter puzzle mode.
10. The machine can decode your gibberish, but it has many different "channels" and there's no way to know which one. Unfortunately, each attempts brings you closer to a game over. Obviously this is just a normal, shift-the-letters-over-by-X-spaces cipher. Luckily, that means we can just decode it by hand. ...See, this is sort of a clever puzzle, but it's really stupid if you think about it. You need to decode the message so you can solve the puzzle and decode the message. -_- Anyway, your big hint is the word "TKDDYDW". What can swap in for D in that word? Gee, I dunno... how about N? __NN_N_. So shift 10 spaces and bam: DUNNING. The full message, decoded, is: OSTERZONE IS DUNNING SMITH.
...
The fuck? I thought Osterzone was dead?
Anyway, this somehow triggers Louie rescuing Hyde. Rosa says that nobody came out through the wine cellar, so Dunning and Mila must still be somewhere down here.
...This actually stumped me completely and I had to check a FAQ. You need to walk around the edge of the room until Hyde accidentally knocks some bricks loose. It's very dumb, especially because you still can't interact with the INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS SECRET DOOR.
Apply hammer to wall... Bricks come loose! Secret door. Leads to a studio. There's a canvas covered in white paint. Scrape the paint off, it's Angel Opening a Door. yay. I'm not sure if paint works like that, but eh.
Back in the hallway, NOW I can interact with the secret door. In the secret room are Dunning and Mila. Hyde says it's time for Dunning to start talking.
The plot gets wrapped up. What's the story? Basically... Evans and Dunning both lost their wives in a plane crash. They created Osterzone, had Dunning paint some paintings, claimed they were the work of some lost artist, made a fortune. Evans fell in with Nile, Dunning wanted out. Nile came and took Jenny, Dunning's daughter. Evans said Dunning needed to keep painting and she'd be returned. This goes on for three years, at which point Dunning hangs it up for good, convinced that Jenny's never coming back.
Grace shows up one day. Convinces Dunning to do one more painting, Angel Opening a Door, or else she'll reveal his secret.
Three years ago. Bradley's sister Mila is taken by the Nile. Bradley gives them all the info the cops had in exchange for her safety. ...But Nile kills her anyway. Hyde shoots Bradley (poor communication kills). Bradley vows revenge on the Nile/Evans. Roughly six months ago, Bradley kills Evans. Sees Mila. Thinks about his sister, also named Mila. Gives her his braclet. Shows up at the Dusk with the angel painting. Drops it off. Tells Dunning he'll never see Evans again.
...That's pretty much the whole of it. Mila is obviously bummed out, being a nine-year-old in a nineteen-year-old's body, who was just kidnapped and subsequently learned that her father is dead, and who herself nearly died at random earlier tonight. I mean. All in all, she's handling it extraordinarily well. Hyde is also remarkably un-mad at Dunning, considering Dunning did try to KILL him. They really shouldn't have made that room airtight, it just makes absolutely no sense in any capacity. Dunning gives Hyde an old key, one that Bradley gave him last time he stayed here.
Anyway, Hyde returns upstairs and calls Ed and explains what happened. He says that he feels like Bradley wanted to him to come here, and that's why he left all these clues. Ed says that he's right, and notes that the mystery client called up and said to forget about giving him the items. PLOT TWIST! Bradley was the client all along! The old key opens up the small red box, which contains a letter from Bradley.
It says, in summary, that Bradley wishes he could have told Hyde what was going on. It also says to stop looking for him, that he's a ghost who's on the run from both the police and the Nile. =/
Time for a well deserved night's rest.
8:00 AM
Time to leave the hotel. Hyde says he's going on a vacation. >_> On the way out, Hyde runs into all the people he helped, who thank him profusely. Except... I forget if I ran into Iris or not. Maybe I was supposed to check the roof? Ah well. He also gets a letter from Martin that says that his next novel's protagonist will be based on Kyle Hyde. Saw it coming. <_<
Louie says I should see Mila before leaving, but when Hyde approaches the door to Rosa's room, he overhears Rosa and Mila talking. Rosa says that Mila can stay here as long as she needs. There's a pause. Then Rosa says, no, Mr. Hyde doesn't work here... Hyde decides it's better if he leaves without saying anything. Big =/
Hyde returns his key to Dunning. Last night it was revealed that Dunning made up the stuff about the wish room in hopes of increasing business, but when checking out, Hyde says it really did grant a few of his wishes. d'awwww
Hyde opens the hotel's front door and steps outside... Mila runs out after him! She asks where he's going, etc.
Mila: Can I come with you?
Hyde: ...
Hyde: [nods]
d'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Credits roll. Boring credits are boring. Heeeey what's this an after credits scene because I didn't get any game overs? I THINK SO. (technically I just turned off the game whenever I got one but an extended ending is an extended ending!)
It's the 31st. Dunning and Rosa are discussing their upcoming New Year's Eve party. Suddenly, someone walks in the door...
Dunning: Jenny?!
d'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
(it may be a huge deus ex machina but I'll take it, dammit!)
...So, all in all:
1. That game ended on a ridiculous cliffhanger. The good news is that there's a sequel. The TERRIBLE news is that it was never released in the US! ...But the silver lining is that it WAS released in Europe, so importing it is, theoretically, an option! Emulation is also an option! (Edit: I somehow managed to not realize that Last Window - aka Hotel Dusk 2 - was actually released 9/17/10. In other words, THE DAY I POSTED THIS. I don't know how I managed that, and seriously, how appropriate is a coincidence like that for a post about Hotel Dusk?)
2. I fucked up and didn't get change from Dunning in Chapter 4, so I couldn't finish the lucky numbers/vending machine sidequest. Damn it all.
3. It may have been Contrived Coincidences: The Game, but I'll be damned if that plot didn't just come together masterfully. Everything made sense, everything was explained, and everything was tied in to about thirty other things, some of which were revealed much, much earlier and some of which were saved until the very end.
4. On the other hand, they really sorta glossed over the whole "Mila has been unconscious since she was nine, there's no way she should be a functional adult" thing.
5. The game clocked in at a little under 16 hours, which was a pleasant surprise, being about twice as long as I had assumed it would be. I distinctly remember CG7 saying this was an 8 hour game, and while I might be slow, that's still a helluva difference. I demand an explanation! <_< [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
It's not as good as Forza Motorsport 1 or 2, but still enjoyable.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
[Spoiler for Spyro: Season of Ice, click to show]Autumn Fairy Home
Gabrielle
One of the only Archfairies mentioned by name in the Bible.
Autumn
That's right. I rescued an entire season.
Summer
This fairy is known for being extremely hot!
Torrie
Goddamned Brits.
Grace
Sadly, not part squirrel.
That's 5/5 fairies in the Autumn Fairy Home, along with 300/300 gems. yay
Lava Prairie
Michelle
Our first lady, now in fairy form.
Melissa
She once stayed at a hotel named Dusk.
Suzan
This fairy's name was tragically misspelled at birth.
Ali
Her real name is Cassius Marcellus Clay.
Rhonda
This fairy caught my eye, and I can give you lots of reasons why.
Cassandra
This fairy always tells the truth, but is never believed.
6/6 fairies from Lava Prairie Zone. Still not too hard, but at least there are enemies and puzzles and stuff now.
Ant Farm
(Let me tell you something about all the Sparx levels in this game. They all suck and are horrible. However, I suffered through and managed to collect all 200 gems and defeat the boss.)
Angela
She dreams of one day evolving into Tangela.
Only one fairy in this world, thank god.
Market Mesa
Lauren
She creates high-end casual/semi-formal wear for men and women.
Grayson
By night she is known as the Boy Wonder.
Alice
The pills her mother gives her don't do anything at all.
Not done with Market Mesa yet. That second fairy, Grayson. UGH. I hate that fairy. You need to chase down this stupid-ass annoying enemy who runs away from you and it's so hard to catch him and the chase happens right by a bottomless pit and the hit detection is so bad and UGH. Such cowardice. Terrible.
And by the way, for those who want to complain about me wasting my time on this crap, I wouldn't be playing a console game anyway, and my handheld choices are distressingly few. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Liz
Secretly a lizard.
Marta
Migrated to this game after Tales of Symphonia 2 was poorly received.
Irene
Dr. House's first patient!
And all gems as well. Finally done with this stupid world.
Stone Age Speedway
(This is a weird time attack/rail shooter type minigame. It's not too bad, all things considered.)
Sam
Sam's parents really wanted a boy.
Pleaseblossom
Holder of the world's dumbest name!
Winter Fairy Home
Fiona
Married an ogre.
Britney
Oops, she did it again.
Sung
Her twin sisters are named Sing and Sang. It's widely believed their parents hated them.
Christy
Because "Jesusy" isn't very catchy.
Cindy
Last name Block.
Mermaid Coast
Nadia
The secret of blue water!
Amy
A hedgehog.
Kathy
Chip and Brad are better guests, but none of them stand up to Colin or Ryan.
Anna
Not the first time I've had to rescue someone named Anna!
Rachel
Works as the secretary for Red Crown.
Christine
Xtreme Xtine.
Hummingbird Fort
Julie
Changed her name from "Novembie".
Samantha
Who?
Marissa
Marissa stole the precious thing.
Candace
She used to live in Sinnoh.
Coco
I'm cuckoo for Coco! *awesomeface.jpg*
Kiki
I'm uh... cakey... for... never mind.
Wasp City
Jody
Jody, Jody, six feet four...
Panda Gardens
Jennie
I dream of Jennie.
Charlotte
Jonathan!
Oi
That is not a name. You are ridiculous, game.
Steffi
The world's #1 female tennis players!
Natalie
Born on Christmas Day!
Doodle
How many doodles could Doodle doodle if Doodle could doodle doodles?
Ice Age Speedway
Liora
Search Wikipedia for people named "Liora". Five minutes later, at an article called "Bisexual erasure". I hate this site.
Naomi
Last name Weaver. Maybe.
Honey Marsh
Yaya
Has a divine secret or two.
Chu Chu
I chu-chu-choose you!
Letty
So I said, "let 'er? I just met 'er!" ...And then I mailed the letter.
Kristen
A much better name than "Kirsten".
Rhiannon
Anon delivers.
Karen
Mast of Dark-type Pokemon!
---
BOSS FIGHT:
GRENDOR
OH MY GOD A BOSS FIGHT. ...It's really easy. Dodge his fireballs and charge into him five times.
