Liberal Arts Major
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Liberal Arts Major
About Halfway through, I stopped using everyone except Rita. Estelle and Rita are 2 characters the AI can't use worth a damn. So, I main Rita.
But fuck me is Estelle boring to play >_>
Currently at Zagi's 2nd fight, god I hate secret mission 4.
Secret mission 3 sucked too, fuck Gattuso.
my opinion on Secret Missions: Fuck those so hard.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
Estelle, yes, but she's kind of an awful character anyway so if you only care about max efficiency, there are other reasons to not field her.
Rita can be used by the AI to GREAT EFFECT! if you don't mind forcing her to spam a single spell. By which I mean, you literally turn off Rita's ability to cast anything other than the one spell that you want her always casting, and then fix her strategy to make it more agreeable to this. IIRC you want something like, use 100% TP, always be far away from all enemies, cast spells only. (For the record, that one spell is always either Fireball, Tidal Wave, or Meteor Storm.)
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
OR she would just... Stand rooted in place doing absolutely nothing. -_-
Either way, in the end it doesn't matter, because I have the most fun on ToV controlling Rita.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
OR she would just... Stand rooted in place doing absolutely nothing. -_-
Yes, but this at least makes her equal to the other AI characters in terms of competence!
In unrelated news, Kid Icarus Uprising is one long stream of frantic gameplay, clever writing, seemingly endless content, callbacks to the first Kid Icarus and other Nintendo games, and Palutena being the absolute best. People with 3DSes should consider exchanging money for it at their local money-for-video-game exchange hut.
(TotA writeups soon.)
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Editor
[Spoiler for the end of Tales of the Abyss, click to show]-What? We can't break through the Planet Storm to reach Eldrant? But I was going at top speed!
-Jade: He's losing his capacity for rational thought.
Luke: Yeah! Just like I lost my memories!
Jade: Technically, you never-
Jade: Ah.
-so why are largo and natalia and the party and everyone acting like natalia has already learned that he's her father? or did luke do something else extremely insensitive to her that i've already forgotten about.
-so... duel time, but first, fell arms
-Luke: We don't need any planetary fonic arte!
Luke: Plus, look at this sword. It's trying to bite me. It's clearly evil.
-Guy - real ladies' man
-peony for party member. mystic arte is rappigs. weapon type, also rappigs.
-2/6 Fell Arms collected
-so i'm guessing the bonus boss is going to be this serial killer fonist, who is actually a professor nebilim replica created by jade
-McGovern: [Elder McGovern's rappig is] quite active, so you may have to search quite far.
Luke: i see him, he's right there, right outside the city
-3/6 Fell Arms collected
-Luke: But since they left it here, there's no problem in us taking it, right?
Anise: That's how chests work!
Tear: god luke we've been over this
Tear: anything in a chest belongs to us
Luke: yeah? that's what i thought about anything edible, too, but noooooooo, sometimes you have to PAY people
-4/6 Fell Arms
-sigh, if we're going to ignore honor and invoke the gnome principle, i might as well put anise in my party. maybe they'll force me, i dunno. also, luke refuses to participate, so the party is now Guy/Tear/Anise/Jade.
-Largo: What a lively little girl. But a duel needs some rules.
Largo: First, we'll determine the stakes.
*roulette pops up; choices are 10 coins, 20 coins, 30 coins, 40 coins, and 50 coins*
Guy: WE PLAY FOR MAD CASH
Luke: Fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty fifty
*10 coins*
Guy: how disappointing
Luke: GODDAMMIT THIS ISN'T A DUEL AT ALL
Largo: Now, I'll take 10 coins from all participants, and we'll begin the minigame!
-BOSS FIGHT:
ARIETTA & LIGER & HRESVELGR
jade + tear + anise get shit done
guy runs around like an asshole and tosses lemon gels at people
-arietta dies, very sad. i'm actually not sure why we killed her. life or death battles? NOPE ALWAYS LEAVE OUR ENEMIES ALIVE EVERY SINGLE TIME EVEN AFTER BEING LECTURED ABOUT NOT DOING THAT EARLY IN THE GAME. but a duel? definitely gotta kill them then, because question marks.
-Largo: Arietta would have killed herself if she had known the real Ion had died. That was Van's kindness.
Luke: No it wasn't! That was just Van's being-a-dick. If he was kind, he would have told her the truth and helped her work through her problems, because that's what civilized fucking human beings do for their friends and allies. For that matter, if you cared about her, you'd have done that, too.
Luke: You don't get the right to criticize US for pitying someone because it "mocks their ideals" when you all couldn't care less about that person OR their ideals.
Luke: Now, I just have one question for you.
Largo: Shoot.
Luke: Why are you trying to walk away?
Largo: I don't understand the question. The duel's over, so...
Luke: yeah but
Luke: there's that whole "trying to destroy the world" thing
Luke: so i don't see why we shouldn't off you while you're at a colossal disadvantage
Largo: All together now.
Largo, Jade, Guy, Tear, Natalia, Mieu, and Anise: BUT THOU MUST!
-Guy: I don't think there's any such thing as right or wrong in this world.
Luke: drowning puppies
Guy: you know what i meant
Luke: what you meant was stupid
-very rude of them to warp me into this dungeon then not offer to warp me back out
-NPC: Many replicas are victims of terrible abuse!
Natalia: That's... that's inhuman!
Luke: yeah it sure is terrible when people, you know, yell at replicas for not knowing things they "should" know, or treat them badly because they've never been in combat situations before, or don't tell them important information about themselves because they don't think they can handle it.
Natalia: Yeah! What kind of monster would do that sort of thing?!
