Editor
-Yeah so I collected all the Chaos Emeralds as planned, but Tails can't go super. This wasn't entirely unexpected. Tails doesn't have a hyper form, and I guess he needs the Super Emeralds just to go plain old super.
-Of note, at the end of Marble Garden Zone is I believe Tails' only unique boss. And even then, it's the same boss as Sonic's, just fought differently. You fly around and have to hit Eggman's mech from underneath with your tails. It's pretty dumb and I die a few times before I figure out how to do it reliably.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-Act 2 is still long as hell, though.
-Fighting this boss without the Electric Shield double jump or the insta-shield is sooooooo borrrrrrrrrring. Took like 3 minutes, I nearly got a time over.
-Blitzed through Ice Cap Zone while accumulating like 5 extra lives.
-Launch Base Zone has a ****ing ton of alternate routes and secrets. I spent like 6 minutes on Act 1 just dicking around, finding extra lives and shields and stuff.
-The bowling ball shooter killed me in a startling display of incompetence. v_v
-Onward to Mushroom Hill Zone and Super Tails!
-yesssssss Super Tails
-Oh my god, Super Tails + an Electric Shield is completely unstoppable.
-I like how, when Tails un-supers, the flickies also un-super.
-Super Tails has made Flying Battery Zone into a joke. <_<
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
-XD the boss of Sandopolis as Super Tails
Eggman: Flickies. My god.
-Lava Joke Zone
-Now, there is ONE THING I really want to do in Hidden Palace Zone. I figure... Knux is pretty much the biggest anticlimax boss fight in any video game, so I might as well make him even easier by going super. You only get about 43 rings in this Act, unless there are some hidden that I don't know about, but that's enough to go into the Bonus Stage and get plenty.
Super Tails vs. Knuckles, who ya got
-Amusingly, you un-super after the fight, and cannot go Super again for the rest of the act, even if you have 50+ rings. Why? I'd assume it has to do with the game's programming. You know the sequence where Eggman zaps Knuckles, where you can smack Eggman around but cannot stop him? Well, if you land 23 hits or some absurd number like that, he actually does die, and IIRC the game freezes. Normally this is completely impossible, but if you're Hyper Sonic or Super Tails, I dunno, maybe it's possible, and that's why they just took away your ability to hulk out. *shrug*
-Sky Sanctuary Zone is never hard, but with Super Tails, even the two annoying minibosses are jokes! <_<
-There's this one bottomless pit in Death Egg Zone that I ALWAYS fall in. -_-
-Luckily, I managed to be Super for the miniboss, so he did not destroy me. Hate that guy so much.
-Now, I would really like to go Super for the Robo Robotnik, but I know I'll run out of rings if I go into my Super form during the stupid gravity egg... sphere... whatever boss. So I'll need a shield, and a lot of rings, and I'm not entirely confident I can manage to have all that, since this level sorta kicks my ass. >_>
-...But I somehow pull it off, and go into the first boss fight with an Electric Shield and 100 rings!
-And my shield saves me!
-Fought Robo Robotnik with a Super form and 100 rings to fuel it. He didn't stand a chance. >_>
Eggman: Flickies. Why did it have to be flickies?!
-Destroyed the cowardmobile again, and watched the credits.
And that means that this game is 100% completed! Unless you expect me to have a 100% complete file for both Sonic & Tails and Sonic alone, in which case... fuck you. <_<
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Sonic 3 & Knuckles, click to show]Honorable 13. Knuckles' Ice Cap Zone
Fuck this zone.
12. Sandopolis Zone
There's pretty much an inverse correlation between how long a zone is and how much I like it. Sandopolis Zone is long as hell, and... yeah. Act 1 isn't long, it's pretty fun, I've got no problems with Act 1. Act 2 though. Goddammit, Act 2. I don't understand why it's like 9 minutes long. There is just no excusing that.
I honestly don't mind the ghosties (though they're sorta pointless because there are light switches everywhere), and I actually sort of like the sand that fills up certain areas, but together, and on top of the switch pushing... Ugh. It just takes so ****ing long.
On the bright side, it has one of my favorite bosses in the whole game.
11. Carnival Night Zone
Again, Act 1 I've got no problems with, but Act 2 is SO long. Probably the longest act in the entire game. But uh... really, this zone WANTS to be Casino Night Zone, but it's just not anywhere near as good. Casino Night Zone was awesome because it had pinball gadgetry, slot machines, and was just generally an awesome place to be where it was really hard to even die and the enemies were practically nonexistent. Carnival Night replaces all that with annoying-ass barrels that try to crush you, weird platforms that make you floaty, spikes, and some ****ing obnoxious enemies that are all over the level. All in all, it's worse than Casino Night in every possible way, including the boss fight. Casino Night had an awesome boss fight, this level's boss fight might as well be named "the wasting-your-time mobile".
10. Lava Reef Zone
Again, Act 1 is a lot better than Act 2. I actually really like Lava Reef Zone Act 1, and I like the platforming segment at the end of Act 2 (which is technically Act 3 or some ****), but the main part of Act 2 is just... ugh. Lots of crushers, and spikes, and fireballs, and spiked balls, the stupid moving blocks that everyone hated in Spring Yard Zone, and such. The theme of the level basically goes from "fire and lava" in Act 1 to "malice" in Act 2, and it's annoying. The worst part is, it's not even like Scrap Brain, where it's entertaining malice, because this is a much easier game. >_>
9. Marble Garden Zone
On one hand, lots of giant rings, normal rings, power-ups, and so forth... On the other hand, there are lots of stupid gimmicks. Even more than Sandopolis. The dumb blue spinning tops, the masks that shoot arrows, the forced scrolling segments, the spinners that change the nearby area... It's all just so terrible and pointless and makes the zone about 3 minutes longer than I need it to be.
Unlike the previous three zones though, I never get frustrated with this level, really, so it's got that going for it.
8. Angel Island Zone
This level's sort of unique in that it takes the "green" level and completely subverts it about a third of the way through, but all in all it's just the easiest level in a really easy game, and there's not much that makes it stand out. Completely inoffensive, but... honestly, even if Lava Reef, Sandopolis, Carnival Night, and Marble Garden sort of annoy me sometimes, I might prefer them to this, because at least they've got some danger and some interesting stuff to do.