Lisa
"If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room."
---
Spring Fairy Home
Tessa
Tax-Exempt Special Savings Account
Merriweather
Ah, yes... but where are Flora and Fauna?
Judy
I pledge to tell the truth, the whole truth, and so forth...
Heidi
First name 2521.
Cassie
Has the amazing power to morph into animals, like some sort of... morphimal!
Time Machine Lab
Maggie
*pacifer-sucking noises*
Deborah
De = tc/tp
Gladys
"We're a lot alike, you and I. You tested me. I tested you. You killed me. I... oh no, wait. I guess I haven't killed you. Yet. Well. Something to think about."
Cookie
I made you this fairy. ...But I eated it.
Hollie
Deck the halls with boughs of hollie...
Xiang
Occasionally does battle with a calligraphy brush.
Aqua Age Speedway
Jo
Trivia: "Jo" is short for "Joe".
Betty
Veronica is better!
(I actually consider this level a lot easier than the last one.)
Caterpillar Gardens
Roxie
"I choose you, Wooper!"
Roman City
Nina
Hey now, I'm Irish and I find that offensive!
Doty
Winner of the coveted "Dumbass of the Year" award!
Jessie
Seeking James.
Sarah
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Sarah, the enculturated research chimpanzee? One of them can form extremely rudimentary sentences, and the other's a chimpanzee!
Kim
It's said she was born under a double rainbow, and can control the weather!
Laramie
Her company mascot is named Menthol Moose.
Twilight Bulb Factory
Callie
Callie... (Callie...) / You keep Callie...
Sylvia
Henshin-a-go-go, baby!
Mab
The MIB's less successful sister organization.
Blue
Briefly the Kanto League Champion.
Sugarplum
A fairy. Duh.
Elizabeth
The Pirate King herself.
Summer Fairy Home
Penny
Mr. Bear hates you!
Merritt
the pi merritt is glitched
Glinda
"You know what name is better than Linda?" "what" "Glinda!" "that's stupid. you're stupid."
Mellie
A fiddler, apparently.
Chi Chi
On the last episode of DRAGON BALL Z
Space Age Speedway
Mustardseed
Suddenly, a challenger approaches for the title of "worst name"!
Micki
Wielder of the Keyblade of the Realm of Darkness. And the single hardest fairy to collect in the entire game.
Beetle Burrows
Franny
Never quite lived up to Catcher.
Dusty Trails
Sandra
First female member of the Supreme Court.
Mariah
Carrie
Fu-sion-ha!
Alex
=)
Flavie
If my name was Flavie, I would change my name. *nods*
Eileen
Come on.
Star Park
Meg
Shut up, Meg.
Ember
Base power: 40
Gwen
Mary Jane is better!
Tammy
She still believes in fairy tales.
Agent 10
Works for the MAB.
Beaney
Last second come from behind victory! The title of "worst name ever" goes to...!
---
THE FINAL BOSS:
GRENDOR
...This is literally the exact same boss as the previous Grendor fight, only he takes like 7 or 8 hits instead of 5. If I had any expectations at all this would probably qualify as an anticlimax.
Zoe
The 2nd Runner
---
Whew. So, that ended up being a lot more work than I thought it would be. The writeups, I mean; the game was surprisingly fast and painless. 100/100 fairies, 7004/7000 gems. Don't ask. All I know is that apparently going over the max number of gems prevented me from unlocking the Dragonfly X minigame, which is fine with me. I choose to take that as the game saying I'm just too awesome to keep playing it. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Katawa Shoujo Act 1, click to show]Starts out with main character guy - Hisao Nakai - meeting some girl in the woods. She left a note in his math book, always a great way to ensure someone reads it. His heart is pounding. omg he's had a crush on her for so long. He actually gets so excited when she shows up that he has a heart attack.
Thanks for reading, guys! Overall: 8/10, perfect game.
Oh wait. Guess he survived. He's in a hospital. Turns out he has arrhythmia. Is does he have an arrhythmia? Medicine - yet another thing that I know nothing about! Oh well. After a long time in the hospital (as in, months, at least), he's finally ready to go home. And back to school. But he's going to a special school for students with disabilities. yay. Sounds like good times.
He meets one of his teachers in the hallway, who hurries him off to class. I'm given the option of introducing myself. No thanks, bro. Of course, I still have to stand in front of the class while the teacher attempts to introduce me, which sort of ruins the point of declining. And then everyone hates me and I get a BAD END. Or not. That should totally have happened, though.
Also, I should mention:
http://img837.imageshack.us/img837/9977/omglelouch.png
Well isn't that just
We're working in groups today, so the teacher assigns me to the group with the class rep, who I'm sure is absurdly powerful. It's funny, I was the student president in 6th grade and was under the impression it worked like on TV. Really, it's more like: teachers and faculty will ask you for input on their ideas, at which point you have the choice of saying "yes" or "yes, sir". Of course, I also wasn't an extremely attractive female, so that might have had something to do with it?
ANYWAY. It turns out the class rep is a deaf/mute (first one to start in with the whole "so I thought what I'd do was" thing gets keelhauled), and the other person in our group is her translator. As you can imagine, this leads to extremely awkward conversations. They spend the first part of class just talking and introducing each other and crap before getting to work, and yet somehow still finish the assignment first, despite noting how long and hard it was. I wish group work was like this in real life. My experience with it is more like: spend the first ten minutes in awkward silence and/or waiting for everyone else to read the assignment as slow as possible. Then spend an inordinate amount of time trying to answer the first question in a satisfactory way. Then notice that time is up. Then get marked down on the first question anyway because I was the only one who understood what it was asking, but refused to force the rest of the group to do what I said because I'm not, in fact, a total asshole.
I hate group assignments, if you couldn't tell.
There's a scene at the cafeteria where I'm given a choice of asking the class rep/her translator (I of course cannot remember either of these characters' names) about either A) the library (Hisao loves to read, that being the only thing to do in the hospital) or B) class rep's deafness. I go with A because B seems like it might get me smacked or something. I dunno. I really don't like the translator girl.
We go back to class and Hisao sees a girl with burns on her face - this is, FYI, the girl who I will pursuing, if not here then certainly in the full release - but then class begins and the scene ends. So that was pretty much the quickest day at school ever. Hisao notes something about school feeling so weird, because he's been in the hospital so long that it feels like his brain remembers what to do, but his body doesn't. For some reason, this line really connected with me. It seems stupid, but I can totally relate to it.
Class rep and translator chick need to split, thank god, but before they do Hisao asks where the nurse's building is, because he needs to go have a check-up. So they agree to show him the way.
At this point I'm ready to stop playing, so I start hitting every key trying to determine if there's a way to, like, open a menu from which I can save my game, because I don't know if it's done automatically or what. This somehow puts the game in full screen mode, which then causes it crash. So yeah. And that is why I didn't finish Braid, if you're wondering. My computer can barely handle demos of VNs. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
PART 1
[Spoiler for Katawa Shoujo Act 1, click to show]The game does indeed save automatically, which is... nice, I guess.
The visit with the (male) nurse is surprisingly quick. Hisao heads to his dorm room (119), and runs into his neighbor in 117, a kid named Kenji who is legally blind and paranoid as hell. Very annoying. Go away, Kenji. kthx
Hisao decides that tomorrow, he's going to try to find out about the clubs the school offers.
Next day... Goes by quickly. Hisao has lunch with Misha (translator girl) and Shizune (deaf/mute girl) again; they try to convince him to join the student council. Shizune is the president. It should be mentioned that I have no idea what the difference is between a class rep and a student council president is, so it could be that Shizune is the latter and not the former. I'm not sure. There's something latter on that leads me to believe I made a mistake referring to Shizune as the class rep in my last writeup, though.
So, they can't convince him to join, despite all their various attempts, but they do talk him into playing Risk with them after school. Man. I hate Risk so much. Terrible game. Shizune starts taunting Hisao, and I'm given a choice of whether to play aggressively or defensively. I go with defensive, assuming that Shizune is trying to lure me into a trap.
...I lose. God I hate Risk. It's also much later than Hisao expected it to be. That's what happens when you play Risk. Really, I'm amazed they didn't die of starvation. Hisao says he'll consider joining the student council. Then he excuses himself to go look for the library.
Hisao gets lost and decides to head into a room with an open door in order to ask for directions. There's a girl alone in the room. Jackpot, am I right guys? ...Am I right?
She invites him in for tea, and he says yes because she's so attractive. The girl's name is Lilly. She's extremely formal, very polite, and presumably completely blind, unlike Kenji who is just legally blind. She's also a class rep for 3-2 (Hisao is in 3-3), which is why I'm not sure about Shizune's status as a class rep. But then, after checking the website, turns out they're both class reps, so I was worried over nothing. yay. Hisao asks Lilly about clubs and gets a bit of information, and the two pass quite a bit of time just talking and drinking their tea. Very sweet. Hisao only notices that it's getting late when he looks out the window and sees the sun setting. >_> Something that Lilly is, obviously, unaware of. lolz
Hisao asks about the library, and Lilly says she's heading there now anyway, so she'll show him the way. Hisao gets introduced to the librarian, Yuuko, who could be generously described as a ditz. Hisao wanders off to look for some books while Yuuko and Lilly talk.
Hisao finally gets a chance to introduce himself to the hot burn victim girl, who is named Hanako. <___< Unfortunately, she's extremely shy, and he basically terrifies her and she runs off. Smooth move, Ex-Lax. -_- Hisao mentions this to Lilly, who runs off to look for her friend. Get it? Look for? Because she's... never mind.
Anyway, after checking out his books, Hisao returns to his dorm room, and is confronted by crazy conspiracy theorist psycho neighbor Kenji. He's sort of like a more obnoxious version of Dale Gribble and keeps talking about how radical feminists have infiltrated the school and shit like that. Very annoying. Hisao eventually manages to get away from Kenji and get into his room. Lying down in bed, he thinks about the school, and eventually concludes that "Maybe this place is too much like a normal school, after all." Another sentiment I can really relate to, despite it seeming weird. =/ (I can go more in-depth explaining these kinds of comments if anyone cares, but it would involve listening to me talk about myself, and no one wants that.)
Next day. Hisao, Misha, and Shizune continue working together. When lunch rolls around, I have a choice of reading a book or talking with Hanako. What do you think I chose? <_< This conversation goes a lot better than the first one! Hanako is waiting for Lilly. It seems like Lilly and Shizune aren't fond of each other, but Hisao doesn't pry into the matter.