Tear: Despicable.
Guy: If some of those people were here right now, I'd make sure they paid for it.
Luke: hate you all
-wait what. did i just get warped from yulia city directly to baticul? ...bizarre.
-why.
is.
no one.
mentioning.
to.
these people.
that everyone.
who has gotten.
a score reading.
from the new order of lorelei.
HAS DIED?
THAT GENERALLY KILLS INTEREST IN THINGS
-Ingobert: Well, at the moment we can't openly cross [Mohs].
Luke: ...why not?
Ingobert: Many people still have faith in the Score.
Luke: have you told them that getting a score reading from him is a death sentence?
Ingobert: that doesn't seem relevant
Luke: asdf
-Ingobert: so do we tell natalia about this
Anise: why would we tell her
Jade: Yes, it's only something incredibly important to her identity as a person, and it's only all of her most trusted friends and family members who would be keeping it a secret. There's no reason to tell her.
Tear: agreed, it would only upset her.
Guy: yep, I vote for keeping it a secret too.
Luke: YOU ARE ALL TERRIBLE PEOPLE
Luke: ...
Luke: STILL
-luke trolling asch. fantastic.
-Luke: I've been asking myself ever since I found out I was a replica. Why was I born? Who am I? Why am I alive?
>>implying that if you had been born normally, you'd know the answers to those questions
...in fact, the fact that he's a replica means he actually CAN answer at least one of those. he's actually in a better place regarding those questions than just about every other human being on the planet.
-I dunno, what Luke's doing seems pretty reasonable to me. If he's going to be told he's not wanted, he'd rather learn now than later. Nothing about that says anything about how he feels about himself, but rather shows that he comprehends that lots of people have issues with and biases against replicas.
now, the sacrificing himself to nuke the miasma thing, yeah, they can be mad at him for that i guess. except tear, who was willing to kill herself to lower the outer lands as recently as like a week ago.
-Spinoza: I tried to stop him, but he was insistent.
Luke: you could have just
Luke: you know
Luke: not... told him.
Luke: how to do it.
Spinoza: i don't follow.
-i like how, after all that talk about the party being more enlightened than the common masses because they treat replicas like people, when we hear about asch attempting to sacrifice himself and 10,000 replicas to nuke the miasma, everyone's reaction is "oh no! we need to save asch!"
-killed some monsters in engeve. also started a quest to collect some seeds, but i already had them, and then i got no reward except a title for guy, who contributed nothing to this quest, so...
-entering tower of rem
-killin' Vitas on my 3DS
-so i'm guessing that taking the red energy will either count for 100% or make me start over
-yessssssssssss 100% easiest puzzle ever
-dammit. i got on the elevator before noticing that i think it dropped a thing on the ground. or maybe i was just seeing things, i dunno
-BOSS FIGHT:
KAISER DIST XX
yet another dumb robot
-did
did luke just punch a giant robot into the sky
-...once again, we're in a situation where the issue with this plan is "it involves luke or asch dying!!!" and not the thousands of other deaths.
-Tear: You talked with the others, didn't you? They're all trying to stop you, aren't they? But... not me. I chose to activate the passage rings, knowing full well what the consequences would be.
^5 for not being a hypocrite. or at least less of one.
-I'm really curious why no one has suggested having both Luke and Asch use hyperresonance to split the strain two ways. Now, I may not be an expert of the science of this crazy inconsistent fantasy setting, but I feel like that should work, considering they're essentially the same person, fonon-wise.
-this time, remembered that thing the elevator dropped. Longinus get! ...it's useless.
-okay so
luke had the jewel all along (why didn't the sword react to it any time asch was near luke? who knows), and luke + asch using hyperresonance only delayed the inevitable
got this **** figured out
asch is going to get mortally wounded by van on eldrant and then luke is going to absorb his fonons and be cured as a result
->>Tear learned Judgment
welp, that's the sound of our enemies being screwed (whenever one of Natalia/Guy/Jade is forced out of the party)
-Largo? What are you doing here? Didn't you say you'd kill us next time you saw us? so you're not just bad at bluffing, you're a liar, too.
-largo i hope you realize that what you're saying still makes no sense at all. if the score hasn't predicted that it will be destroyed, and you destroy it, then clearly it wasn't absolute, so wtf was even the point.
-stop eavesdropping, luke. that's a terrible habit.
-Jade: Ready! <3
Luke: Then we're off to the Absorption Ga--wait one of those responses sounded weird.
XD
-much shorter dungeon this time. excluding all the dicking around i did at the start now that the fire's gone.
-so... was that an error or were sync and a fake ion really both there just now?
-that is some fancy armor, largo
-i really wanted van to say "Who are you? Excuse me, but I can't be expected to remember the name of every failure. Unless you become another Asch. Yes, that failure was brilliant. Perhaps too brilliant."
Or better yet, sub in Luke's name there and have him say it to Asch.
-BOSS FIGHT:
LARGO
we've been over this, man
you are a nothing character
and without sync, a nothing boss fight
-an arrow that actually does something
-Natalia: Father...!
He isn't your father!
Your father is the guy who raised you!
-VAN IS INDISPOSED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS SWORD DRAWN LORELEI IS REBELLING YOU ARE RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM LARGO TOLD YOU NOT TO SHOW HIM MERCY STRIKE HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE
no?
of course not
-HOW CAN THEY STILL COMMAND THE LOYALTY OF OWLS WITH ARIETTA GONE
THIS IS THE PART OF THE GAME THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL
-florian? I AM NOW PICTURING ION AS MY HERO, FLORIAN BELLANGER
"This fonic arte is much too useless. So, it's a no for me."