7. Hydrocity Zone
You know, it's weird, if I were to judge the levels on their own merits as opposed to the game's merits (because obviously Sonic 3&K is a much better game than Sonic 1 and Sonic 2), I think Labyrinth Zone would be my favorite of the three water levels. I actually really like Labyrinth Zone because it's unique and difficult and really makes the most of being a water level. Hydrocity, like Aquatic Ruin, it sort of... a water level for people who hate water levels. Does anybody ever actually drown here? I seriously doubt it.
But yeah, fun zone, it's just sort of a generic level that was unnecessarily turned into a water level for some reason.
6. Mushroom Hill Zone
Nostalgia zone. I grew up with Sonic & Knuckles but I don't have a lot of memories about the other zones. This one, though. Nostalgia overload.
But anyway, I like this zone. The palette swaps keep it from getting boring to look at and I like bouncing on the mushrooms. It's a little bit boring compared to like... Ice Cap and Launch Base, but it's not Mushroom Hill's fault it's an intro level stuck in the middle of the game.
5. Flying Battery Zone
Fun zone. The only two things I really don't like are the stupid like... screw elevators or whatever you want to call them, the magnetized squashers, and the outside platforming segments. And there are only like two of the latter. Aside from that, the boss is fun, the level is fun, it's about the right difficulty... not too easy or too hard. All in all just a fun level.
4. Death Egg Zone
This zone has a lot of gimmicks, but unlike Sandopolis or Marble Garden, the gimmicks don't really break your stride. The elevators with spikes on the sides and bullets and such are hard, but at least they're fairly tense and require good timing and such, unlike those stupid blue tops in Marble Garden, for example. The only thing I really hate about this level are those things where you go flying off in like... a yellow energy tube that swirls you all around and takes like 45 seconds to carry you ten feet. Fuck those things.
3. Sky Sanctuary Zone
Possibly my favorite single act in the entire game. I almost didn't even include this in the ranking (like Hidden Palace and The Doomsday) but... whatever. Three bosses, lots of platforming, and it's really just a fun place to be. No real gimmicks - the biggest gimmick is that you're moving up instead of to the right - but a bunch of cool... objects, I guess. I especially like those bouncy clouds. Those are great. And, of course, boss fight with Metal Sonic at the end. If you're Knuckles, you don't play the main platforming part of this zone, but it's made up for by the fact that you fight Super Metal Sonic, one of the best bosses in the game. Awesome.
2. Ice Cap Zone
I really like ice levels in most games, and Ice Cap is a pretty good one. Honestly, I REALLY like the second act, it's the first one being slightly worse that drags this down to #2. But even the first act is really great compared to most other, non-Ice Cap Zone acts. Again, not many gimmicks, though this act does have my least favorite obstacle in the whole game: those stupid iceblowers. So annoying. And, as mentioned, Knuckles' version of Ice Cap Zone is awful. Just terrible. Get that outta here.
1. Launch Base Zone
Yep. Definitely an awesome level. I've got nothing bad to say about this level except for the following: first, like I said during my playthrough, I get disoriented here sometimes. And second, fuck those pink claw crusher things. I hate those so much. But that's okay, because this is the final level in Sonic 3, it is allowed to be hard, it's allowed to be huge and disorienting, it's allowed to have annoying crushers. ****ing Carnival Night Zone doesn't have a goddamn excuse for having so many crushers.
Also, I realy like this level's bosses. Not the twin laser boss, that thing's worthless, but the bowling ball shooter is awesome, and the crushermobile that Knuckles fights is pretty cool too. Really, just a great level, lots of alternate paths and stuff to find, and it definitely feels like a final level. Which is sort of weird if you're playing S3&K because it's just the midway point, but whatever.
...
Now, it's important to note that even though I was sort of harsh on a lot of these stages, if I were to rank my top 13 zones from Sonic 1, Sonic 2, and Sonic 3&K, it would look pretty much exactly the same as this list, except with Casino Night Zone at #1 and everything else moved down one slot accordingly. Other than Casino Night I really don't like any of the zones in Sonic 2, and even though I said I liked Labyrinth Zone more than Hydrocity Zone, S3&K is so much better than Sonic 1 that I wouldn't be able to justify putting any Sonic 1 zones on this... hypothetical list I'm talking about right now.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
More correct ranking list (Not 100% on this because it's been a long time since I played S3&K.)
14. Sandopolis Zone
13. Casino Night Zone
12. Marble Garden Zone
11. Launch Base Zone
10. Angel Island Zone
9. Sky Sanctuary Zone
8. Death Egg Zone
7. Mushroom Hill Zone
6. Hidden Palace Zone
5. Hydrocity Zone
4. Lava Reef Zone
3. Doomsday Zone
2. Ice Cap Zone
1. Flying Battery Zone
</spoiler>
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Liberal Arts Major
Awesome game being from BioWare. I'd totally recommend it. Definitely better then Mass Effect 2 :/
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
Liberal Arts Major
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Liberal Arts Major
Mass Effect 2 is basically a damn Gears of War clone. Seriously >_>
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
Liberal Arts Major
---
xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Liberal Arts Major
[Spoiler for Mass Effect 2, click to show]The combat system bugs me because it's fucking Gears of War.
Biotics and Techs suck.
Oh look... There's an enemy with shields! Biotics/Techs are useless :(
Yay! I took the shields down now I can us- Oh... It has armor... Biotics/Techs are still useless :(
YES! IT'S ARMOR IS GONE NOW I CAN USE BI- *enemy dies in 3 seconds*
Or
*Uses a skill*
*enemy ducks behind the wall at last minute*
*Spell hits the wall*
"...."
The item system was MASSIVELY dumbed down.
I mean, I went through about 60% of the game USING THE BASIC ARMOR YOU START WITH because I didn't realize you could change your gear in your cabin.
In Mass Effect that would be SUICIDE.
And there's... Like... What? 15 weapons total?
2 Pistols, 2 SMGs, 4 rifles, 3 shotguns, 3 Snipers, 5 Heavy weapons.
Clip System.
Why the fuck did they go backwards? I LIKED the over-heat system because it was unique, there was no god damn "SHIT I HAVE NO AMMO FOR ANY OF MY GUNS!" *Suicide rush to a dead enemy* bull shit in the original.
This was my most HATED change.
Legion was disappointing.
I expected another Shale or HK-47 >_> <_<
SCANNING. FUCKING. PLANETS.
MASSIVE lack of sidequests.