"It's only my third day here; I should be trying to make friends, not finding out why people are enemies."
Contrast with: Kyle Hyde. >_>
Anyway, Hanako and Lilly are leaving to have lunch. Hisao decides to take the initiative and ask if he can join them. Lilly agrees, presumably because she can't see the look of horror on Hanako's face.
On the way to the room, a girl crashes headfirst into Hisao. For a moment, he's worried about his heart, but quickly decides that he's fine. Yeah because he's an expert on this matter? Better safe than sorry tbqh. But whatever. The girl's name is Emi - she's a runner who uses prosthetic legs. She quickly runs off after being scolded by Shizune.
The trio have a pleasant lunch. blah blah blah. We escort Lilly to her class, and then Hanako and Hisao return to their class, despite Hanako obviously being uncomfortable with the whole deal. Oh well.
After class, Hisao asks the teacher, Muto, about how he can get along better with the other students. Muto basically says these disabilities are only a problem if you make them one, and that he should just go with the flow. And join a club. augh, extracurriculars. Speaking of which, Misha then shows up, looking to recruit some help for the upcoming festival. Hisao gets suckered into getting some art supplies.
In the art room, he finds a girl named Rin. She has no arms and is using her feet to eat. <_< She's also pretty hilarious. For instance, she guesses that Hisao's health problem is "in his pants", forcing him to tell her his ACTUAL problem. The two talk for a bit while Hisao rounds up the supplies. When he exits, he bumps into Misha and Shizune, who came looking for him. They end up scolding Rin for sleeping on school property, but she just ignores them, which is fantastic. Anyway. Misha and Shizune leave, and Rin recruits Hisao into carrying a large paint can for her.
On the way, we run into the nurse, who says "hey. hey. START EXERCISING LIKE I TOLD YOU TO, dummy." So THAT's awesome.
Turns out Rin is painting a mural on a big wall for the upcoming festival, and she asks Hisao to stick around and help her out, mixing paints and so forth. d'awwwww. The two seem to be getting along pretty well!
Once it's too dark to continue painting, Hisao heads back to his room.
Next morning, Hisao wakes up early to go running. Heading to the field, he finds, surprise surprise, Emi. She's the nurse's "spy", but she seems pleased that Hisao is here, so it's not all bad. They run for a bit; Hisao obviously can't go for as long as Emi. After getting too tired to continue, he heads back to his dorm to take a shower.
Stepping out of the shower, he runs into... Kenji. Who is naked. And asking for money. The less said about this scene, the better.
"That is time I will never get back. I'll get him for this somehow."
XD Hisao
Hisao gets to class early despite all this, and runs into Lilly, who is looking for Hanako. Soon, Shizune and Misha show up, and Shizune and Lilly get into a heated argument. I guess today is the deadline for turning in important papers relating to the upcoming festival, and Lilly hasn't turned hers in yet. Lilly's formal politeness momentarily vanishes as she throws a few cutting remarks Shizune's way. The argument involves flashes of lightning, dramatic zoom-ins, and unnecessary panty shots. Yup, this was made in Japan all right. When Misha and Shizune drag Hisao into this, he's given the choice of saving himself or defending Lilly. I choose the latter, because any friend of Hanako's is a friend of mine.
Shizune starts snapping back, so Hisao does the best thing possible and just outright ignores her. It's fantastic. Lilly seems pleased as well, as she exits.
As class is winding down, Hanako shows up, looking for Lilly. Shizune and Misha sort of act like jerks to her. Wow, I don't think there was anything Shizune could POSSIBLY have done that would make me instantly dislike her more than this did. This is the point where, if I had more control over Hisao's responses, I'd be taking the Renegade option despite going for a Paragon overall, if you follow me. <_<
Anyway. Hisao offers to go with Hanako to look for Lilly. And they find her in her classroom, surprise surprise. Hisao wonders if Hanako knew she was there, and was just too shy to go into such a crowded, busy classroom without back-up, which... I dunno, I think that's a pretty clever justification for this. Then again, pretty much anything involving Hanako is going to earn a massive amount of points with me just by default.
It seems like Lilly is feeling a bit overwhelmed, trying to get everything ready for the festival, which makes sense, because her entire class is blind or partially blind. Hisao offers to help and Hanako agrees to as well. Turns out Kenji is in the class (being a class for blind students and all), and is currently working on the main banner for a noodle stand, so they go to give him a hand. He just assumes Hisao is working undercover, gathering intel on the feminist agenda. Very dumb. In any case, we finish, and Hanako seems happy to have helped, which is nice. Kenji leaves, and the trio of Hisao, Lilly, and Hanako head back to their respective dorms. It's quite late by now, so Hisao falls asleep quickly. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Katawa Shoujo Act 1, click to show]Waking up... another day, another run with Emi. This time, when she pulls ahead, I'm given the choice of speeding up or taking it easy.
...
Man, **** it. No guts, no glory!
......
Welp. That could have gone better. Hisao ends up in the hospital. The nurse yells at Emi for not taking the limits of other students into account, until Hisao says the race was his idea, which prompts the nurse to call them both idiots. Hisao has to rest up in the hospital for while, but on the bright side, Emi invites him to lunch. She and Rin apparently like to eat on the roof. They have a very pleasant lunch. Emi and Rin are by far the funniest characters, so any scene with both of them in it is A+++. Also, Emi convinces Hisao to start following an exercise plan and become her running partner.
After lunch and school, Hisao swings by the library to return some books and get some new ones. He sees Hanako but doesn't talk to her. Then he returns to his room and turns it in for the night. I think. I really can't remember these two days very well. <_<;
Next day is Saturday. Remember, in Japan, school is Mon-Sat. It sucks. Even more so because everybody's too busy cramming for the festival on Sunday. Even the teacher seems unhappy about it.
After school - there's no lunch scene today for some reason - Hisao runs into Emi, who recruits him into helping her gather supplies for Rin, who is still working on her mural. It seems like Rin has been foregoing sleep to work on the mural, and it's making her nutty. Well. Nuttier. She sends us back to look for some "Prussian blue" paint. But by the time we get it and get back, she's wandered off or some ****. Annoying.
The next day is the festival. Hisao sleeps in because there aren't any classes. My kinda guy. On the way out, he checks in with Kenji to see what he's up to. Turns out, he forgot the festival is today. And now he's acting slightly more crazy than usual. Stupid. He heads back into his room to make preparations or whatever. Who cares. Heading out.
Hisao goes to order some fried food, but Emi finds him and chews him out for not following her diet plan. She decides that she'll need to follow him around to make sure he doesn't try to cheat again. lolz. They go to check on Rin's mural. It's actually pretty cool. It doesn't seem like anyone else has really been paying the mural much attention, which is sad. =/ In any case, the three of them decide to have lunch, getting some moderately less unhealthy fair food. Emi starts talking about the exercise plan again, saying how nice it'll be to have a running partner, etc etc. Awwww.
Hisao eventually decides to sneak off, saying that he's going back to his room to study, but secretly planning to get some fried food beforehand. ...But then he feels too guilty about it, so he just gets some cake instead. See, again, I'm really not sure any fair food is better than any other fair food. It's pretty much all garbage. But whatever. The last few lines of the demo are Hisao thinking about how he's actually looking forward to running with Emi. d'awwwwwww
...
...So, that's it for the demo. There are, I think, six possible endings, one for each of Rin, Emi, Lilly, Hanako, and Shizune, and one final one that is a non-romantic Kenji end/bad end. I got Emi generally by not being a jerk and by pushing myself too hard while running with her. Pretty much every option I took was the one I would at least lean towards if it was actually me in Hisao's place (though some of the non-controllable actions definitely weren't), and I ended up with the girl who is probably the one I'd be most likely to date in real life. So it worked well in that regard.
All in all, I'm sort of surprised by how well-made the game is. I have no other VNs to compare it to, but at least in terms of writing, it's quite well done. The characters are interesting and the game is witty. It's rare for a game to actually make me laugh out loud - even games usually toted as funny, e.g. Paper Mario or Phoenix Wright, tend to just provide smirks and small chuckles - but Katawa Shoujo had me laughing throughout. Laughing very loudly. So yeah, I really can't recommend it enough. Give it a try, if you're into this kind of thing. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Katawa Shoujo Act 1, click to show]Anyway, I'm now in possession of a flowchart detailing all the game's scenes, choices, endings, and how to get them! Turns out that I made some pretty good decisions throughout the game; if I restart from just before the race with Emi (the game autosaved there, thankfully), I can choose to take it easy against her. This causes Hisao to decide to pursue other means of exercise. It also cancels me out of Emi's route and sends me down Lilly/Hanako's; a bit later, there's a choice that determines who of the two of them I get. Very convenient. He still has lunch with Emi and Rin, but after school, heads out to the town to pick up some groceries so he won't have to rely on the cafeteria all the time.
While out, he runs into Lilly. Hanako's not around, so Lilly is having some difficulty finding her away around, as you might imagine. She asks for Hisao's help, since they're headed to the same place and he needs directions anyway. Works for me. This also leads to Hisao helping Lilly shop while she clings to his shoulder, very cute.
On the way back, the two run into Rin, who is standing in the middle of the street and has forgotten why she's there. That's about par for the course for Rin. The two don't know what the fuck, so they try to engage her in conversation. It goes about as well as you might expect.
"Talking with Rin is like playing chess with a supercomputer who does seemingly completely random moves as if to mock everything you know about chess. It's like that, except with human interaction.
"And even if I win, it feels like losing."
That is the best simile I've ever heard.
Eventually the two convince Rin to go back to the school with them, given she can't remember why she came to the town in the first place. She agrees. On the way back, Hisao starts feeling out of breath, which Lilly somehow picks up on (presumably because she could hear his breathing become heavier?). I'm given the choice of revealing Hisao's condition or saying I'm fine. The latter is a "dumb choice" that will, if you make too many of them, lead to the bad end. So let's not do that. Upon revealing his condition, one of the first things that happens is that Lilly remembers Emi crashing into Hisao like two days ago and becomes horrified. Really goes to show how much Lilly cares about people she barely knows. <3
In any case, when Rin sees her mural, she freaks out and says she has to assume the fetal position and throw up now. "Possibly not in that order." Lilly and Hisao part ways as well.
