Editor
Step 2. Make sure the show is either not action or not for adults. Again, both if possible.
Step 3. Stick the show in the worst possible slot for ratings (the "graveyard slot"), where even shows that normally get good ratings will falter.
Step 4. Don't advertise at all. In fact, don't even mention it until it premieres.
Step 5. If you must advertise it, only run ads during the show itself. This will make sure you attract new demographics, as opposed to the ones that are already watching.
Step 6. If the show doesn't immediately top your best rated show, stick the show at a different, preferrably worse, time slot. On a new day. Repeat this step every few weeks to keep your audience on its toes.
Step 7. Even if you have the rights to all the episodes, only air a fourth, or at most, one half of them. Then take a six month break to show Fullmetal Alchemist for the ten-thousandth time.
Step 8. When you bring the show back, don't start with new episodes, and don't run the already seen episodes during the weekdays. Just pretend its a new series and show one episode a week until you're back to where you left off.
Step 9. Whenever possible, pull the show from its slot to show a crappy Inuyasha movie. If you don't have rights to these movies, pull your advertising budget from the show (see Step 5) to buy the rights.
Step 10. Complain about the show not getting enough ratings. If someone points out that it's on at the worst possible time and has no advertising, insult them and make a joke about their mother.
Step 11. Surround the show by even worse shows. Preferrably, put a crappy 15 minute comedy show before it and a crappy shounen anime after it. This way, if people wander into your network, they definitely won't think the new show is as bad as all your other shows.
Step 12. Point out that shows on their millionth repeat are getting higher ratings than the new show. Make sure you don't mention the time slots when doing this. In fact, if you must mention the time slots, don't even include the new show.
Step 13. Once you're 3/4ths of the way through the show, pull it for an undisclosed amount of weeks. Show marathons of other, crappier shows, and show the Inuyasha movies again. In fact, do an Inuyasha movie marathon.
Step 14. Complain more. This makes viewers like you.
Step 15. Whenever you talk about ratings, don't mention that the ratings are only measuring small portion of a selected age group. Don't point out that this age group also isn't the age group the show is targeted towards. The less explained about the ratings, the better.
Step 16. Keep complaining. Threaten to pull the show unless you get better ratings. Oh, but only do this DURING the show. Because this will, once again, attract new audiences.
Step 17. After showing the show all the way through once, drop it completely and never mention it again. Ever. If someone brings it up, pretend you never ran that particular show.
Step 18. If you're going to buy a new show, make sure you don't learn from any of your mistakes. Do the exact same thing. Or better yet, don't buy any new shows, and just put Inuyasha on for 5 hours every night.
Step 19. Insult Inuyasha's fans whenever possible. After all, they're the ONLY demographic that's still watching. They're not going anywhere.
---
"Everything lasts forever." ~Homer Simpson
"It says no Homers. We're allowed to have one."
Liberal Arts Major
---
xp1337: Your former local puppet admin.
"This is the light of my soul, a sacred territory upon which no one may intrude." - Kaworu, NGE.
Editor
---
"Everything lasts forever." ~Homer Simpson
"It says no Homers. We're allowed to have one."
Liberal Arts Major
Like pull/Step 17 Trinity Blood (Which because my DV-R hates me, I'm waiting for a rerun of the series)
Or pull/Step 17 E7, which is just blasphemous.
They didn't exactly Step 17 Evangelion, but it was pretty close to it, and that was another mortal sin.
---
xp1337: Your former local puppet admin.
"This is the light of my soul, a sacred territory upon which no one may intrude." - Kaworu, NGE.
Editor
Which, honestly, isn't TOO bad. It's a very mediocre show. >_>
---
"Everything lasts forever." ~Homer Simpson
"It says no Homers. We're allowed to have one."
Liberal Arts Major
And hey, from the half or so I've seen, I liked TB. =(
Abel is a total badass.
And Ion is cool too, which was funny because I picked my "MBA2" name before knowing about him.
---
xp1337: Your former local puppet admin.
"This is the light of my soul, a sacred territory upon which no one may intrude." - Kaworu, NGE.
Editor
I will say that, yes, Ion is awesome.
And adorable.
<_<
---
"Everything lasts forever." ~Homer Simpson
"It says no Homers. We're allowed to have one."
Message last edited by Kenri of the Yuri on 2/21/2007 at 03:16:21 AM
Advanced
Well, Abel busts out 100% and Esther proves she isn't ENTIRELY worthless >_>
---
"Life is like a box of chocolates, and I will eat every fucking chocolate in that box..." - Loni Love I Love the '90s