Seriously, 80% of the entire game is just collecting your team members and doing their loyalty missions -_-
Lack of Geth missions. (Yes I'm aware there are a few)
Increase in "security bots" as a substitute for Geth.
THOSE ROBOT SECURITY DOGS ARE LITERALLY THE DUMBEST FUCKING THING I'VE EVER SEEN
Krogans.
What the fuck happened to Krogans? Seriously. I got all the way up to Grunt's sidequest wondering where the Krogans were, and hoping for some good Krogan fights, only to find to my horror that I had been fighting Krogans ALL along.
THEY WENT FROM TERRORS TO PUSSY CATS.
I hate every single new team member except for Legion, Grunt and Mordin.
Jack is too emo.
Thane is annoying to talk to.
Jacob is gay.
Miranda is a stuck up whore.
Samara is a goody twoshoes.
Zaeed is basically... There.
Class system sucks.
</spoiler>
[Spoiler for Massive game story spoilers that deserves it's own section do not click if you haven't played, click to show]Lack of OTHER character interaction during Loyalty missions.
Seriously. Legion going on Tali's loyalty mission should have caused a FUCKING SHIT STORM. Not "oh it's a geth but it's with Tali so its ok we won't hold it against the people who brought the destroyers of our home planet onto the flotilla!"
</spoiler>
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
Editor
[Spoiler for Sonic Chaos, click to show]So, there are really only three things you need to know about this game:
1. The Zones. They're short. Three acts, but the first two acts are about 1 minute long each, if you take your time.
2. The Special Stages. You enter them by getting 100 rings while Sonic. If you're Tails, you get an extra life at 100 rings instead, since Tails is easy mode. I didn't feel like dealing with Special Stages, so I picked Tails. <_<
3. While the normal levels are easy as ****, the bosses are ****ing annoying. Act 3s are all sort of clever, because you need to find the rings if you want any - they're not just handed to you. Adds a nice puzzle element. After the first boss, who is easily one of the most pathetic bosses in the series (picture the first boss from Sonic 2 but slower, with no drill, and a spring on its back), the rest are annoying. Especially of note is the boss of the third zone, who jumps around constantly, fires shots at you constantly, and, as I found out as a child, his shots stay on the screen after he dies. This boss always kicked my ass as a kid. <_<
Also of note is the final boss, who has two forms. The first jumps around and shoots bouncing bullets at you. And takes about 30 hits to kill. That is not a typo. If you get hit, he'll also stand on your ring so you can't get it back. Oh, and unlike other bosses in the series, he WILL squash you against the wall if you let him. This, combined with his second form, makes me believe Sonic Chaos takes place after every other Sonic game, as Eggman has clearly become Dangerously Genre Savvy.
The second form. A fairly normal, flying Egg-o-matic. Takes one hit to kill. Sounds easy, right? Did I mention it charges at you from off the screen, with no set pattern of WHERE it attacks from, no warning, and kills you in one hit? Even if you have rings? Pretty sure it's the only boss in the entire series that can kill Sonic in one hit even if he has rings.
So, I said the game is short. It took me about an hour to beat. Of that hour, I spent 40 minutes on the final boss. Yep.
But in any case, the game is beaten now! yaaaay
Oh, if for some reason you're curious about this game, check out this video LP by someone who is a much better player than I am:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRMgFti5JHs
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
So, the Special Stages in Sonic Chaos. Like I said, you need to get 100 rings as Sonic to enter a Special Stage. How do they work here? What is the new minigame? Well... it's sort of interesting, really. There isn't one. All of the Special Stages work differently, though they're all timed and involve locating the Emerald somehow.
1. Uses the jet boots powerup. Definitely the easiest one, you don't even need to touch the controls at all. You fly to the right, get a ton of rings, and the Chaos Emerald is right there at the end of the area. If you fail this one, god help you.
2. Uses the pogo spring powerup. There are two main paths, one you can just climb normally, and one that requires chain-pogoing. Naturally, the former will lead to a giant "fuck you", where you can see the Emerald but have no way of getting to it, and not enough time to go all the way back down and back up the correct way. But once you figure that out, it's really easy.
3. Uses the weird tubes from Electric Egg Zone that I really don't like. (Think the tubes from Chemical Plant, except with places where the path splits and you need to hold a certain direction.) Luckily, there's a trick here. Just hold up, and you don't even need to do anything. You'll be deposited right next to the Emerald.
4. By far the hardest one. Uses the jet boots again, but the time limit is so strict, and the GameGear's tiny screen makes it really hard to know where you're going and where the next jet boots powerup is.
5. Another tube maze, but what no trick. Still, eventually you should be able to figure it out.
6. You get this Emerald upon defeating Eggman if you have the other five.
As a note, going for the Chaos Emeralds makes the game even shorter, because succeeding or failing at a Special Stage advances you to the next act automatically. "lol"
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IWWuSQWldGs&feature=related
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Liberal Arts Major
Using of the provided cheats, I hacked Adult Link into Kid Links areas and got a humorous moment.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Kodan882/gamingstuff/UNINTENTIONALLYFUNNY.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v504/Kodan882/gamingstuff/UNINTENTIONALLYFUNNY2.jpg
<->
"What the fuck is Alice doing in Wonderland anyway? Who the fuck told her she could leave the god damn kitchen in the first place?" -Random guy on Xbox Live
Liberal Arts Major
Biotics and Techs suck.
Oh look... There's an enemy with shields! Biotics/Techs are useless :(
Yay! I took the shields down now I can us- Oh... It has armor... Biotics/Techs are still useless :(
YES! IT'S ARMOR IS GONE NOW I CAN USE BI- *enemy dies in 3 seconds*
Yes, this is true.
Or
*Uses a skill*
*enemy ducks behind the wall at last minute*
*Spell hits the wall*
"...."
I can't really complain about that though because honestly that's how it should work. I'm not going to complain if the AI is actually smarter.
The item system was MASSIVELY dumbed down.
I mean, I went through about 60% of the game USING THE BASIC ARMOR YOU START WITH because I didn't realize you could change your gear in your cabin.
In Mass Effect that would be SUICIDE.
And there's... Like... What? 15 weapons total?
2 Pistols, 2 SMGs, 4 rifles, 3 shotguns, 3 Snipers, 5 Heavy weapons.
I actually probably prefer the simpler system, but they did go overkill on this. Mass Effect 1 had way more items/upgrades than was necessary. Mass Effect 2 just went a decent bit too far in trying to correct that. Plus, I didn't like the fact that in a number of cases I had to choose between the utility of stats against the appearance of Shepard's armor but overall I can't really complain too much.