The next school day goes down mostly the same as in Emi's route. However, after school, Hisao is given a choice of going for a walk or going to the library. I save here, because the choice I make determines whether I get Lilly's ending or Hanako's. Obviously, going for Hanako's first, which means the library.
Hisao finds Hanako alone in the library and makes a bit of small talk with her. She mentions that Lilly is in town today, visiting her (Lilly's) sister. IIRC that's pretty much all that gets discussed. However, when Hisao goes to leave, Hanako actually thanks him for hanging out with her. d'awwwwww
The next day is the festival. Obviously, since I didn't follow Emi's route, she's not there to stop Hisao from getting some foodz. om nom nom delic-wait hisao says it's bland. goddammit. Oh well. He decides to check out Lilly's class' stand, and finds her a bit understaffed and overworked. He finds out that she's worried about Hanako, so he agrees to check up on her.
...And where else would she be but in the library? She declines going with him to the festival, which is expected, but agrees to have lunch with him in Lilly's tea room. While they're eating, Hisao considers how bullying doesn't seem to exist at this school, but that he's never seen a single person other than himself and Lilly actually talking to Hanako. He thinks that maybe she only isolates herself from everyone because they all ignore her. It makes some sense, given how quickly she became comfortable around Hisao, at least. More to the point, it allows Hisao to connect with her a little bit, because he's the only other "outsider" at the school.
All of a sudden, Hanako asks Hisao if he'd like to play a game of chess. He accepts, and manages to win, but notes that Hanako is pretty good. She says that she's played a lot, but, up 'til now, only with Lilly and, IIRC, Lilly's sister. And then she asks for a rematch. d'awwwwwww
And that's the Hanako ending. Now is as good a time as any to link to the original image that inspired the creation of this game. (That link is worksafe, but the rest of the site generally isn't, just FYI.) It started as just a singular, unrelated image at the end of a doujinshi, until a bunch of people went, hey, I'd like to play this. And so a team of sufficiently motivated people began working on it. And here we are.
That image is also important, by the way, because it explains why I'm crushing so hard on Hanako. I defy you to read that without wanting to give her a hug. Can't be done. It's impossible. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Katawa Shoujo Act 1, click to show]Lilly's route is the next one I'm doing. I restart from the choice of taking a walk/visiting the library. (Incidentally, I found the game's manual in its program files, and learned that hitting Esc brings up the menu and lets you save manually. So that's nice.) Going for a walk sends you into town... however, Hisao overexerts himself, and decides to rest at a cafe. He finds Yuuko working inside (incidentally, she's not in the library today in Hanako's route, which is a nice bit of continuity). He also finds Lilly and another girl having tea. Because half the reason for this excursion was to see Lilly, he decides to say hi, and she invites him to join them.
Turns out, the girl is her sister, Akira. They used to live together, off campus, until Akira's job forced Lilly to move on campus. I'm not 100% sure how that works, but it's believable, at least. Soon, Akira excuses herself, having to return to work. For the first time, Lilly seems depressed; presumably about how little she gets to see her sister these days. Lilly and Hisao talk for a bit before Hisao tries to excuse himself. Lilly calls out to Yuuko and orders another round of drinks, forcing him to stay. XD awesome. Assertive Lilly is great. It's so out of character and yet it works. They do eventually head back though.
On the day of the festival, everything goes down as in Hanako's route until Hisao visits her stand. This time, he convinces her to take some time off to see the festival - her teacher had managed to wrangle up some extra help in the meantime, so they were no longer understaffed. She reluctantly agrees, and the first thing the two of them do is search for Hanako, finding her in the library. The three go off and enjoy the festival.
It quickly becomes nighttime and the fireworks start going off, which threatens to make my computer explode. Again: this is why I didn't finish Braid. I'm not lazy, it's my computer! Look how much trouble it's having with what's basically a CYOA book! But I digress. Hisao thinks about something Lilly mentioned the other day, about how having come to this school is a great opportunity for Hisao to make new friends. He asks Lilly if she'd mind if he stopped by to have tea with her every now and then. She says she'd like that. Again: d'awwwwww
(For those keeping track, that's 3/6 endings and 74% of all scenes seen.) [/spoiler]
...And now I am overcome by laziness again! So you'll probably get the rest of my writeups tomorrow or something.
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
PART .....
[Spoiler for Katawa Shoujo Act 1, click to show]The next ending I went for was Shizune's. I didn't really like this route as much as the first three, because it pretty much involved being a jerk to and/or ignoring all the girls except for Shizune and Misha. Also, while I do like Shizune - I like pretty much all of the girls in this game except for Misha - she's probably at the end of my inequality.
In any case, I'm not doing a full writeup for it because the whole game is subtly, but not completely, different. It mostly involves being repeatedly coerced into skipping class and helping Shizune and Misha with their student council duties. Incidentally, it turns out Shizune and Misha are the student council. The entire student council. Until Hisao is talked into joining, of course.
On Saturday, Shizune and Misha talk Hisao into skipping class to go to the cafe in town. At this point, Shizune plays on Hisao's competitiveness and talks him into a wager, a "battle of wills"... Basically, the first one to get made a fool of loses. It's amazing. Hisao assumes that Shizune offerred to pay for lunch because she planned this in advance, and correctly assumes that she plans to finish her food quickly and exit, leaving Hisao to foot the bill despite having no money. So he finishes his food off quickly and excuses himself, with Shizune quickly following, leaving Misha with the bill. owned misha owned
At this point, Shizune hands a note over to Hisao. It tells him that, if he loses, he has to spend tomorrow at the festival with them. Then she hands him another note, which points out that he doesn't know the way back to school and that there will be student council-related work waiting for him when he gets back. XD
Anyway, despite that, Hisao seems to be getting along well with Shizune and Misha, not even minding having to do so much work. Well, not minding much, anyway.
The three of them head out to the festival. They manage to talk the guy operating a ball-throwing, knock-the-milk-bottles-over game into giving them each a free try because they're on the student council... then Misha and Shizune give their turns to Hisao. On the fourth or so throw, he wins a stuffed cat for Shizune. He keeps trying to win a second one for Misha, but after a few more throws, his chest starts hurting and he has to stop.
You know, I haven't mentioned it much, but one thing I really like about this game is that Hisao's arrhythmia is actually important to the plot. It would have been easy to give him something like that as an excuse to get him to the school and then ignore it. But they didn't. It's a major part of the plot, and as big a focus as the disabilities of any of the girls.
Anyway. Hisao, Misha, and Shizune end up having dinner on the roof to the watch the fireworks. Misha om nom noms her food and passes out or something, conveniently leaving Shizune and Hisao alone. Despite - or maybe because of - Shizune being unable to hear him, Hisao sorta breaks down and starts apologizing for how they had to stop enjoying the festival on his account, and really talks her ear off about pretty much everything that's been on his mind for the last few days. In response, Shizune just steps in front of him and throws her hands up into the air, as if to say, look at the night sky above us, the fireworks overhead, the lights of the festival below, and the lights of the town in the distance, and then reconsider your self-pity.
The last bit of text is Hisao thinking about how, if it's possible to fall in love with someone in a moment, then at that moment, he fell in love with Shizune, just a little bit.
...
You know, it's sort of contrived and needlessly sappy, but still: d'awwwwwwwwwwwwww [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
PART 00110110
[Spoiler for Katawa Shoujo Act 1, click to show]Rin's path. Starts out the same way as all the others. However, when Hisao has a choice of going with Hanako/Lilly or Shizune/Misha to lunch, certain choices will instead have him eat alone. Then, after school, he ends up meeting Rin by her mural and talking with her.
"I'm feeling like I'm treading on very unknown territory with art. The way the meetings with Rin go, it's as though I'm starting a smoking habit or something. I should probably stop talking with her."
XD
Eventually, Hisao leaves. We then follow the Lilly route for a bit. At the scene where Emi and Hisao go to look for Prussian blue paint for Rin, instead Hisao stays behind and watches Rin paint. Rin's art teacher happens to come by after a while. His name is Shinichi Nomiya. He talks to Hisao a bit, and Hisao mentions that he's thinking about joining the art club.
After Nomiya leaves, Rin continues to paint. She talks about how thinking is bad for her art, which is why she keeps Emi around... and that Hisao works the same way. Very, very odd. Anyway, the two hang out until Rin finishes her mural, by which point it's dark. Tomorrow is the festival.
Next day, Hisao comes by to see Rin, who is at her mural. The two of them hang out there all day, and eventually fall asleep next to eachother, only waking up when the fireworks start. d'awwwwwww
Beating all four stories gets me a special CG of all five girls in fall attire. This also puts me at 5/6 endings and 96% scenes (or, two missing - The Deep End and Slow Recovery).
...
And yeah, I got the other two scenes later, but it's not worth talking about. The bad/Kenji ending is especially not worth talking about. If you're still curious, I have two words for you: MANLY PICNIC. That should say it all. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Final Fantasy X, click to show]I'm going to disappoint at least one person by choosing to play this, but oh well. I'm slightly less apathetic towards starting this right now than anything else, so I decided to roll with it.
Looks like a ruin. There's a weird sword, Miroku's staff circa Inuyasha, and Samus in Morph Ball form set up in a group. Next to the weapons is a group of people sitting around. A blonde dude gets up, puts his hand on some girl's shoulder, and then walks off. Girl doesn't know what the fuck.
F X
Huh? I don't get it.
F F X
...What? Make sense, game!
FINAL FANTASY X
......Still not following you here!
>New Game
Load
...Oh fantastic, it's the same cutscene I just watched! It was so good it's worth watching twice! Well, at least I like the music.
"Listen to my story. This... may be our last chance."
With voice acting that terrible? I don't fucking think so! No thank you.
FINAL FANTASY X
Ohhhhh! NOW I get it.
Looks like a party's going down or... something. I dunno. Also, there's like a transparent guy? Blonde dude is just standing around. Oh, I'm in control now. Fantastic. I talk to some girl.
"i can haz autograf?"
Looks like my default name is Tidus! I briefly consider a rename to "Teedus", but that would just be silly. It's very obvious how this name is pronounced, yes indeed.
Tidus says he'll make a stupid hand gesture if he scores a goal tonight, which will mean it was for these girls. God. More autographs. Tidus is a douchebagel. Some kids want Tidus to teach them how to "blitz", but he says he has a game to play. Presumably it's a "who has the squarest ball" competition. He says he'll teach them tonight, to which formerly transparent dude says "no way". So, tomorrow, then. This scene is incomprehensible. (And it won't get any better, says the me from the end of the writeup.)