-I like how, because of how this game's world map works, the quickest way for me to get to the Radiation Gate is to quick travel to the Absorption Gate and then head north. HOW DO SPHERES WORK GUYS????
-well that was a short dungeon
-BOSS FIGHT:
GIGANT MOHS
get outta here mohs wtf can you even do
stupid piece of crap
-Luke learned an AD Skill "Happiness"
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
-Tear: He was trying to save the world in his own way...
No he wasn't. shut the hell up, tear
-did luke really just try to get jade to not come with because he has his military post to think of? YEAH MILITARY OFFICERS NEVER GO INTO DANGEROUS SITUATIONS, RIGHT LUKE? THEY MIGHT DIE OR SOMETHING, IT JUST ISN'T SAFE
-Jade: Time for a little game of tag. Or would it be hide-and-seek?
Luke: All right! I didn't spend my whole life stuck in a manor for nothing! You're so mine!
i wish luke was this gung-ho about everything
-5/6 fell arms
-a romantic evening for tear and luke sitting on top of the albiore, before a sudden gust of wind hurls them both to their deaths
GAME OVER - RETURN OF VAN
-All right, everyone! This is it! We've finally made it to Eldrant! Now it's time for us to finally backtrack and do some pointless sidequests!
-got a cool sword for guy
-fonic artes for jade, yay. absolute, prism sword, and meteor storm.
-Anise: How about we have dinner together, then sleep together?
Luke: Sleep together?!
Anise: Luke... You're thinking something weird, aren't you? I meant all of us together!
Luke: THAT'S EVEN WORSE
-now, to eldrant for reals. sort of.
-Jade: We should be careful, the God-Generals are waiting for us here.
[LEGRETTA shoots the floor in front of us]
Jade: ...Some less patiently than others.
-Legretta: What good is free will if the future is decided by the planet's memory?
Luke: I DUNNO WHAT GOOD IS MONEY IF YOU'RE BROKE????
Legretta: I think your analogy is spec-
Luke: DURRRRRRRRRRRRR I AM LEGRETTA WHAT IS FREE WILL
-Tear: If that's how you truly feel, then I've lost all respect for you. You talk about free will, and yet you don't have any of your own!
OH SNAP
TEAR WITH THE VERBAL BITCHSLAPS
I GIVE THAT 4 ALGUSES OUT OF 5
-BOSS FIGHT:
LEGRETTA
protip: casting never works in your favor
just shooting people in the face is far more effective
-so welcome back to Re: Chain of Memories, we're on Castle Oblivion's 13th floor...
-why did i fall in that trap
-asch what are you even talking about. saying it doesn't involve logic does not excuse the fact that everything you say is dumb. really dumb. dumb-dumb dummy dumbstruck.
-Asch: I will make those words your last, replicaaaaaaa!
Luke: ...but you can't kill me, you need me to stay behind and hold the door open.
Asch: ...i will make those words your last... to me... today... because i'll kill van and then leave you behind. replicaaaaaaa.
-BOSS FIGHT:
ASCH
this is a VERY rude boss fight, but i think it's actually easier than the first asch fight
-i had been waiting 63 hours for meaning of birth
-Luke learned an AD Skill "Run Away!"
he most surely did.
-Luke: But if I take the Key, you won't have a weapon!
you... you could just give him one, luke. you have like ten. hell, trade him the sword you're using now. it's only fair.
-
pretty awesome, asch. luke. lusch.
-Natalia: Where's Asch?
Luke: Holding off the enemy for us.
Natalia: Okay, let's go back and rescue him!
Jade: No, he must have his reasons.
Luke: Are those reasons "suicide"?
Jade: ...
Jade: yes
Luke: ...
Luke: good enough for me, let's go take out van!
-THOSE ARE NOT GRIMZAS
WTF IS A GRIMZA ANYWAY
THOSE ARE MASS-FUCKING-PRODUCED GODDAMN EVAS AND I WANT NO PART OF THIS
-revelations about fonic hymns. guess this means tear's back in the party.
-Asch goes down like a punk because I guess he's deaf? i dunno, that was pretty dumb.
-we need to run from the trap but luke forgot that he could just PICK NATALIA UP and run
right?
you can just PICK HER UP
(chance to earn 1000 shrines: record yourself making the motion i was making while writing this and upload the video to youtube)
-Luke powers up and Sync shows up to be completely worthless
-Sync: Even with Yulia's divine protection, power like that could harm Van.
map theme from here on is With Yulia's Divine Protection.
-Sync: You have two choices. Hand over the Key and join Van, or die.
Luke: ...I choose neither!
goddammit luke that was not a good one-liner
needed something like "I choose death. Come and give it to me, if you think you can."
-BOSS FIGHT:
SYNC
despite sync basically taking no hitstun from any attacks and being able to just bust out mystic artes one right after another without being in overlimit, i managed to spam enough healing items to win
-man, sync's va really nailed that "one last dying plea" voice didn't they
-what is jade even talking about.
-SIDEQUESTAN
-ROOM FLIPPAN
-TOMB RAIDAN
-i decided tear needed to be a maid for the final boss so i turned her into one
-DIST
WHY ARE YOU ALIVE
THIS IS THE WORST THING
-Dist: Do a thing.
Luke: Okay!
Jade: NO STOP
Jade: idiot
Jade: Why would you even think about listening to him.
Luke: i just thought-
Jade: give me those, you clearly can't be trusted
Dist: Do a thing.
Jade: Okay!
Tear: GODDAMMIT JADE
-called it. ...almost. (it wasn't hard.)