Clip System.
Overheat was "better" in the sense that it made the game so much easier, and eventually you could completely and utterly break it entirely. (I also wouldn't call the overheat system unique at all, and even if it were this wouldn't really matter to me, so long as the system is good I don't care if it had been used 1000 times before) That said, I did prefer it, but optimally, I think a fusion of the two would have been ideal, which is how I had originally figured the system would work when I heard about the change. Which is, in general you would have the overheat system as the main thing, but you'd have a limited number of "clips" when if you decided to use one, it would "reset" the overheat meter immediately. Once you were out of clips you'd be stuck with the overheat entirely until you found some more.
As it was, I was disappointed with the Clip System as it was compared to that ideal, but compared straight against the Mass Effect 1 Overheat it's about a draw. Any annoyance I had was because it would trade being broken and easy to actually requiring strategy from time to time.
Legion was disappointing.
I expected another Shale or HK-47 >_> <_<
Legion was the 3rd best character in the game (behind Tali and Garrus). By a mile. He's not HK-47, but then, that's setting the bar way too high. Besides, an HK-47 personality out of him would... not really work, IMO. Legion is far better as he is. He's still definitely a quality character.
SCANNING. PLANETS.
It's pretty bad but Mineral Hunting/Optional Worlds in Mass Effect 1 was terrible too. Scanning planets at least was such a trivial, mindless activity that I could kind of stop paying attention while still doing it so it was less obnoxious.
MASSIVE lack of sidequests.
Seriously, 80% of the entire game is just collecting your team members and doing their loyalty missions -_-
Mass Effect 1 really didn't have many quality sidequests either. Collecting Party Members and Loyalty Missions tended to have a high frequency of being around Virmire-Tier from Mass Effect 1, which is to say it was way better than anything else in Mass Effect 1. Archangel Recruitment, and Tali's Loyalty Mission are probably the best two segments in the entire series. And there's a number of other missions that aren't too far behind. I can't exactly complain here, because those missions were generally incredible.
Lack of Geth missions. (Yes I'm aware there are a few)
Well, yes. I would have preferred that, but eh.
Increase in "security bots" as a substitute for Geth.
Can't really complain here. Random enemies are random enemies and if they were Geth that would only raises a lot more questions for the most part, the Geth showing up as your standard generic enemy would make no sense plot wise.
I got all the way up to Grunt's sidequest wondering where the Krogans were, and hoping for some good Krogan fights, only to find to my horror that I had been fighting Krogans ALL along.
THEY WENT FROM TERRORS TO PUSSY CATS.
Again, I can't really agree with this complaint. Were Krogans nerfed? Yeah, but this doesn't strike me as a real problem.
I hate every single new team member except for Legion, Grunt and Mordin.
Tali and Garrus are without a doubt the best two characters in the game, and I will be infuriated if they don't return as party members in Mass Effect 3.
Legion is only a step below them and I kind of wished you could have 3 party members at a time just so he could be on my team with the above two.
Mordin was likely the next best, and definitely a great character.
Samara was good, as was Thane.
The human characters (Jack/Jacob/Miranda) were more or less lamers, but then, this seems to be a Mass Effect Tradition, because Ashley/Kaidan were by far the weak links of the Mass Effect 1 cast, and this trio still beats theme easily.
As for Grunt, I didn't really like him, and would probably group him with the human characters in a ranking. He just felt like a really, really poor Wrex replacement with no real purpose. He's arguably the only one of the group I could rank Kaidan over.
Class system sucks.
I couldn't quite say, I only played as Vanguard so far.
Lack of OTHER character interaction during Loyalty missions.
I admit this would have been a great improvement but its absence for the most part isn't exactly something I can knock entirely.
Legion in particular had a lot of wasted potential for the hilarity he could have caused. But again, I can't really attack the game for missing this. Did it prevent it from being something better? Yes, definitely. But it's not something that was going to entirely cause me to slam it.
</spoiler>
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xp1337: Don't you wish there was a spell-checker that told you when you a word out?
Editor
So. Random Kenri trivia: Before I became hopelessly obsessed with Pokemon, I was hopelessly obsessed with Power Rangers. I had tons of action figures which I played with so much that they were literally falling apart and held together only by tape and willpower, I had a bunch of the elaborate toys of the Zords, I had Power Rangers mini action sets or whatever those things are called, Power Rangers bedsheets, a Power Rangers backpack, etc etc etc. And, of course, Power Rangers video games. Now, there was one for the Genesis, called Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie: The Game, which was an awesome, awesome beat 'em up and one of my favorite games as a kid. Then there was Mighty Morphin Power Rangers for the GameGear, a weird... fighting game/beat 'em up hybrid that isn't very good. LET'S PLAY IT!
[Spoiler for Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (GameGear), click to show]Here's how this works. There are 7 stages. With the exception of the last one, they all work like this, with minor variations:
1. A bunch of Putties attack you, one at a time. They die 1-2 hits at the beginning of the game and 1-4 hits near the end.
2. Goldar swoops in and fights you until he reaches half health, at which point he retreats.
3. You fight the level's boss.
4. The level's boss grows and you fight it again in a Zord.
Now, in Stage 3 and 4 are the Evil Green Ranger (yessssssssssss) saga. These are slightly different, but it's not really worth talking about. Except that, yes, Rita grows the Green Ranger and he takes on the Megazord by himself. It's pretty awesome. At the end of Stage 4, Tommy becomes one of your playable characters. This is awesome for one reason that we'll get to in a bit.
Speaking of playable characters, they're all the same with minor variations. I like Jason because it he has a kick combo that destroys bosses sometimes. My two favorite characters - Kimberly and Tommy - are pretty worthless by comparison, so I stuck to Jason pretty much the entire game. <_<
I said his combo "destroys bosses sometimes". I'm not gonna lie - this game has a lot of nostalgia for me, but the combat is, at best, shoddy. Things only work the way you expect them to about a third of the time. Another third, things don't work the way you expect them to. And the final third, things work the way you don't expect them to. Your best bet is to pick a button and just spam it and pray. When the boss gets staggered - which happens randomly, as far as I can tell - you can attempt one of your special moves, but don't count it on it working.