Tidus runs off and some reporter dude talks about the upcoming game. And about Jecht (pronounced Jekt; for some reason I always assumed the "ch" was silent and it was just "Jet"). Apparently he was the greatest player of this local sport thing, but he disappeared one day. One of the teams has an ace player who is related to Jecht. GEE COULD THAT BE TIDUS I WONDER
All the people say various crap to me, all of it uninteresting. A huge crowd swarms Tidus, but he manages to get away and head into the stadium. Hey look, a cutscene that actually looks nice! And features very out of place metal music! The game begins. It's played in a giant, floating ball of water, and looks like a mix between soccer and football, maybe. Tidus punches some guy out of the water orb. Nice. Meanwhile, Greed from FMA has a new outfit and is wandering around town. Tidus is busy showboating when suddenly the city gets blown up.
Welp. Game's over guys, onto the next one!
Overall: 3/10
...Oh god, Tidus survived. I mean, thank god, Tidus survived. Hey, seems like Tidus and red cloak know each other! Dude's named Auron. Guess I would know that if I had ever played Kingdom Hearts 2. The two start running. Along the way, Tidus starts tripping out and seeing the previously transparent kid, who says "It begins. Don't cry." Tidus doesn't know what the fuck.
Oh look, an even larger floating ball of water. Tidus, this looks like a job for you! Or not, Auron says it's called Sin. It starts releasing monsters or something. Tidus tries - hilariously - to fight them off with his bare hands. I'd say he fights like a girl but that would be horribly offensive to women. Christ that was pathetic. Auron hands him a sword.
Auron: A gift from Jecht.
An elegant weapon from a more civilized age!
Auron: I hope you know how to use it.
Dude... Did you SEE how he was just trying to fight barehanded? I wouldn't trust this guy to know how to use a goddamned pair of scissors.
Are we fighting now? Fantastic. Enemies that die in one hit, turn based combat, nothing bad about that! We cut through all the mooks and reach a boss/miniboss/enemy that won't die in one hit. I immediately use Auron's Overdrive, but fuck up the button inputs because I can't remember which button is Square and which one is Circle. It's a problem. I manage to do Tidus' timing-based Overdrive correctly, though! Those years of playing Riviera have finally paid off.
Finally, a save point.
Tidus and Auron move forward and get surrounded on both sides by infinite enemies. Auron has the bright idea of knocking a tanker down so it'll blow up a building, which will then fall on the enemies. Yeah. That goes about as well as you'd expect, and Tidus nearly dies. Luckily(?), before he can fall, he gets sucked into Sin's portal, along with Auron. Auron says that Tidus' story is beginning.
...There's a weird segment where Tidus can fly around. I fly towards Auron, who forms into a little kid, or something. I don't know what the fuck. Tidus says he doesn't want to be alone anymore. Tidus' VA is SO BAD. Anyway. Now we're at some weird flooded ruins or something. Auron's nowhere to be seen. In any case, after a few minutes, the bridge Tidus is on breaks and he ends up having to fight some Sahagin underwater. And then things get worse.
BOSS FIGHT:
GEOSGAENO
Yeah, you can't win against this thing. Tidus barely manages to escape.
Tidus: I had made it out of the frying pan... and into the freezer.
THAT IS NOT THE EXPRESSION. Idiot.
Tidus, having watched Survivorman, knows that the first thing he should do in a survival situation is start a fire. Or maybe he's just cold and a whiner. I'm not sure. Luckily, there's flint and tinder nearby, which is awfully convenient. Of course, he doesn't gather any FIREWOOD, instead relying on the charred remains of a previous fire, so it should surprise no one when the fire doesn't last very long. There was also a weird cutscene where Tidus and Auron were talking about how Tidus cost his team a game, and then the weird previously transparent kid was like, "You cried." I still don't know what the fuck.
In any case, some weird panther type thing attacks Tidus, and he fights it to a draw until some idiots in stupid outfits appear. Their leader is dressed especially stupidly, in what can only be described as flesh-tone latex and bondage gear. NOT SUGGESTIVE AT ALL. She has a Thief/Ninja type moveset (stealing and throwing, basically) and helps Tidus take down the enemy. Then kicks his ass and drags him back to her ship.
Tidus and bondage chick's gang struggle to understand each other, and it doesn't help that her gang is dumb enough to refute statements like "We speak different languages!" with pistol whipping, as if that'll solve anything. Oh, but bondage chick is bilingual. I guess she just wasn't using that skill up 'til now because shut up. She says that Tidus can stay if he makes himself useful. well how can I say no to that? oh right, I just combine the [n] sound with the [o] sound and then punch them in the face when they don't understand that. it's the perfect plan, what could possibly go wrong?
Or not. Tidus is too much of a wimp to follow my amazing plan. Ah well. I wander around the ship and find a thing that deciphers one letter of the Al Bhed language. Y = A. GEE. THANKS. THAT WILL BE SO HELPFUL.
Also, the chick tells me how to use the Sphere Grid. I find this... confusing, and scary. I'm relying on you guys to tell me if there's an awesome skill I shouldn't miss out on somewhere on the grid... or whatever.
Anyway. Now we dive. We're excavating some sunken ruins... or something, I dunno, I wasn't quite clear on this. Tidus finds an ancient compuer and hits it a bunch because that's how computers work.
...
And the worst part is that he actually manages to get the door open by doing that. Terrible. In any case, we find another computer type thing and turn it on, which triggers a boss.
BOSS FIGHT:
TROS
This is pretty interesting. You fight this fish dude in a circular room, and after it takes enough of a beating, it'll swim out of range. The first time this happens, you can't do much except Stand By, recovering HP and waiting for it to return. Second time it happens, though, you can use the command Pincer Attack to surround it. I also stole 3 Grenades off it and blew it to all hell. So, that was fun too.
For some reason, after killing the boss, Tidus and chick dive deeper underwater, but then it cuts to them returning to the boat? So, I dunno what's going on. Tidus still isn't allowed in their special clubhouse meetings. Eventually chick brings him some food, and he om nom noms it and nearly chokes to death. siiiiiigh. Chick says her name is Rikku.
Tidus: YOU CAN TALK?! hehehehehehehAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT IS FAAANTASTIC
That's more or less what happened. My theory is that Rikku put drugs in Tidus' food. She explains that she's an Al Bhed, but Tidus doesn't even know what an Al Bhed is. He says he's a blitzball player from Zanarkand and Rikku's like, "huh?" Which makes sense because Zanarkand was destroyed by Sin a million years ago so what Tidus is saying is impossible. Calling it now.
Tidus explains about Sin's attack, and Rikku's like, "oh, that makes sense. Sin messes with people's heads. That's why you think you were in a city that was destroyed by Sin 1000 years ago."
Fuck yeah! Who called it? I called it. It was... very easy to do. I'm so confident in my abilities now that I can do this:
PREDIX
The entire game is Tidus' hallucination of himself hallucinating due to being near Sin, caused by him being near Sin. It's just dumb and recursive enough to be true.
Anyway. Rikku says that Tidus should go to Luca, because he might know someone there. Tidus doesn't know about Luca, so Rikku says she'll take him there. She also says not to mention he's from Zanarkand, because "Yevon says it's a holy place". Rikku exits, Tidus is like? Zanarkand? A place NOT obsessed with blitzball? IMPOSSIBLE. He kicks the ship in anger, and then Poseidon is like, "DISRESPECTING A SHIP? I WILL SMITE THEE". Or maybe it was Sin, not Poseidon. I dunno. Tidus falls overboard.
...He wakes up facedown, floating in the ocean. You know, I actually think it's sort of clever how Tidus can hold his breath for, like, three hours, but this? This right here is dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. Dumb-dumb dummy dumbstruck.
He eventually wakes up, and immediately gets hit by a blitzball. Oh, guess he's near some tropical island populated by blitzball players. He sends the ball back in an over-the-top fashion, impressing them. Go Tidus.
Tidus: I CHOOSE NOT TO QUESTION THIS TURN OF EVENTS!!
Wakka, the captain of the team, asks him who he plays for. "The Zanarkand Abes!"
.......
dammit, tidus
okay, quick, make a recovery!
"lol oops i must've taken one too many hits of sin, so i actually don't know where i am, or where i'm from"
Nicely done, Tidus.
Wakka says that this is Besaid, and praises Yevon for Tidus getting poisoned by Sin and surviving. Until we find out that this is his dying dream, mirite. But yeah. Tidus follows Wakka towards the village (after I do some exploring), and learns that, indeed, Zanarkand was destroyed 1000 years ago. Apparently Sin showed up and wiped out a bunch of cities because people were relying on technology too much. Tidus is like, "so then it's TRUE! ......welp, no use complaining about it, guess I'll just goof off for a while."
As we head to the village, Wakka asks Tidus to join his blitzball team. He says a big tournament is coming up, so someone will be sure to recognize Tidus! See, it's not him trying to improve his lousy team, he's being helpful! (Wakka is the best character so far.)
We reach town, and Wakka says I should go talk to the Crusaders for some plot exposition. I do so, after exploring this crummy village fairly thoroughly and finding nothing interesting. The Crusaders say that they were formed 800 years ago, and exist to battle Sin. They've had numerous successes, but Tidus is a jerk and is like, "800 years and you still haven't killed Sin?" The head Crusader guy says that he could just tell Tidus why they haven't, but it would be better for him to remember the reason. He sends Tidus off to the temple for more plot exposition. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
I'm going to disappoint at least one person by choosing to play this, but oh well. I'm slightly less apathetic towards starting this right now than anything else, so I decided to roll with it.
Yeah, me. Because I've been playing Persona 3 Portable so this would be like the best time for you to play Persona 3 and augh......
Also, the chick tells me how to use the Sphere Grid. I find this... confusing, and scary.
Sphere Grid is by far the best FF character (stat/ability) development system. At least out of the games I've played. It's probably like Top 3 overall too, but that would require way too much thought for me to figure out seriously. It destroys Esper, Materia, Junction, FFIX's lack of a system, etc.
I'm relying on you guys to tell me if there's an awesome skill I shouldn't miss out on somewhere on the grid... or whatever.