-Jade: Saphir may not have been the man I used to know, but he was still my friend! Replica! You will pay for his death!
-Nebilim: Well then, why don't you try? Although... I'm afraid I will win!
i'm afraid of that too, honestly
-BONUS BOSS:
NEBILIM
MY FEARS WERE WELL-FOUNDED (THIS WENT ABOUT AS WELL AS MY ATTEMPT AT EMERALD WEAPON IN FFVII)
-time for grinding
-Luke learned an AD Skill "Comeback"
PSYCHIC AD SKILL LEARNS
-with like 40 minutes of grinding, was able to actually win
-Jade: Mother Auldrant, lend me thy power! O wrath of the heavens and cries of the earth... Let fall the sword of judgment to dispatch all that is evil. Perish!
Luke: In dire need!
Natalia: We call forth!
Guy: The power!
Tear: Of the Ancients!
Luke/Natalia/Tear/Guy: TO BATTLE OUR FOE!
Jade: imitation will get you nowhere
-HOW DID DIST SURVIVE THAT
-wrapped up some sidequests and now it's time to foil van's stupid scheme
-Anise: We're going to shove the Commandant's ideals up his ass!
Luke: anise what do you think this is
Luke: metal of call of generic shooterguy 3?
Anise: I was just-
Luke: LET'S GO SHOOT BULLETS OUT OF OUR GUNS
Guy: FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC
Luke: WE'LL MAKE NUMBERS POP OUT OF HIS HEAD UNTIL HE CAN'T TELL HIS PRIME DIRECTIVE FROM HIS OWN ASSHOLE
Guy: OUT-FUCKING-STANDING
Anise: fine i'll never say anything again, is that what you want
Luke: yes.
-Guy and Luke -- bros for life
-Van: I'm impressed. I expected Asch.
Luke: you expect a lot of things
Luke: the success rate for all of them is gonna be about equivalent, by the way
-Van: Join me, Luke, and we'll rule the galaxy as father and son!
it's really about on that level
-Luke: There's no special meaning in living.
HOLY SHIT A FICTIONAL CHARACTER WHO GETS IT
-was really hoping that van would be in the middle of responding to tear and then suddenly go "wait wtf are you wearing"
-HOLY SHIT SOMEONE FINALLY POINTS OUT THE HUGE, GLARING FLAW IN VAN'S PLAN
GUY YOU ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST
-JADE WITHOUT GLASSES
WEIRD LOOKING
-ANISE MAKING A MEANINGFUL CONTRIBUTION TO THE PLOT THAT DOESN'T ALSO MAKE ME HATE HER AS A PERSON
LITERALLY THE FIRST TIME IN THE ENTIRE GAME
-BOSS FIGHT:
VAN
wow this is really obnoxious.
okay, time to treat this as NEBILIM: THE REVENGE
-phase two time
-what the hell? so van is like a robot angel thing? ...i guess that's par for the course for jrpg final bosses, dunno why i'm surprised
-THE FINAL BOSS:
VAN
-...and i get TPK'd by judgment, FANTASTIC game balance
-and i get TPK'd by two mystic artes in a row
-i think i never put my difficulty back on normal after i finished grade farming
-still managing to win as long as i don't get screwed over by some random crap completely beyond my control
-boss beaten
-...so we're in FFVII now? we're gonna have some curbstomp extra phase thing here that is impossible to lose?
-uhh
-this is supposed to end, right
-i seem to have glitched the game.
-too lazy to actually describe what happened, have this aim convo that actually took place through cg7 for some reason
Epyon:
AHAHAHA
WHAT
Kenri you suck
Me:
THIS IS NOT MY FAULT
IN ANY WAY
Me:
In fact, I choose to believe that the party went "fuck our plan, we'll just lock van into eternal combat with us and save the world that way"
-Epyon:
"Holy shit Tear will you please finish that fucking hymn already."
Me:
oh she finished it, but then van apparently invoked sonic 2006 and killed me during a scripted cutscene or something
and the game went "what do"
-on normal difficulty the battle isn't nearly as bullshit, but that's to be expected. i want it on record that i beat this boss on hard, though.
-so what's supposed to happen is tear sings the grand fonic hymn twice and then luke automatically uses radiant howl to kill van
-nope not gonna feel sorry for van he has done absolutely nothing to make me feel any sympathy towards him whatsoever, sorry game
-luke tells everyone to leave and they do it? after each telling him to come back in their own way? ...i don't think i'd have left. especially if i was tear.
-Tear: Luke... I love you.
good job springing that on him now? (and yes, it was obvious before now, UNLESS you're a dumb anime guy like luke is)
-luke merges with asch('s body) for real now. not sure what the first merge was, then?
-everyone is waiting for luke in tataroo valley rather than attend some ceremony being held by the people who think he's dead (read: everyone). gee do you think he'll show up? i dunno guys eldrant collapsed, i don't think even luke could survive that
-heyyy there's a red-haired guy. of course, his hair is long, so even though he's wearing white and his hair doesn't look like asch's, tear mistakes him for asch. i guess in fairness, it's dark?
-Tear: Why are you here?
Luke: There's a great view of Hod. And... I made a promise to someone.
-so... i guess this ending is debatable? i dunno, it's pretty fucking clear that's luke, from his voice and general demeanor if nothing else. i honestly feel like the "better" ending in terms of not being a horrible cliche would be if that was asch, but that would also nullify the moral of the entire story, so it's kind of a bad situation either way and they should've just not done this whole sequence and just had luke leave eldrant with everyone else.