The enemies, on the other hand, can pull off every technique flawlessly to the frame while upside down and blindfolded, so later in the game, you will have the enjoyment of watching a Putty jump on screen, immediately throw your character before you can do anything, jump kick that characters as he recovers, combo half his health bar away, then throw him again immediately after he's done recovering, then teleport away to prevent you from even killing the bastard. You recover a tiny bit of health whenever you kill a Putty, so they teleport away after a set amount of time just to fuck with you further. Did I mention you have to fight like 16+ of these guys before you can even fight Goldar or the boss? Yep.
But the BEST thing about this game's combat is that all your enemies have AT Fields. I make that joke for pretty much every game, but it's especially true here. Sometimes you'll attack them and the hit will be blue instead of yellow, which is code for "didn't do shit, captain". Why does this happen? What triggers it? Why does it only happen sometimes? Who knows? I certainly don't. And as far as I know, your character does not have the ability to block. At all.
This is all normal level shenanigans. When you're in a Zord, it's just a normal one on one fight. No Putties. The same level of bullshit applies, though. However, once you recruit Tommy, instead of being forced into the Megazord, you can pick between three: the Megazord, the Dragonzord, and the Dragonzord F (which I honestly don't remember at all from the show but whatever). The regular Dragonzord is what you want to pick, because pressing 1+2 triggers a tail attack that is A) fairly fast, B) highly damaging, C) spammable, and D) possible to use as the enemy is recovering in order to chain-gank them. It's great. I give it an A+.
The final level is notable for being a boss rush, but it's also NOT notable because all the bosses, even the final boss, are piss easy compared to the boss of Stage 6. But whatever, not complaining about that. Point is, I beat the game, and there's nothing to do other than beat it, so it is also completed. Not bad.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Jurassic Park (GameGear), click to show]This game, for me at least, is really fun. I know I liked it a lot as a kid, too; it was definitely my favorite GG game aside from maaaybe Sonic. But anyway, it's fun, it's short, and it's easy, so let's go.
The basic premise is that you are Jurassic Park Guy and you need to go tranquilize a bunch of dinosaurs who have been wrecking **** up for some reason. I dunno. I haven't seen Jurassic Park in like, 10 years, and I'm pretty sure this game doesn't even follow the plot very well. BUT ANYWAY. The game is divided into four levels (actually five, but we'll get to that in a sec). Like in Mega Man or some such, you get to pick which order to do the levels in. Each level is named after its boss, which is your dinosaur target. The levels are split into three parts: first is the vehicle segment. Basically, you're in a car, but you don't control the car, no, you control some crosshairs, and you need to shoot down all the dinosaurs that come after your little jeep. It's pretty fun the first couple of times, but after a while, all the levels are sort of the same and it's really kinda pointless. The big thing about this is that it gives you an opportunity to increase your max health. You start with 3 health at the start of every stage, but by shooting down certain dinosaurs then shooting powerups they drop, you can increase your health to a max of 5. You can also earn one 1-Up the same way, and another 1-Up by ending the jeep segment at full health. There is a boss at the end of each vehicle segment, but with the exception of one, they all suck and are never threatening at all.
The main game plays like a mix of... I dunno, Contra and Castlevania, or some such. It's 2D sidescrolling with minor exploration elements. Some levels are straight paths, others have large open areas that are annoyingly nonlinear. You have three weapons during these segments: your tranquilizer gun, which shoots a giant projectile shaped like a ) straight ahead. Your concussive grenade launcher, which fires a grenade diagonally up, which then explodes horizontally. And finally, you have flares, which you throw and then they explode upwards in a pillar of fire. The tranq gun is the weakest, but the best for most situations. The grenade launcher is stronger but really only useful for flying enemies and other enemies that happen to be above you. The flares are... not useful, even if they're the most powerful. They take forever to throw and they're just terrible. There's really only like two enemies in the entire game that you'll want to use these on.
Make your way to the end of an action stage and you'll get to the boss fight. I'd say this is the best part of the game, because all the bosses require different strategies and they're all pretty fun (except the last one, but again, we'll get to that in a sec). Your targets are: The brachiosaur, which you fight from a raft and have to shoot with the grenade launcher when it comes out of the water. The velociraptor, which displays its cunning ability to open doors - there are four doors and you shoot it when it comes out of one before it can get you. The pteranodon takes place on an upwardly scrolling series of tree branches and will divebomb you from off-screen; use the grenade launcher when it appears. And finally, the triceratops, which will you charge at you - you should jump onto one of the platforms, avoid its attacks, then jump down and shoot it in the back when it turns around.
Now, you might be wondering: what of the T. rex? Well, if you beat all four stages without using a continue, you can go to Stage 5: The Visitor's Center. Let me tell you something about this level. It sucks and is horrible. It's a huge maze of doors that is extremely confusing, the enemies drop tokens that give you -1 Continue if you pick them up, and it just sucks and isn't fun at all. And the boss fight, the iconic Tyrannosaurus Rex, is equally terrible. You have to use the concussion grenades to knock crates onto its head while it stomps around trying to knock crates onto YOUR head. That sounds dumb, but it gets even dumber when you realize that it's really just a battle of attrition. You can't dodge its attacks so you have to just have enough Medkits (when used from your inventory, restores all your health) to survive. It's not hard, but it IS stupid.
But the rest of the game is really fun, so I can forgive a shitty final level! And the game is now, finally, after however many years of owning it, completed. It really shouldn't have taken me so long. God, I was so fucking terrible at games as a kid, it's really pathetic... >_>
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
[Spoiler for Adventures of Batman & Robin (GameGear), click to show]Well... No, not exactly.
To say that this game has absolutely no redeeming factors would be unfair. For instance, the hard plastic casing makes it perfect for throwing at people you don't like, and in a pinch it can be stuck under the short leg of a wobbly table. In terms of actually PLAYING it, though, it's just about as terrible as you can imagine and then some.
For example, every single enemy in the game is impossible to kill without getting hurt, which isn't helped by the fact that your moves are seemingly chosen at random from your (surprisingly large!) total movepool, based on proximity to the enemy, whether the enemy is attacking, proximity to walls, proximity to floors, proximity to ceilings, proximity to air, which directions you're pressing, which directions you're NOT pressing, current phase of the moon, your astrological sign, and a number picked at random from between 0 and 37,000. Fortunately every move of yours is equally worthless so it doesn't really matter which move it picks for you!