You shouldn't need to. For the most part, characters basically have set "paths" on the Sphere Grid, unless you intentionally bring them off of it, which usually is quite difficult to do without some late-game items. I mean, I guess you could skip a few places in certain spots because they lead to "dead ends" but I'm taking it you'd realize to fill out the entire area you're in (as long as its possible) and then move on.
(Wakka is the best character so far.)
No.
Wakka is Bottom 2 in this game. Though admittedly he probably hasn't done much to indicate that yet. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Liberal Arts Major
Each tjime you move to a new node, it uses up 1 AP.
Anyone can become good at anything. Anyone can go ANYWHERE on the board. Want to make Tidus into a White Mage? Fine, take him down [Spoiler for Character, click to show]Yuna's [/spoiler] path.
This is a bit of a spoiler because it deals with the characters names, and future characters and their "classes".
[Spoiler for Character, click to show]Tidus = Speed
Wakka = Ranged, status effects
Yuna = White Mage/Summoner
Lulu = Black Mage
Kimarhi = Blue Mage
Auron = Tank, disrupter
Rikku = Thief
In the early game, only certain characters can hit certain things.
Auron and Kimarhi can damage Armored monsters (99% of their weapons come with the Piercing mod)
Wakka hits things in the air
Tidus can only hit small fast things like Wolves.
Now, I'm not saying that you CAN'T hit these monsters with other characters, it's just they have a shitty time doing so.
Wakka has bonus accuracy compared to the rest, so if anyone tries to strike a flying monster, they'll miss. Likewise, if anyone tries to hit a Wolf, they'll miss so it's up to Tidus.
Attacking an Armored monster with anyone who doesn't have the Piercing modifier will do weak damage.[/spoiler]
Sphere Grid is by far the best FF character (stat/ability) development system. At least out of the games I've played. It's probably like Top 3 overall too, but that would require way too much thought for me to figure out seriously. It destroys Esper, Materia, Junction, FFIX's lack of a system, etc.
I have to agree here. At first, I actually hated the sphere grid. But I came to love it.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
Incredibly long RPGs and school don't mix well. It's a problem. >___>
You shouldn't need to. For the most part, characters basically have set "paths" on the Sphere Grid, unless you intentionally bring them off of it, which usually is quite difficult to do without some late-game items. I mean, I guess you could skip a few places in certain spots because they lead to "dead ends" but I'm taking it you'd realize to fill out the entire area you're in (as long as its possible) and then move on.
Oh, I see. I got the impression it opened up after a certain point.
Well then, that's much less scary then!
No.
Wakka is Bottom 2 in this game. Though admittedly he probably hasn't done much to indicate that yet.
Characters I've met so far have been uniformly obnoxious/terrible so Wakka pretty much holds the position by default.
In the early game, only certain characters can hit certain things.
Auron and Kimarhi can damage Armored monsters (99% of their weapons come with the Piercing mod)
Wakka hits things in the air
Tidus can only hit small fast things like Wolves.
Interesting. I don't think I've noticed this yet, though admittedly I'm not very far.
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
BUT, the different enemies, until you've invested heavily into the sphere grid, force you to actually use other different characters.
I can't remember WHERE, but at one point in the game you get access to a "Return" and "Teleport" sphere for the sphere grid.
Pretty sure that this is just before you gain access to the -Ra spells (Fira, Thundera, etc) (Assuming you're playing normally and not power leveling)
Return sphere allows you to return to a previous node you activated, while a Teleport sphere allows you to teleport to another party member.
My advice is to get Lulu to the -Ra spells, then use the Teleport Sphere to move Yuna to Lulu's grid and learn the -Ra spells, then ditch Lulu. Yuna over-all is a much better character because of her Summoning ability and White Magic. Giving her offensive capabilities via Black Magic makes her even MORE useful.
Also, while Yuna is the White Mage, keep in mind that it's Tidus who has access to the Haste spell.
Ultima also is not on Lulu's sphere grid, it's actually at Kimarhi's starting grid guarded by a L.4 Key lock. (Which actually isn't much of an issue because Ultima isn't that great of a spell)
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
In the temple, Tidus finds Wakka. Wakka explains that the apprentice summoner is in the Cloister of Trials, but hasn't come out in a whole day. Tidus says he'll go in and find him. The priest says it's forbidden, but Tidus doesn't give a damn and heads in. sure is idiot hero in here
Anyway, the Cloister of Trials works... somehow. You need to, like, move different kinds of orbs around? But I don't get it. But then I trigger the next cutscene in like 20 seconds, so I dunno if I missed a lot of stuff or if this dungeon was just really, really short. In either case, Wakka shows up and says that he's allowed in here because he's a guardian. We head in further and find the summoner's other two guardians, a quickly angered woman and a furry. Eventually, the summoner emerges... it's a woman who looks about 20ish
...
So basically, she's college age, and just pulled an all-nighter before a particularly difficult exam.
......
Well, no one can claim this game isn't realistic!
She says she's a summoner now. Go her.
Heading outside, Wakka calls me over to the center of town where a group of people have gathered. The summoner waves her staff and summons an aeon.
The fayth has entrusted you with a new aeon!
Valefor
I can rename it, but naaaah.
Cut to nighttime. Tidus is being introduced to the blitzball team. Wakka tells him to say hi.
Tidus: Well I would, but this game is voice acted so I can't tell anyone my name. SORRY GUYS.
Tidus is more interested in the hot summoner girl. The people around her are like "STAY AWAY FROM THE SUMMONER!" but summoner girl says it was her fault and goes to talk with Tidus. Her name's Yuna. There is a lot of very awkward discussion. God. This is so bad. And I guess they're traveling together, so it can only get worse from here. Wakka tells Tidus not to get any ideas.
Tidus: Hey, but what if she, like, comes on to me? (ACTUAL LINE)
Wakka: Just explain to her that you're gay?
Tidus: ...But. I'm not.
Wakka: ......Oh. I mean, of course you're not! You lie, ya?
Tidus: Oh yeah! That's genius!
Wakka: She'll never suspect a thing!
Tidus heads to bed, and has a weird dream about Yuna and Rikku fighting over him, until Jecht shows up... it's very dumb. When Tidus wakes up, he overhears Wakka and gothic guardian chick talking about him. Apparently he looks like Wakka's dead little brother? Tidus and Wakka talk for a bit. Wakka's brother Chappu died fighting Sin last year.
Next day. Wakka gives Tidus the Brotherhood Sword. AKA the Aquarium Sword. And hey, we've got a respectable party now! Tidus/Wakka/Yuna/Lulu. Lulu being the goth chick. Oh yay tutorials. Thunder > Water. Very interesting.
Movin' on... Tidus gets attacked by furry. After a bit of fighting Wakka stops him. Furry's name is Kimahri Ronso, of the Ronso tribe. He learned the fiends' way of fighting, and is another of Yuna's guardians. SUPERBLY INTERESTING.
Eventually we run into a big-ass flying monster, and Wakka explains how to switch characters. We bring out Yuna to handle it.
Yuna: Valefor, I CHOOSE YOU! *tosses Pokeball*
Anyway. We finally get on the boat. It runs on chocobo power, which is exactly what it sounds like. Getting the scene to advance becasically involves talking to everyone repeatedly even though they're all so boring. Talking to Yuna, it turns out that she believes Tidus' story! What are the odds. She believes it because her father is Lord Braska, and one of his guardians was named Jecht, and Jecht told her all the same things about Zanarkand that Tidus is saying. So, yeah. Funny how that works out. Tidus says that it can't be Jecht because Jecht died 10 years ago. Yuna's like, "wait, 10 years ago was when Jecht came to Spira!" siiiigh. Just accept the contrived coincidences, Tidus. Make it easy on yourself.
SUDDENLY, SIN APPEARS. It's headed for Port Kilika, so we decide to attack it to distract it. We shoot it with harpoons, but no one thinks to, like, cut the ropes, so it will be shot with harpoons but NOT pulling us to our watery graves. Sigh. This triggers a fight with some mooks, which eventually leads into a battle with Sin's fin.
BOSS FIGHT:
SIN
Pretty interesting. The only way to hit it is with ranged attacks, so Lulu ended up doing most of the work, spamming Thunder. Wakka also contributed. Tidus cast Cheer and then swapped out for Yuna to keep everyone healed up.
Sin's fin goes down, but Tidus is nowhere to be found. Wakka dives underwater and tosses a potion to Tidus' body. Huh? ITEMS EXIST IN CUTSCENES?! MADNESS. But it's a good thing he did, because there's a very nast jellyfish nearby.
BOSS FIGHT:
SINSPAWN ECHUILLES
Yeesh. It has four Sinscales with it, and will regenerate two on each of its turns if they've been destroyed. It can also hit you for 50 damage while recovering 50 health, or hit both characters for 100+ damage while messing with the turn order. Each Sinscale hits for 60 damage, and did I mention we have no healers? And Wakka was out of MP, which I imagine wasn't a good thing. I used up almost my entire supply of potions during this fight, and ended up winning about one turn before both characters' Overdrives were fully charged. Fantastic.
Everyone got at least one level up. Tidus, Yuna, and Wakka got 2, Lulu got 3. Guess I was underleveled?
...So then, after all that, Sin is fine in the cutscene and wipes out half of Kilika anyway. So the point of us fighting it was... I guess to level up? Great. Fantastic. That makes me feel useful. And then I guess Sin is just like, "Welp. Guess I should up and disappear now. I've made my point."
Yuna has to perform a ceremony to guide the people killed in Sin's attack to their resting place in the Farplane. Else, they remain on the mortal plane and become fiends.
......So, Tidus was killed in Sin's attack on Zanarkand, and has remained alive as a fiend. But then he got bumped on the head, and FORGOT he was a fiend. Makes perfect sense.
Anyway, Tidus wakes up the next day in the inn. Time to talk to NPCs!
Little kid: I'm gonna be a blitzball when I grow up!
...
http://img685.imageshack.us/img685/5079/revelationsthedemonslayo.png
Anyway, Wakka says we're heading into the jungle, towards the temple. Any place is as good as any other. As we enter the jungle, Yuna's like "Tidus you should totally be my guardian!" and Tidus is like "say whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?" and it's very dumb. Lulu wins respect points for killing that conversation, tbqh.
So yeah, I'm wandering around, finding items, having a jolly good time, when suddenly a huge creature appears FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
BOSS FIGHT:
LORD OCHU
So, this guy. He's got some nice tricks. He can cast Water for about ~200 damage to one target, his Poison Claws deal 100+ damage and poison one target for an additional ~200 damage each turn unless you cure it, and he can cast Earthquake for a mess of damage to everyone. I kept Yuna around to heal Poison while Lulu spammed Fire and Kimahri smacked him repeatedly.