-COMING UP SOME TIME
EITHER I TACKLE THE BONUS DUNGEON ON MY CLEAR FILE OR TRY A 100% RUN ON NG+ AND PROBABLY VERY HARD DIFFICULTY BECAUSE FUCK WHAT I'VE HEARD ABOUT UNKNOWN
ALL THIS AND MORE AFTER I SPEND A MILLION HOURS ON KID ICARUS [/spoiler]
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Advanced
i'm glad i'm not the only one who thought of those
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"Because nothing says "level 80 dark elf warlock" like "radical 19th century feminist"!" -Ogordemir99 on World of Wollstonecraft
Editor
-Skyward Sword. I beat this within a couple days because I played it for like... 6 hours a day because it was soooo gooood. Skyward Sword is... essentially 2D Zelda gameplay in 3D. By which I mean, 3D Zelda games in the past tend to go for a very clean divide between overworld stuff and dungeon stuff. Dungeons are where you fight dudes and solve puzzles, while the overworld is that boring stuff you do to get to the next dungeon. Skyward Sword is much more like a 2D Zelda in that essentially the whole game involves solving puzzles and fighting enemies, and while there are dungeons, what is a dungeon is determined more by the plot than by any divergence in terms of gameplay. This is a good change and it should be applied to all future 3D Zelda games. I cannot stress that last part enough.
The story is also good! The villains are kind of disappointing (as in every Zelda game except Wind Waker) but there are a few legitimately cool twists and generally the cast is quite good. Even Link has a distinct personality, which is to say he's kind of a dick -- it's a nice change from Goofy Dude and The Nicest Guy Ever??, the Links of Wind Waker and Twilight Princess respectively.
-Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruin of the Moon. This is not a good game, but it is a good thing that happens to be a game. The setting, which is to say the premise (because the setting is essentially just "modern Japan"), is super interesting. I don't think it's a spoiler to say that the game's premise is that... something happened and now the main character is possibly the last person alive in the entire world. Oh, and he can see spirits, because why not? Eventually he ends up chasing after some mysterious girl with silver hair, but unlike every other time that plot device is used, it makes sense here because she might literally be the only other living person on the planet.
The combat is bad and the game isn't scary, despite being ostensibly a survival horror JRPG. That's probably because the game mechanics and visuals aren't good enough for the game to be scary, or at least consistently scary -- there are definitely a few individual moments that can pull it off. There's also a lot of needless filler - backtracking and super long hallways, for instance. This might start bothering me later but right now I'm too in love with the story to care. Overall, it really wants to be an anime instead of a game, but a game is what we got, so you should play it.
-Bastion. Stop me if you've heard this one before: It's a story about a kid who might be the only one alive in the whole world after... something happens, and he's trying to find survivors... Okay, but seriously, that's about as far as the similarities go; it's kind of a weird coincidence though. Bastion's gameplay is fun, but the controls are awful -- I'm using a keyboard though, presumably a joypad would be immeasurably better. The real reason to play this game is for the story, or not even the story itself, but rather the way the story is told. I know that absolutely everyone raves about the game's narrator when talking about this game, but there's a reason for that. It works really well.
I got one of the game's endings and immediately wanted to replay it for the second. It's not the best story ever, but it's told in such a way that makes it insanely compelling.
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Editor
-Fragile Dreams: Farewell Ruins of the Moon. Beat the game a couple days ago. I'm less in love with it than I was at the start, but I still think it's well worth the $15 for anyone who owns a Wii and likes games with good stories. It suffers at a few points from 100% unnecessary filler (usually in the form of backtracking or holy-****-why-is-this-so-long hallways); altogether, this adds about an hour to the game, bringing it to about 13 overall, which is like... why even bother? That's effectively the same length. The ending of the game also seems a bit rushed, though it's not too bad in that regard. Really, the ending itself is fine, it just feels like the game needed about hour or two more to happen before it, to flesh out the characters and setting a bit more.
By the way? Played through the whole game, still NO IDEA what the fuck "Farewell Ruins of the Moon" is supposed to mean.
-TRAUMA. Unfortunately no relation to Trauma Center, which is a much better game. This is an indie game (yes, game - some people will say it isn't, but it has definite game elements) about a woman recovering from a car accident. She has four dreams which you have some degree of control over, mostly in terms of moving through them (which is a game element in and of itself, because they don't always make logical geographical sense, being dreams), but there are also certain objects you can interact with by drawing patterns. Each dream has a main ending, three alternate endings, and 9 photographs to find -- these photographs either tell you symbols to draw in the current dream, or give you hints about where to draw the symbols in the other three dreams to get the alternate endings. It works pretty well if you're into that kind of adventure game-esque puzzle solving, though it's super easy -- you can blow through the entire game in about 30 minutes if you don't care about any of the extras.
The problem is that the story... isn't. This could be a game about the psychological effects of hospitalization and recovering from an injury, and even use that as a gateway to dealing with the protagonist's other problems... but it isn't. The protagonist will tell you that "This is the dream where I am chasing the ghost", which is an image of a young man, and we can assume certain things about that. And we can assume certain things about the odd stone orbs she feels compelled to lift, which show up in every dream, in one case growing from a seed ("I used to think my problems were man-made..."). But there's not really any reason to, because the game never develops its main character beyond these snippets of dialogue. Were it not for the framing device or the voice acting, you'd be hard-pressed to even prove the four dreams are all being dreamed by the same individual.