Now, Batman wouldn't be Batman if he didn't have the ability to use a double jump, so the game's devs have thoughtfully included one. Unfortunately it is the most poorly planned double jump in the history of double jumps. Unlike other double jumps, where you press jump again at the peak of your jump, because that actually makes sense, this game uses a system where you double tap jump to do a standing double jump. It works rarely. And if you want to move in a direction while doing this, your options are "pray" and "stop playing the game".
In addition, each level is extremely poorly designed, each being one giant room with multiple floors, some of which can be dropped or jumped through while others can't, moving platforms that don't go anywhere, walls placed seemingly at random which might or might not be in the background, things you can hang from for no reason, things you can't hang from that look like things you can hang from, the possibility that you might or might not be able to stand on either of the previous two, and enemies that disappear or reappear seemingly for no reason at all placed in the most random locations.
The best part, though, are the bosses, which are basically just battles of attrition where you can never tell if you're actually doing damage to the boss, or how close the boss is to defeat, until it just decides to explode at some point. Mercifully, the devs have decided to make it so the bosses don't regain life when you die against them. Or maybe that's a glitch. I'm not complaining either way. Unfortunately, you only have 9 lives, and I lost like 4 against the second boss. LUCKILY, we have passwords to skip straight to any stage with a full 9 lives, and I plan to abuse the fuck out of that feature.
Why am I playing this game, again?
Because I can.
Oh, and it's worth mentioning because of my other topic: this game has no music. At least none worth talking about. Fantastic.
And you're not getting writeups for any part of the first three levels except the boss fights. Fuck you if you want me to do that.
Miniboss:
Chesire cat
I just spammed Batarangs at it until it died while it spammed ki blasts at me. terrible.
Miniboss:
Hookah smoking caterpillar
Its attacks are impossible to dodge and take off 1/5th of your health. Yeah. I died here like 4 or 5 times.
BOSS FIGHT:
MAD HATTER
It's right around now that I realize I should probably be spamming my special weapons against these bosses. Yeah, that's the other thing about this game. If you want to use weapons that are better than your shitty starting Batarang, you have to explore the messes this game calls levels and find ammo for them. Fuck this game.
Mad Hatter goes down to 11 Electric Stars, though. Why was the second boss, a MINIBOSS, capable of taking off 1/5th of my health with each attack, while this guy basically just threw peanuts at me until I killed him? Who knows. I repeat: FUCK THIS GAME.
So, apparently there are three main levels in this game, each divided into 3 acts. God, I can only hope it's that few. But anyway. Mad Hatter was level 1. Mr. Freeze is level 2. I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW THEY RUIN MY FAVORITE BATMAN VILLAIN.
Frozen Hell Zone
Act 1
It's like they asked themselves, "how can we make our extremely shitty game even worse?" and eventually decided, "I know! ELEVATOR PUZZLES!"
Miniboss:
Iceskating transexual?
Fuck this game.
Basically, you hit him(?) once, then he starts skating towards you and becomes invincible, then he kicks you, then you can hit him once, all while the game tries to scroll to keep up with him but fails miserably at doing it competently. It's a pretty easy pattern but the controls are so godawful that you WILL get hit anyway. And sometimes you get stuck on a wall for 20-30 seconds and can't do anything. I pretty much just spammed Throwing Stars until he exploded. Hey, isn't Batman supposed to like... NOT kill people? I dunno.
Batman got through
Act 1
Frozen Hell Zone
Act 2
...I immediately get hit as the level begins. Wow. Fuck you, game. Luckily there's a full health powerup right nearby.
Blind double jumps onto moving platforms from platforms that break? I THINK SO
Fuck this game.
BOSS FIGHT:
MR. FREEZE
Um, aren't you the big bad of this area, dude? What are you doing here at the end of Act 2?
I actually sorta like this boss, even if he's fucking NOTHING LIKE THE REAL MR. FREEZE. He's just a guy with a big cannon that moves up and down. I actually thought he was Firefly for a second. It's sorta clever, though, and not too offensive. God my standards are so low for this game. I kill him with 9 Explosives.
Batman got through
Act 2
Oh, I guess that's the end of this area. Huh. Wonder why Mad Hatter got three acts while Freeze only got two? Oh wait. I don't give a shit.
Illusory Nightmare Zone
Act 1
Scarecrow time. This. This is sure to be pleasant.
...You know, I was being sarcastic, but that was actually really enjoyable. I'm honestly amazed. If the game's controls, mechanics, hit detection, physics, combat, and so forth were better, that would have been a fantastic level. Not a bunch of enemies or stupid mazes, it was more like an incredibly linear obstacle course that didn't even require a lot of double jumping or blind jumps. I also enjoyed when I landed on a bed of spikes and they didn't damage me. Game, you are a silly, silly game.
Miniboss:
Prison Security Grid
This guy's pretty fun too. It's really just two walls of doodads that shoot you, but they're really easy to kill.
Batman got through
Act 1
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Illusory Nightmare Zone
Act 2
This is Castlevania. It's not even trying to not be Castlevania. Luckily there are A) no stairs and B) abundant full health powerups.
BOSS FIGHT:
SCARECROW
...He has some stupid-ass rolling pumpkin projectiles. I threw bolas at him until he exploded.
Batman got
through Act 2
Theme Park Night Zone
Act 1
This isn't an amusement park at all! There's no park and I'm not amused! I also got lost for like 30 minutes and started to believe the game was unwinnable. Turns out it just didn't feel like spawning a moving platform I needed to progress the first 18 times. I don't say it enough: fuck this game.
Miniboss:
Projectile disabling toy plane
This is a glitchy boss. First of all, none of your projectiles work for some reason, but trying to use them still consumes ammo. Second, the plane only rarely does its attack animation. Sometimes you just get hit for no reason. And finally, it flies out of reach, so you need to do a double jump flying kick attack. I died at least once against this stupid-ass boss.
Batman got
through Act 1
Theme Park Night Zone
Act 2
Not nearly as bad as Act 1 but still really ****ing bad. Fuck this game so much. Still, pretty much just more of the same.
Miniboss:
Flying clown
He/she hits for 1/5th of my health and his/her projectiles are so hard to dodge. Dammit. Luckily, explosives get rid of him/her.
(The actual name of this stage is "Harley Quinn Fight", so I guess that's supposed to be Harley, but it looks NOTHING like her.)
Batman got
through Act 2
Theme Park Night Zone
Act 3
3 lives, and this SHOULD be the final level.