Just a few minutes and some shenanigans later, the group runs into...
BOSS FIGHT:
SINSPAWN GENEAUX
Easiest boss ever. Kill the two hand things, then spam Fire at it with Lulu. It cannot do shit to you. So easy.
Anyway. We continue towards the shrine, and Wakka theorizes that maybe people Sin attacks get sent through time. Lulu gets pissed off and says that: Chappu is dead, and no one can replace him. Or Jecht, or Braska, for that matter. Yikes.
At the temple, we run into
This is the temple of fire, so its Cloister of Trials is bathed in flame... or something like that, I dunno, guess we'll see when we get there. We head inside and a summoner appears! Her name is Dona, and she basically insults the group repeatedly. Why is everyone in this game an unlikable prick? It's like I wandered into an entire world of Rikus. Including one who is actually named Rikku!
I try to head into the Cloister of Trials, but Kimahri and Lulu won't let me because I'm not a guardian. blah. I try to leave, but it won't let me. Eventually Dona and her guardian show up and throw me on the elevator. What a bitch. And then the elevator won't work anymore for some reason. I know I'm going to get blamed for this, too.
Well. It gives me the option of going in or waiting here. Hmm. Guess I'm headed inside.
...I don't like these dungeons very much. Orb swapping with no enemies? Boring, and I still don't really understand how it even works. When I get to the main room thing where the others are waiting, they yell at me. Hey, it's not my fault! But of course Tidus just puts up with the abuse. We also learn that apparently aeons are made of people who willingly gave their lives to Yevon, or some such nonsense. Eventually Yuna emerges, and we get the aeon Ifrit.
Okay, we're back on the boat (or a different boat probably) and heading to Luca. Tidus overhears Lulu and Wakka talking about ditching him in Luca. Laaame. Walking around the deck, Tidus finds a blitzball and is overwhelmed with memories of Jecht being a dick. He tries to pull off a Jecht Shot, which - in theory - involves a button pushing minigame. But then after the explanation, and the practice round, no fucking commands appear! So I don't know what the fuck.
Yuna shows up and she and Tidus talk until Wakka throws a blitzball at Tidus, telling him it's past his bedtime. GOD. Wakka, you were like the only not-dickish character in the whole game! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME?
In the morning, we arrive in Luca. All the teams get their arrivals announced, and even the comic relief announcers are taking potshots at us. What the fuck. Tidus brags about how the Besaid Aurochs are taking the cup this year, but eh. Soon, we hear that Maester Mika has arrived, and rush off to see him. He's apparently the president/king of Spira or some such dreck. And with him is Maester
Cut to before the match. Wakka says we've been seeded against the Al Bhed Psyches, not the Lucas, as you might expect if the seeding wasn't abysmal. Also, there are apparently only four teams in the tournament? Geez. What a crap tournament this is.
Oh boy, tutorials.
Oh boy, more tutorials.
...
THERE IS NO END IN SIGHT FOR THESE FUCKING TUTORIALS
And you know what the best part is? After I go through all those tutorials, Yuna shows up, talking about how Sir Auron (Lord Braska's other guardian) was spotted in a cafe, and we should, like, totally go see him! And Tidus goes with her because he's a dolt and thinks he'll get back in time for the match. What an idiot. He also automatically assumes it's the same Auron as the one he knew, which, to be fair, in a game like this, is a pretty safe assumption.
On the way out, he runs into some Al Bhed (of the Al Bhed Psyches, in fact), and tries to ask them about Riku. When he realizes they don't understand him, he just starts talking louder. God. And then, as he leaves, the camera hangs on them, which is autopilot for THESE CHARACTERS ARE VERY SINISTER.
Yuna and Tidus run around town and augh, this dialogue is AWFUL. It's not cute! It MIGHT be cute with better voice acting, but as is it just makes me want to rip my hair out. Tidus tries to teach Yuna how to whistle ("That's how we cheer for blitzball players make home!") and she can't figure out how to do it. So, Spira doesn't have whistling and Zanarkand only had it because of blitzball. Fantastic. Not sure which is worse.
They finally reach the cafe and Auron is nowhere to be found. Of course. Two Ronso start hassling Kimahri (because all NPCs in this game are assholes), until Tidus is like, "if I were you I'd kick their asses". So Kimahri does so. But then Tidus sees, on television, that the opening ceremony has begun. Tidus is officially going to miss his first match with the Aurochs. Yay, nice CGI. Minutes and minutes of nice CGI. However: wait for it. Wait for it. Waiiiiit for it.
Yep.
The CGI is over and Tidus is still standing there in the cafe instead of running back to the damn stadium oh my god
But wait.
It gets better.
He also lost Yuna.
http://img.imgcake.com/facepalm_implied.jpg
Goddammit, Tidus.
Soon, Lulu shows up to break up Kimahri's fight and inform us that Yuna has been kidnapped by the Al Bhed Psyches so they can blackmail the Aurochs into forfeiting the game. Hey isn't Yuna KIND OF a big deal in this world? This strikes me as like kidnapping a senator in order to rig a basketball tournament. Even if it works, you're getting life in prison afterwards.
...To say nothing of the fact that they resorted to blackmail to beat a team that has never won a match ever. If there is any bigger proof of everyone in this game being a complete and total prick, I've yet to see it.
So, we start making our way toward port 4. We're stopped periodically by machines. If FFVII has taught me nothing else, it's that lightning fries machines, and sure enough, Lulu can one-shot these guys with Thunder. We barely make it onto the ship, and there we meet... this guy...
BOSS FIGHT:
OBLITZERATOR
...it's a blitzball machine. siiiiiiiiiiigh
So, yeah, you make Lulu cast Thunder on the nearby crane three times, then have Tidus use the crane to deal ~5500 damage to the boss and cripple its offense. And that's pretty much what you have to do to win, I think.
Yuna gets released and/or owns her captors, I'm not sure which.
Lulu: I hope you hurt them.
Yuna: A little.
XD Lulu
Tidus explains how he was saved by Al Bhed a while back and he was hoping this was the same ship but it's not. Wait, saved? What the fuck? Did you not realize that they kidnapped you, forced you into slavery, and routinely kicked your ass? God. Yuna's like, "omg was there someone on the ship named Cid? Because that's my Al Bhed uncle. I'm half Al Bhed, you know." And Tidus is like, "So, Yuna. why don't you tell me some of your flaws." And Yuna just looks at him and after a while she's like, "uhhhhhh I can't whistle, and I find it very traumatic? also my beauty is a curse."
Lulu, being the only good character in the current group, is like, "by the way Wakka is a racist so don't mention that Yuna is an Al Bhed to him." And Tidus is like, "wait, I thought he said Yuna was like a little sister to him? How could he possibly not know?" But then Lulu ignored this and Tidus was like, "OH RIGHT I NEED TO TELL WAKKA" and then Lulu was like, "Tidus what did I just tell you NOT to do". But it turns out he was talking about the hostage situation. Lulu sends a signal into the air that tells Wakka it's okay to win the game now. And he promptly does so. yay. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Final Fantasy X, click to show]Okay, so, next match is against the Luca Goers, and heeeeey allowing me to actually play after that hideously long tutorial. What a novel idea. Wakka says that he's sitting this game out; Tidus is taking his place.
Upon actually starting a real game of blitzball, several things will become apparent to you:
1) You're not allowed to manually control defense. This is so you don't win every match in a complete rout. Literally the only reason this minigame is difficult at all is because half the time, during defense, between 2 and 5 of your players will just stand around doing nothing. Even your Defenders, leaving your Forwards to play defense. YOU KNOW BECAUSE THAT MAKES SENSE. Fucking terrible.
2) Your players are horribly underleveled compared to the Luca Goers. Because that's a great way to introduce you to the minigame, with a match ridiculously stacked in your opponents' favor. Even Tidus is underleveled, despite being like the greatest blitzball player in Zanarkand. Oh, and that minigame where the commands didn't appear on the screen and thus I failed? That would have given Tidus the Jecht Shot. Thus, I don't have it here, and it's a crazy good move apparently.
3) If you have, say, 12 PA, and an blocker has 10 BL, they WILL block your pass every time even though it's supposed to be randomized between half and 1.5x. Your opponents' stats are always 50% higher than stated, and yours are always half of what's stated. The only time your stats will randomize upwards - or even stay the same - is when it doesn't matter.
...You'd think that would be enough of a handicap for your first map, but NOPE. But we'll get to that in a moment. The first half of the game goes down with me doing poorly because of the aforementioned handicaps. The Goers score once, and it's halftime. Okay, that's totally not a problem. Second half, the Goers score again, but I manage to take Tidus to the goal and set up a beautiful shot with no defenders and a virtual guarantee of going through. But one second from scoring, a cutscene triggers.
Tidus leaves to switch with Wakka, for morale reasons.
...And then the game doesn't resume from where it left off. So my shot doesn't go through.
.....................
Fucking.
TERRIBLE.
The only good news is that Wakka is awesome. I send a pass from Letty to Datto, who easily breaks through multiple defenders and passes to Wakka. Wakka breaks through one defender and fires a Venom Shot straight into the goal. 2 points. FUCK YEAH, TIE GAME.
Anyway, try as I might, I can't score again, even though I keep up the offense and prevent the Goers from doing shit.
We go into Overtime. At this point the game just goes "lol winning this match". The Goers get the ball and my entire team just stands around going "derp" while the Goers score. And I can't manage to score again. So, that's it. Fucking infuriating. I WON that match. FUCK YOU, game.
...And I have not yet managed to do any better than that. This minigame is ridiculously unfair in terms of giving your opponents every possible advantage. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
Also, you don't have to win the Blitzball tournament. It just affects a cutscene slightly. Otherwise, it has absolutely no impact on the game AT ALL.
A way to ez mode that? Simple. MANUAL CONTROLS ARE NEEDED.
Get Tidus' Jecht Shot on the boat going to Luca (The mini game where you have to press the arrow buttons while Jecht taunts Tidus?)
First half: Pass the ball to Tidus a couple times, so he gains EXP for catching the ball, then pass the ball to your character with the highest endurance, or whatever the life stat is (Been years), and have that character hide like a little bitch at your goal post, VERY RARELY will any character come to attack.