Still, it's a game you might already own as part of a Humble Bundle, so give it a shot if you do. I liked it enough to spend about an hour with it, at least. *shrug*
-Xenoblade Chronicles. Remember late in Final Fantasy X, there's that big open field? This whole game is that, only way bigger and with a hundred times as much stuff to do. Within ten minutes of getting control of Shulk, the main character, I accidentally jumped off a city, landed in the ocean, swam to shore, and got killed by a frog. The whole game is stuff like that, doing insane crap in massive areas and either dying or getting rewarded for it. Death in the game is a slap on the wrist, too, which is great, because when you see a find a campsite full of turkey warriors (Turkins), you're going to want to charge in and fight their leader. And they will probably kill you dead in the process.
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
gettin' destroyed for the first time in like 10 hours because i am so overleveled but somehow this thing is my level
after like 5 failed attempts, realize that it's dealing spike damage
start using purge
STILL dying
remember that i'm still using equipment from makna forest because i was so overleveled and that was a way to keep things more challenging
equip new shit, physical defense up by 100+ on all characters
FIRST. FUCKING. TRY.
i'm pretty good at this game guys! [/spoiler]
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
The rematch became my Eryth Sea HIGHLIGHT event. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
today: kenri vs. the Vague nebula in Valak Mountain
I think it has Spike-Bind or something, very annoying when you can't go and revive your healer because you've been inflicted by bind just for attacking. The trick isn't Purge though, because its Ice Explosion power is absolutely terrifying. Deals like 60% damage to Shulk and more to Melia and Sharla, then inflicts 300 bleed.
I couldn't win at level 46 but came back at level 48 and won. This probably had less to do with levels and more to do with upgrading Monado Shield, which I think forced Ice Explosion to actually trigger visions instead of just being something that could be spammed repeatedly as a normal attack. I have no idea. I also managed to actually Chain Attack while Melia had an element burst loaded, which is more helpful than when I try to do a chain attack and end having to make her whack something with her staff. [/spoiler]
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
Melia can use her Talent Art whenever she has a summoned elemental. In fact, it's using her Talent Art that actually fills it up. When it's full is when she goes into Elemental Burst which has a % chance of being lost on every action that depends on... something I forgot.
So, unless she has no elementals summoned/you fired the last one previously, you can use her Talent Art. Which is almost certainly going to do more damage than whatever else she has available. [/spoiler]
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
Yeah, what I mean is that, often when I go into a Chain Attack she doesn't have an element summoned for me to fire off. [/spoiler]
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Editor
Shulk: I know just the person!
Reyn: Aww yeah, it's Reyn time!
Shulk: Dunban, you talk to him!
Reyn: But. [/spoiler]
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"HOLD THE LINE!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"HOLD THE LINE!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"HOLD THE LINE!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!"
"HOLD THE LINE!"
LET ME DO FOR YOU. THE DANCE OF THE MAKO'AN PEOPLE. *Drives on side after going down a small incline and won't upright itself*
"HE'S HERE!" - Krogan with a shotgun charging on Insanity #1
"WATCH OUT!" - Krogan with a shotgun charging on Insanity #2
"HE'S HERE!" - Krogan with a shotgun charging on Insanity #3
*Dies*
*Walks by the Keeper that Chor'ban examines, first time in the citadel* (Aka, he's not there)
Ashley: That guy's up to something.
Kaiden: What g-
Ashley: That guy's up to something.
Kaiden: What g-
Ashley: That guy's up to something.
Kaiden: What g-
Ashley: That guy's up to something.
Kaiden: What g-
Ashley: That guy's up to something.
Kaiden: What g-
Ashley: That guy's up to something.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
#6. Kallian
Why Kallian?: When this guy first showed up, my reactions were, "Why is Albedo here", and then "This guy is either evil or a party member."
Why it's not going to happen: I think the ship sailed on him ever being more than a somewhat important NPC after the whole Alcamoth/Prison Island deal. I guess there's still a possibility, given his whole Allied Army idea, but ehhh...
Likelihood: 1%
#5. Gadolt
Why Gadolt?: Because he's a known fighter who would undoubtedly join the group if he was alive.
Why it's not going to happen: Because the game is shipping Reyn/Sharla really hard (and was even before the Ether Mine events for some reason that was sorta creepy and not a good idea at all) so he's either dead already, or, more likely, will die soon after we find him. Or the game has just forgotten about Sharla claiming she knows he's alive and that plot point will never come up again. That would be a very Xenosaga thing to do.
Likelihood: 5%
#4. Alvis
Why Alvis?: Because the game is hinting at it so hard, given that he's (ostensibly) roughly the same age, level of competence, and with similar goals to the party.
Why it's not going to happen: Because there's no way he's not evil. Or, if not evil, I will at least have to kick his ass at some point. Plus, he was a clearly guest-styled fighter when he joins you briefly to fight the Telethia, and I think if he was going to join the party, he'd have done so right around the point when you enter Valak Mountain.
Likelihood: 15%
#3. A Mechon
Why a Mechon?: Because the game is hinting pretty hard that not all (and perhaps not even the majority of) Mechon are evil, and the group already has one of every other race, not counting the ones that game doesn't treat as sentient (for a reason that is bizarre and never elaborated upon and I don't really like it).
Why it's not going to happen: Because I can't imagine them trying to justify a Mechon chatting up townspeople for quests. Would be a pain in battle too, because they'd have to justify why random enemies can hurt it without the Monado or Mechon-level tech.
Likelihood: Becoming more so every minute
#2. Fiora
Why Fiora?: Because she was, IIRC, not a guest-styled fighter back when she was controllable. Also, there's an achievement that involves having her give lots of gifts. Also, she's alive for a reason, though she would be on this list even if she wasn't, because I wasn't convinced this game wouldn't just go "Who said the Monado can only change the future?"
Why it's not going to happen: Because the game is shipping Shulk/Melia hard.
Really hard.
About as hard as Melia wants Shulk to-Goodnight, everybody!
Likelihood: Extremely
#1. Someone with suspiciously similar Arts to Dunban
Why someone with suspiciously similar Arts to Dunban?: Because Dunban is going to die and then we will get a replacement. There's no way he survives past endgame. There's no way he survives TO endgame. I still can't believe he even survived past the opening cutscene.
Why it's not going to happen: N/A
Likelihood: Yes [/spoiler]
---
"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
- Mass Effect (360)
- Glory of Heracles (DS) (Would highly recommend this, really good imo)
- Civilization 4: Beyond the Sword
I -was- playing Golden Sun: Dark Dawn, but. Terrible game <_<
The combat is WAY too fucking easy and the MASSIVE AMOUNT OF TEXT is annoying, combined with completely retarded characters really ruined the game for me <_<
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
"I am fighting for my people!"
"um... your people have all requested that you please stop fighting for them."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"immediately if possible."
"NO! I AM FIGHTING FOR MY PEOPLE!" [/spoiler]
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Editor
[Spoiler for Xenoblade, click to show]I killed the level 100 superboss in name only and the level 108 God Emperor of Bunnitkind. Can't beat Ancient Daedala with my current gems/equipment/skills, which almost assuredly means I can't beat the other two superbosses, and I'm not really willing to go farm crystal drops or whatever. So... yeah. 115+ hours, of which probably 110 were really enjoyable. It had a good run. [/spoiler]
Expect more detailed closing thoughts tomorrow maybe.
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Editor
I'll get this out of the way first:
tl;dr: It's fun and you should play it.
But to go into more detail...
-It takes a while to get going. As soon as you hit Gaur Plains the game becomes great and stays that way for most of the remaining ~100 hours.
-The game is at its best when you're just in a massive open area and holy **** herds of monsters are stampeding around and some monsters have formed societies and are holed up in their bases and there are secret areas to discover and items to collect and all of this is optional. There's an insane amount of optional content here.
-Some quests are streamlined, in that you get a reward the instant you complete the quest without having to return to the NPC. I sort of wish more were like this, though, because it's really, really nice.
-Combat is fun, but I feel like you're pigeonholed into either using Sharla (your one healer) at all times, or using a certain combination of party members/Skill setup specifically to compensate for not using Sharla. To take Tales of Vesperia as an example, it made Estelle your primary healer, but also gave Karol situational healing moves and gave Raven the single best healing move in the game. It then gave you healing items and made Repede the best item user. So of 7 characters, you had 4 who could competently heal. In Xenoblade, of 7 party members you have 1 who can competently heal and a few others who can kind of sort of get by if fielded together. No healing items, BTW.
-Xenoblade has way too many systems and there's no reason for some of them. Okay so you have equipment, and you can equip gems in your equipment if it has gem slots, and gems grant certain effects, and you can also get crystals from enemies or from mining ether crystal deposits, and you can use gem crafting to craft gems out of crystals, and everyone can play one of two roles in gem crafting, and they all have different stats for both roles, and you also have arts (which are spells/abilities), and you level up arts with AP that you get from enemies, but you also need to find arts manuals to allow them to be leveled up past a certain point, and you also have skills, which grant certain boons, and you level up skills with SP that you get from enemies, and you also get affinity coins from leveling up or from beating strong enemies, and you can use affinity coins to let characters borrow skills from other party members, but only based on how strong their affinity is, and you raise affinity through etc etc and you also have affinity with towns and NPCs have affinity with each other and these affinities let you trade for better items and affinity between party members gives you access to heart-to-hearts which are like skits and oh my god this is the most daunting game imaginable.
It all works and you'll get the hang of it as you play, but certain systems (gems) could be cut I wouldn't complain. At all.
-The plot is less good. Non-spoiler summary: The party doesn't interact enough, the plot twists are mostly super predictable, there are some rather sizable plot holes, and it goes to a very JRPG place near the end.
Plot spoilers from here on.
[Spoiler for Xenoblade, click to show]-Heart-to-Hearts are meant to fill the same sort of role as skits from Tales, but unless you switch up your party often you'll probably just do almost all of them at the end of the game. This means that your party doesn't interact very often. It's believable that Shulk/Reyn/Dunban are friends. Reyn/Sharla is plausible, Shulk/Melia is plausible and after that a lot of character relationships are just sort of... the same as most JRPGs. "...Have these people ever interacted in the year they've been traveling together?"
-The game has a few plot twists, but most are predictable. It has one early on that's like OH MY GOD but then it's undone later so whatever. In fairness though, I expected Dunban to die at like 15 different points in the game and he survived through the epilogue, so yay.
-The game's best antagonist by far (Metal Face) becomes less and less good the more he appears, and then nobody ever really fills the vacuum he leaves after you defeat him. And it's not for a lack of candidates, either; this game has villains out the ass. It also falls into the trap of making you defeat most of them in the final 5% of the game, which is... basically a horrible idea in every game in which it's used.
-Why can the Monado hurt Tirkins but not Homs? Why can it hurt Telethia but not High Entia? who knows. try not to think about it.
-Why does the game allow you to slaughter like a million Face Units immediately after Shulk's speech about how he's not willing to kill Homs? who knows. try not to think about it.
-Why do Nopon exist at all? Why is Riki so handled so badly? This mostly-realistic-looking game did not need little puffball mascot characters, much less ones that speak in obnoxious, vaguely racist accents. Remove the accent, let Riki actually contribute to his introductory fight, and suddenly he's in the top half of the party. It's sort of baffling considering the rest of the game.
-Not really a critique or anything, but I need to mention it: this game has more in common with Xenosaga than FFX does with FFVII. I would completely believe they're part of the same series, Zohar or not. Shulk is a scientist who works with a military force and his main duty is to research a weapon that can defeat the seemingly impossible-to-harm mysterious invading forces. When a character's eyes turn blue, they're about to accomplish superhuman feats. Dunban is Jin, they're the same character. Alvis is literally just chaos. As much as Mechon serve the same role as Gnosis, Telethia are literally exactly the same as Gnosis. Etc etc. The two series have a lot in common. [/spoiler]
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Editor
Fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard, fuck the Scrap Yard.
My timeline for that one fucking challenge:
1. Try it over and over.
2. Can't get under 32 seconds (need under 27).
3. Look up how to do it.
4. Try it over and over.
5. Watch a youtube video.
6. Try it over and over.
7. Look up how to do it again, thinking there must be more info out there.
8. Try it over and over.
9. Watch a different youtube video.
10. Try it over and over.
11. Try different control schemes.
12. Try configuring my controls.
13. Look up ways to disable the game's crosshairs (only in the PC version - thanks, devs! those crosshairs are sure helping me hit everything except whatever i'm facing) only to find that they can't be disabled.
14. Hook up a mouse.
15. Reconfigure the controls bound to the mouse.
16. Try over and over.
17. And over and over and over.
18. Get it somehow.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
I am INFURIATED.
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"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Editor
---
"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
I spent a total of 22 fucking hours on Disk 1 grinding my class levels to beat the dungeon on disk 1.
Currently on Disk 2, grinding yet again.
OTHER things I've been playing: (Because other people totally care what I'm playing)
EVE Online
Civilization 4: Beyond The Sword
This game is freaking awesome.
Chrono Trigger DS
Mostly when I'm trying to sleep at night, play for a little here and there.
Torchlight II
Though not as much, not enjoyable when each area takes upwards of a minute + to load :( (Fault of my system, not the game...)
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Editor
-Sonic Generations is pretty good. The first few levels are exactly what I want out of a Sonic game, and that goes for whether you're looking at the 2D parts or the 3D parts. Then you get to Planet Wisp and some of the later bosses and it's like, welp, this sure feels like nothing has been learned since Sonic Heroes. The side missions are kind of fillery too and the story's bad but whatever.
-Pokemon Black 2 is weird and I don't know what I think of it. It's resting at an uneasy place between being a third version and being a new installment; I understand why there isn't more new stuff, but I still really want more new stuff. I dunno. Story's pretty dumb so far too compared to B/W.
-Fallout 3 is a good game. I've been playing it with a housemate and together we've sunk more than 100 hours into it (though most of that was him I think). That said I'm kind of done with the game now and ready to move on. I've kind of done the whole thing where I walk into some dark, gritty building that looks identical to every other dark, gritty building and rustle through its shelves for anything of worth enough times now. Now I'd really like to go to a lake or a forest or something. Don't really care where just as long as it isn't dark or gritty or a building. (The one forest that is in the game was a nice break and there needs to be more stuff like that.)
-Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon is a decent game if not a decent Fire Emblem game. I probably should've played on Hard instead of Normal but FE10 kind of scared me away from doing so. The characters are pretty bad but at least you can invent characterization for them. Or steal someone else's invented characterization for them.
i don't liiiiiike killing people for money that's why i signed on with a group of fuckwretched bandits for moneyOh Julian, you're the absolute best.
Marth is also kind of amazing in this game which is something you should enjoy while it lasts.
Nyna: Humanity's hopes ride on your shoulders. I'd hate to see them crushed.
Marth: Which one? Humanity's hopes, or my shoulders?
Something else you should enjoy while it lasts is the Ballistician class. It turns out that giving a unit 3-10 range with enough strength to one-shot weaker units despite inability to double and weapons that deal supereffective damage to two different classes is super broken even when shackled on someone with 4 move and an inability to promote.
-Fire Emblem: New Mystery of the Emblem ~Heroes of Light and Shadow~ Hyper Turbo Championship Game of the Year Edition, in addition to having a long, long title, is a very good game. The mechanics aren't much improved from FE11 (still no rescuing, god) but the map design is generally more interesting, units have more characterization thanks to a kinda sorta support system, and more units are viable. You can also make a My Unit named Gilgamesh who wields axes and send him on a quest to try out every hairstyle in Archanea. Which is like, finally.
The downside is that there aren't any playable Ballisticians and Marth is experienced anti-character development. By which I mean, he started off two-dimensional in FE11 and then this game sends him back to one-dimensional territory. I think part of that might be that the game's writers seemingly hated the emphasis FE11 put on sacrificing units and went out of their way to tear it apart in the script (also, FE12 seems to imply that FE11!Marth hacked the game to recruit everyone without anyone dying) but at times it borders on ridiculous. Marth conquered the world in FE11 and is generally seen as weak and barely capable in FE12. Whatever. Still a good game.
---
"You're childish. What are you getting? Are you getting strawberry? Ha! That's such a childish flavor, only children eat strawberry."
Liberal Arts Major
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Liberal Arts Major
Bought:
Bastion
Civ5 GOTY, and 3 other DLC packs
And Just Cause 2
...And I only spent $29...
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Liberal Arts Major
I'M GOING TO BE PLAYING UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
Just bought Humble Indie Bundle 7 <_<
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882
Liberal Arts Major
I started playing Binding of Isaac.
Good game. RAGE INDUCING DIFFICULT.
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
http://www.backloggery.com/kodan882