...And ya know, it's really not too bad. This game has a really weird difficulty curve. It starts out fucking hard, but it never gets any harder. In fact, some of the stages in the middle were really easy. Huh. But anyway, I found two lives along the way, but died once, so 4 lives going into the final boss.
THE FINAL BOSS:
THE JOKER
He teleports in, because of course, he wouldn't be the Joker if he couldn't teleport. I pretty much just spam explosives while he spams fireballs, and eventually he dies.
I now present to you, the game's entire ending:
[static screen of the silhouettes of Batman and Robin, from the title screen]
"Thanks for the help, Batman."
"Don't mention it, kid. All in a day's work."
[cut to the death screen, but with Joker instead of Batman. Joker looks around, then runs off-screen, which I guess implies that he got away, in case we couldn't fuckin' guess that that would happen]
[credits roll, I forcefully press the fast-forward key]
Yup.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Reposting the previous list, now with new commentary:
Resident Evil 4 -
Half-Life 2 -
Sonic 2
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
...I'm pretty sure I'm going to beat like, 3 more levels, at most, then get frustrated and stop playing, but whatever!
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
I beat the first two floors last night. The first is really straightforward, all the enemies are piss weak, etc. The second floor is a huge step up and confusing as hell. Yeah. This game is gonna be a problem for me. On the bright side, I got the big gun and you can just restart from the beginning of a floor if you die and want to keep your items/ammo.
Floor 3 is ****ing massive and has a lot of alternate routes, so after I died once I just said **** it and made a beeline for the key and then the exit.
Floor 4 is fairly big, but it's made up of a lot of small rooms, so it's much more manageable.
Floor 5 is straightforward except at the end. You can either escape to Floor 6, or go through a secret passage to this whole other wing of the floor. I was running a bit low on health and ammo so I didn't want to deal with all of that. Not like I really care about score, anyway.
I tried Floor 6 and actually did really well before I got killed by a Blue Shirt around the corner. If there is a Blue Shirt around the corner and you don't know, you are ****ing dead. There's nothing you can do. You just die. Sadly, I didn't even find the key on that run, so I'll have to fumble through the level yet again. -_-
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Floor 7 isn't really hard, I mean, I didn't die on it, so how hard can it be? But I don't like it very much, because it's a lot of big rooms and branching hallways where it's so easy to get ambushed and die unexpectedly. That probably led to me being really careful and thus not dying, oddly enough.
Floor 8 is a good floor, though. It's a good mix of big areas and small rooms, good level of difficulty, and health is abundant. Seriously, there are like two extra lives on this floor alone. (Extra lives put you at full health and give you like 25 ammo in addition to giving you a useless extra life.)
Floor 9 is a big room with no enemies that leads to a door that contains the chapter's boss.
BOSS FIGHT:
HANS GROSSE
Basically a slab of meat with two bigass guns and no personality. AKA every main character from every FPS ever made, but as a boss enemy. He's pretty dangerous, but I had enough health that I was able to just unload on him, and his AI was dumb enough to get caught on a wall a couple times and make him easy pickings.
With Hans Grosse defeated, Wolfenstein 3D Guy opens up a secret passage for an extra life (there was another secret you could get before that boss that had a lot of ammo and health, though both of mine were already maxed so I didn't bother) and then runs out the door to freedom!
...Yeah, I missed Floor 10. You need to find a secret passage to it on Floor 1. I am a fool. I guess I'll uh... do all these later, or something, I'm not even sure what the point of them is. Might just be for extra lives and ****, in which case, **** it.
Anyway. Plot! Wolfenstein 3D Guy meets up with his buddies and is told that regular Nazis weren't bad enough for this game, so now the Nazis have mutant allies. And we can't have any of that. So Chapter 2 involves shutting down their mutant productions once and for all. That's not the last departure from reality in this game, though, god no. Suffice to say, Stupid Jetpack Hitler makes an appearance.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Secret Floor: Huge and labyrinthine. I'm actually pretty stupid, I think you can just leave immediately, like ten seconds after you enter, but I assumed you needed a key, so I searched the entire floor for the nonexistent key. lolz. This did allow me to pick up some treasure and such, though.
Floor 2-2: I was literally on the last room when I assumed I had cleared out all the mutants but I hadn't and then I got killed when I was drawn into a one vs one fight with it. Yeah, we're not going to talk about this one. I will redo the entire level... sometime tomorrow, maybe.
You want to know something hilarious? The PC version let you save whenever you want. The GBA version took that out. They made the save system less convenient in a portable game that was released ten years after the original. This is why I can never be a professional game reviewer, I would just give any game that does bullshit like this a zero on principle so that maybe developers would learn that lack of the ability to save anywhere has been completely unacceptable ever since the SNES was released.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Floor 2-3: I then went to this level and beat it. I think I might have actually gotten a perfect. Get all the treasure, all the secrets, and kill every enemy? That's a perfect. I usually don't bother since all you get are meaningless points. Of note, this level features a long hallway with eight little nooks, four on each side, that have mutants hiding in them. FUCK THAT SO HARD. And you do need to go all the way through that room to get the key, there is no avoiding it. I would have been INFURIATED if I had died there. I swear, my heart was going at like a hundred miles an hour.
Floor 2-4: I... think I beat this level, but I'm not sure. I definitely played it. It's actually sort of novel, but really annoying, at least in the beginning. You start out in a big room and are almost immediately assaulted by a half dozen mutants and a couple guards. If you can survive that, it's actually fairly simple; they give you like 2 extra lives and quite a few healing items. You still have to pay attention but it's nothing you haven't done before. So yeah. I'm pretty sure I did beat this one.
Okay, that was last night. Today I accomplished... nothing!
Floor 2-5: I started this one but got killed and thus never finished it. It's pretty hard, but I sorta like it, because it's the big swastika level with four main areas. Just sort of a nice change of pace.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Floor 2-6: This one, though. Ugh. I don't like this. Lots of hallways? This is stupid.
Floor 2-7: And this one. I REALLY like this one. You can go off and do a bunch of **** involving long, wide, sprawling hallways where you need precognition in order to not die from enemy ambushes... or you can skip all that and just end the level in about 45 seconds. I tried the optional stuff once, got killed due to something I had no control over, and just said **** it and escaped without bothering with any of that.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
http://www.gamefaqs.com/pc/564603-wolfenstein-3d/faqs/40066
See what I mean? Floor 2-8 has a ****ing ENORMOUS maze of secret passages. This, right here, is why I am not going for 100% completion (well, one reason of many). First of all, I don't ****ing want to get ANYWHERE NEAR THAT. Second of all, even if I wanted to, I can't get 100% completion, because of how secret passages work - they'll move on top of treasure, thus preventing you from collecting all of it. So yeah.
Floor 2-9: Two secret passages. One leads to a chaingun and all the ammo you could ever want. The other leads to a metric ****ton of health pickups. Moving forward, there are four mutants, the last mutants we will be fighting in Wolfenstein 3D (thank god!), and after them, the boss.
BOSS FIGHT:
DR. SCHABBS
This guy throws knives at you. They inflict 25 damage. You have 100 max health. It's a problem. He also has a lot more health than Hans Grosse. Luckily, his projectiles are pretty slow, so you can dodge them fairly easily, and run away if need be. I ended up having to retreat for more health and ammo twice, but after emptying about 250 bullets into him, he went down.
Story-wise (yeah, as if anyone gives a **** about this game's stupid-ass story...) this means Hitler's army of mutant undead IS NO MORE! But we still need to find Hitler himself and stop him. That's Chapter 3, aptly named Die, Fuhrer, Die! in a delicious pun.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Floor 3-1 through 3-5: All of these are extremely simple and not challenging. I don't think I even died once on any of them. However, I would like to introduce you to someone very special...
The White Shirt.
The White Shirt is the last "normal" enemy in the game. He hits super hard, runs super fast, and zig-zags at you. He is annoying as ****. Not as bad as the mutants, though.
http://www.gamefaqs.com/pc/564603-wolfenstein-3d/faqs/40068
Floor 3-6: This, though. I don't like this! I don't like any floor with a big maze like that. Terrible.
Floor 3-7: Getting to the normal exit is actually really simple. I COULD go through that huge-ass maze to the Secret Floor... but I don't wanna. Fuck that.
Floor 3-8: This one is sorta interesting. It's big, but it's not very maze-like, which is good.
Floor 3-9: There's a chaingun and a lot of ammo in the starting area, never a good sign! I charge forward and am immediately confronted by WIZARD HITLER who throws fireballs at me! (it's entirely possible these are supposed to be rockets or something) But I kill him easily enough. In fact, that was a huge anticlimax.
Uh...
Doesn't the floor usually end when the boss dies?
Oh well. Might as well move forward and OH GOD ANOTHER HITLER! Well, that's probably the last one, right?
...Yeeeah.
Let me introduce you to Hitler's Ghost. There are five or so of these minibosses on this floor, and while you can avoid some of them, I really don't recommend it, because they guard health and ammo pickups. And no, I don't know how a living being can have a ghost, much less multiple ghosts. Then again, Nazi science does sneer at the boundary between life and death...
Anyway, moving onward, we find the REAL Hitler.
BOSS FIGHT:
ARMORED HITLER
Yep.
This is Hitler.
In a suit of power armor.
Wielding quadruple chainguns.
Goddammit.
He's actually pretty easy, though. Mainly because he's slow and a big target. On the other hand, he takes a LOT of bullets to bring down, and I started running low pretty quickly. But even once you break his armor, he's not done yet...
BOSS FIGHT:
HITLER
He's still capable of dual wielding chainguns and is now faster. Or at least it seems that way. Did I mention there are like four White Shirts in his boss room, also? Yeah, they're pretty annoying. I actually ran out of ammo and had to flee, but then I couldn't find enough in the beginning rooms, so I had to flee BACK to Hitler's room and steal some ammo from there. And then I lost track of Hitler and had to go search for him but he ambushed me and NEARLY killed me. But then it turned out that he was like 5 bullets away from death, so I didn't really need to do all that ammo searching after all. Whoops. Better safe than sorry, in any case.
So Hitler is dead. Roll credits, right? Well...
...I'm not 100% sure how it works, but my understanding of it is that the first release of Wolfenstein 3D was shareware and was only the first episode. Episodes 2-3 could then be mail ordered. But then if you bought the game (the real PC version, not this ****ty GBA port), you got the first three episodes, and also got the Nocturnal Missions, episodes 4-6, which are sort of like an expansion pack or something. I think they take place before Episode 1, chronologically, because it wouldn't make much sense for Hitler to be the mid-boss, even though he sort of is anyway. Ah, well.
...You know, I really don't want to play these last three episodes without better save functionality, but I figure I might as well give it a shot. What could possibly go wrong?
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
Floor 4-1: This one actually gave me a lot of trouble, because you're forced to take down two Blue Shirts with just your pistol (well, your other option is taking on like 5 White Shirts with just your pistol, which is... much worse). It's a problem, and it's realllly easy to die there. After killing them, though, I stole a Machine Gun from their corpses and continued with the level. I eventually found a Chaingun, thank god, and moved on to Floor 2.
(Fact: The start of each episode counts as starting a new "game", so none of your items or score transfer over.)
Floor 4-2: This one, though. I like this one. It's actually not nearly as long as it looks, though I hear it's kind of a problem if you're trying to 100% it. Luckily I am not.
I also went back to Episode 1 on a different file and got the Secret Floor. It was pretty long and annoying, but nothing I couldn't handle.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic
Editor
...
Why not.
Secret Floor: And it immediately turns out to have been a bad idea. It's one huge room, a giant maze, with 75* White Shirts. About 2 seconds after the level starts, one will be alerted as to your presence, and shooting him will cause the others to rush you. There's a secret room you can duck into right near the start with a lot of ammo in it, so it is theoretically possible to kill all the enemies, except that the game has a sprite limit.
And when you kill an enemy, their body remains on the floor.
So eventually, you'll start being assaulted by INVISIBLE WHITE SHIRTS.
So yeah, fighting is clearly not the option. Luckily the exit doesn't require navigating the maze, it's just down a long hallway. I just ran for it, fighting madly ahead of me. Inside the exit room is an extra life, but I was dropped into the next floor with only like 50 ammo. Ugh. That was a bad idea. This is why I don't like doing Secret Floors.
Floor 4-3: I might talk about this tomorrow, I'm too pissed right now. Ugh, why am I even playing this game anymore.
</spoiler>
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"There's a pony in the shop, but don't buy it. It might do something unfortunate to you." ~from the first Summoner's Seal topic