The important thing is to NEVER EVER PERIOD LET THE GOERS GET THE BALL IN THE FIRST HALF.
Now, at the half time, Tidus will level up, equip him with the Jecht Shot, and pass the ball to him ASAP, and have him go around the outside of the sphere, getting as close to the goal as possible.
Make sure NO MORE THEN TWO characters are on Tidus at once.
Once you're close enough, use the Jecht Shot.
Jecht's Shots special ability is that it knocks out 2 attackers and removes them from defending the ball.
As soon as you score, get that ball back ASAP and again like the first half, hide at your goal post.
Make sure you do this all within 2 minutes otherwise you won't get another chance to ez mode it since Wakka replaces Tidus.
And, yeah, that tournament is supposed to be like that.
The Goers are the second best team in Blitzball while the Besaid Aurochs are the absolute WORST team in Spira.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Liberal Arts Major
Lulu, being the only good character in the current group
...
When I said Wakka was Bottom 2, it's because I couldn't decide whether Wakka or Lulu was the worst. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Liberal Arts Major
Good luck hitting Flying enemies without Wakka. Good luck having an easy time with some bosses without his status effects either.
Good luck killing Flans without Lulu.
Hell, in the end game it doesn't matter either if you pg in the Monster Arena, and unlock the best weapons/armor. They're all virtually the same because their stats are completely maxed out, save for... Agility? In which case Tidus, Rikku and Yuna win out over the others.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Square-Enix Blitzball 2010... err Final Fantasy X, click to show]Okay, match begins. Graav gets the ball, makes a run for the goal while my team does nothing as usual. Makes a shot, goal. 1-0.
Graav gets the ball again. Same thing happens except he might've passed to Abus this time. 2-0. I consider just restarting but ehhhhh.
Letty gets the ball. Breaks through Abus. Passes to Tidus. Breaks Balgera, shoots. Stopped by goalie. Goalie throws it back, taken by... Datto?! Datto's mostly clear; everyone was focused on Tidus. Datto runs for goal, breaks Graav, shoots at point blank. Score. 2-1.
Some shenanigans passing back and forth but no scoring. Goers get the ball, Graav makes a run for the goal. Halftime stops him when my team cannot.
Tidus learns Sphere Shot. Don't have Jecht Shot so this'll have to do.
Letty gets the ball, breaks Abus, dribbles. Breaks Abus again, passes to Tidus. Tidus breaks Balgera, uses Sphere Shot. Sphere Shot = 16 SH. Score. 2-2.
Very little happens until Wakka swaps in.
Letty gets the ball. Breaks Abus, dribbles. Passes to Wakka. Wakka breaks Balgera. Venom Shot at point blank. Score. 2-3.
Graav gets the ball. Makes a run for the goal while my team does nothing. Eventually they wake up and I think Tidus and Jassu stop him. He shoots, but Keepa stops it. My team keeps the ball. We toss the ball around for a while and run out the clock.
**** yeah, come from behind victory. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
Half the time I spent on my one FFX save, is from JUST Blitzball >_> (Blitzball is also the only way you can get Wakka's ultimate weapon Sigil, and all of his overdrive reels)
You also have to really build up your team. The BEST party members hands down... Are the Al-Bhed Psyches.
After a while, their contracts will expire (In number of games) so you're looking at anywhere between 20-40 games before their contracts expire and the team screws up and signs someone else. The Psyches are just a fucking powerhouse.
However, you cannot recruit them until you get access to the airship.
Also, restart the game imo and get Jecht Shot >_>
Jecht Shot makes goaling so fucking easy you wouldn't believe. +10 shooting attribute AND it knocks out TWO defenders. You can't go wrong with that.
IIRC an easy way to level/wait for contracts to expire, just do Exhibition matches over and over fighting the Kilika Beasts. They're the second worst in Spira, only next to the Besaid aurochs.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
Don't you have to pay your players a salary anyway? I doubt I have enough money currently to even consider it, even if it was possible.
Also, restart the game imo and get Jecht Shot >_>
According to GameFAQs I have another chance to get it later. So, I'll make sure I get that time. <_<
[Spoiler for Final Fantasy X, click to show]So team, when we left off, Tidus led the Besaid Aurochs from a 2-0 shutout to a tie game against the Luca Goers, only to showboat by swapping out for Wakka so he could make the game-winning goal. What are we going to do now?
We're going to fight some Sahagin who have mysteriously appeared in the sphere pool!
...it's less exciting than it sounds
While we're doing that, Sir Still-In-This-Game AKA Auron AKA I-still-pronounce-it-"awr-ohn" is busy one-shotting a giant lizard.
Auron: Once again I've cut a worthless object.
Tidus and Wakka just don't even question his presence and join him in battle against more miscellaneous foes, until eventually Sillyhair McGee shows up and summons a giant mummy.
Giant mummy: Stay back! I can't control the rainbow doom!
Giant mummy poofs all the monsters, saving the stadium and, perhaps more importantly, stealing my EXP.
So, Wakka says goodbye to his blitzball team. Hey, we've got a giant, goofy-ass trophy! That makes all that anguish and the many resets totally worthwhile. Wakka returns to being Yuna's guardian full-time, and Lulu explains the appearance of the fiends in the stadium as "we don't know how it happened and we're not going to look into it any further". So, great.
MEANWHILE:
Tidus: It's all your fault! Leaving Zanarkand, getting sucked up by Sin, ending up here in Spira, it's all your fault it's all your fault you knew this would happen didn't youuuuu?!
Auron: You're upset.
Tidus: I'm not upset, I'm on speeeeeeeeeed!
Auron explains that he brought Tidus here because Jecht asked him to, and that Jecht is Sin (very shocking! ...oh wait. thanks for that, dissidia), and that Tidus can only go home if Jecht allows it. He then says it's Tidus' choice whether to accompany Auron and Yuna or not. Except the alternative is being permanently stranded in a strange world with no friends, family, or allies and no way of ever getting home, so no, it's not a choice at all, and we can add yet another character to the ever-growing "total dick" group.
Auron asks Yuna if she'll take him as her guardian. She accepts, but Lulu asks why. Auron says he promised Braska. Meanwhile, Tidus has just been sorta dicking around in the background, but now Auron grabs him, flings him in front of Yuna,
oh hey yuna has learned to whistle. very interesting. Yuna and Tidus interact in a way that is almost, but not entirely, completely unlike how normal people interact. I don't mean just in this cutscene, I mean all the time. Yuna basically tells Tidus that he has to learn how to fake smile, but Tidus is like "whoa sister this is the PlayStation 2, I only have one facial expression and it's 'stupid douchebag'". Next Yuna tells Tidus to fake laugh.
Tidus: AH HA HA HA HA!
Yuna: You probably shouldn't laugh anymore.
If the scene had ended there, Yuna would get instant credit and jump up to like... third best character. Sadly, it does not.
HEEEEEEY SOME GAMEPLAY HOW ABOUT THAT
Oh god shut up priest guy
Maechen: Compared to Sin, humans are mere mudpuppies.
...I could really go one of two ways here:
1) CRAVEN CUR
2) something about breasts
...ehhhh, effort.
Oh hey Chocobo Knights warning us about a large fiend.
Tidus: Let's go get 'em!
Auron: ...why.
Tidus: It's the right thing to do!
It will get us more EXP!
Oh hi there summoner woman. I am actively not staying away from you AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT
Belgemine: Let us see which are stronger. My aeons or yours.
Our eyes met. That can mean only one thing... POKEMON BATTLE!
Belgemine: Ifrit, I choose you!
Yuna: If it's Ifrit you want, it's Ifrit you'll get! Ifrit, you're up!
Ifrit: *snort* *wanders off*
Yuna: ...Grr. Fine then, if Ifrit won't fight, it's up to you, Valefor!
Valefor: VALE VALE!
Belgemine: A Valefor, is that all? You hope to challenge the Highroad Pokemon Gym with an unevolved Valefor?
Yuna: Valefor's my friend. We're not giving up! Go Valefor, show 'em what you can do! USE ENERGY RAY!
Valefor: VALE... FORRRRRRR!
Belgemine: Impressive... but it'll take more than that to stop us! Go Ifrit, use Meteor Strike!
Yuna: Valefor! Use Blizzard as armor!
Belgemine: What?!
Valefor:
Yuna:
You got the Echo Ring Badge!
Interesting cutscene about the Calm, the period after Sin is defeated but before it returns!
Yuna: Sin dies, and is reborn.
Tidus: I get it!
Yuna: ...That is, he comes back to life after a while.
Tidus: Ohhhhhhh, NOW I get it!
Tidus wonders if it's worth it. Yuna's like, "yep it totally is." And Tidus just accepts this. He really should've been like, "hey maybe instead of just sending new summoners at him every generation we can stop dicking around and find a method to kill him for real? maybe? I'm just sayin'!"
Anyway, moving on. I see a blitzball in the field and press X to examine it, which leads to Tidus kicking it into the horizon. Then a little kid runs up and says that was his ball.
Someone should really make a SpiraDickery website. Like Superdickery, except with everyone in Spira. Speaking of which, I love how, if you summon an aeon while a party member is downed, they'll just get up and run off the field like everyone else. Apparently they weren't wounded at all, they just went "hey, this guy is tough. I think I'd rather live" and decided to play dead, leaving their teammates to handle the hard stuff. Like I said. Total dicks.
I do like how all the NPCs have started giving us random items, though. It's like having Zelos in the party, except his talents work on men as well!
Some pointless jabbering from NPCs and many battles later, we come to a rest stop. Auron says we're stopping here. Wakka doesn't want to because it's an Al Bhed-run operation. He explains about what happened in Luca, when some Al Bhed kidnapped Yuna.
Auron: Where were her guardians?
Wakka: Well, uh...
[we hear nonchalant whistling from off-screen]
It really says something that that's probably the best thing Tidus has done all game.
But yeah, stopping there. [/spoiler]
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
It was... okay.
The whole game felt really sluggish, and just so you know who you're dealing with here, I'm the kind of person who always felt that Sonic was sluggish compared to Mario. It takes a long time to accelerate to max speed, especially if you don't use the spin dash, and then you decelerate extremely quickly. The homing attack isn't going to help you out either, because you actually need a target, or it won't work. You can't use it for a quick boost of speed in the air.
Based on just the first act, give me the Sonic Rush games any day. =/
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic