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1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
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Liberal Arts Major
I did that when I was like... 8. I scared the shit out of a woman. She nearly fainted.
<->
Common sense these days is about as common as Gold being hidden inside your ass. - Me.
Stupidity is more common than common sense -Me.
Currently Playing: Forza Motorsports, Morrowind (PC).
Recently beaten: Doom 3 (Xbox)
Legend
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The bitch is back.
"Now we are engaged in grade school war chest..." - Vista
Juggernaut, bitch.
~~
Burgess [Z?] http://blog.myspace.com/burgess51
I smell like smoke because I have walked through fire.
DSB Moderator
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"I am Paper. Rock is fine. Nerf Scissors."
Juggernaut, bitch.
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
They keep them locked up, so you can't just randomly grab them.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
None of the alarm clocks are plugged in.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
The bathrooms are up in the front of the store, in front of all the cash registers, so EVERYONE will see you do this.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
This one is just fucking stupid.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
They'll just say no and leave it at that. It's not like they would actually do it and be in on the joke.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
I really don't get this one. Carpet can't be wet? It's impossible to slip on wet carpet? WHAT.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
This makes it sound like there is enough room in the camping department to do anything like this.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
Honestly. Who the fuck has EVER...EVEEEER been approached by a Wal Mart employee that asked if they could help you? And no, I don't count the old people at the doors.
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
Yeah, use something as a mirror...that is completely black and on the goddamn ceiling of a department store.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
They don't sell guns, and they don't sell anti-depressants.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
Overdone and just plain stupid.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
Mind catching up to this decade? You're about two behind.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
Chances are if you're doing any of these things, you're the "funny fat guy" in your group, which means your gigantic fat ass ain't going to be able to hide anywhere in a rack of clothing. Plus you probably don't shower so your stench will give you away.
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
You make it sound like the noises that actually come out of the loud speakers can actually be understood enough to be called voices.
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
Yes, because I only shit in rooms in the middle of the store that are clearly labeled as FITTING ROOMS. HahahahaaNOFUCKNO.
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
This is just lame.
~~
Burgess [Z?] http://blog.myspace.com/burgess51
I smell like smoke because I have walked through fire.
Liberal Arts Major
Wrong. The Walmart has all Alarm Clocks plugged in to show off their display. Usually if you touch one, a Walmart employee will kick you out of that section.
The bathrooms are up in the front of the store, in front of all the cash registers, so EVERYONE will see you do this.
Wrong again. The super stores have SEVERAL bathrooms set up around the store. Usually one on each end of the store.
This makes it sound like there is enough room in the camping department to do anything like this.
Walmart keeps a few test tents up in the camping department.
Honestly. Who the fuck has EVER...EVEEEER been approached by a Wal Mart employee that asked if they could help you? And no, I don't count the old people at the doors.
I have. Many times actually.
The last time this happened I was in a Walmart looking for a candle thing for my Mom's birthday, I was in the section about 3 minutes when an employee walked by the aisle, stopped, came in and asked me if I needed help.
They don't sell guns, and they don't sell anti-depressants.
...I don't know what Walmart's you've been to, but ALL and I mean ALL of the Walmart's I've been to has sold both Guns, and prescription meds.
<->
Common sense these days is about as common as Gold being hidden inside your ass. - Me.
Stupidity is more common than common sense -Me.
Currently Playing: Forza Motorsports, Morrowind (PC).
Recently beaten: Doom 3 (Xbox)
Liberal Arts Major
Wrong again. The super stores have SEVERAL bathrooms set up around the store. Usually one on each end of the store.
The non-super store Walmart we have here (Though it's being converted to a super store, but this was before that) has 2 bathrooms.
One by the return desk, and one in the VERY back, ironically near the bathroom section of the store. XD
<->
Common sense these days is about as common as Gold being hidden inside your ass. - Me.
Stupidity is more common than common sense -Me.
Currently Playing: Forza Motorsports, Morrowind (PC).
Recently beaten: Doom 3 (Xbox)
Liberal Arts Major
Why 24? WHY NOT JUST GET THE WHOLE DISPLAY CASE YEAH WOO
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
You'll be humiliated by the ensuing head-shaking and in a few weeks you'll probably collapse under the weight of your self-hatred and shoot yourself.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
And while you're setting up the tent you can think of something witty to tell the police afterwards.
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
funy
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
See #4.
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
Yes; make sure to bring a girl with you so you can impress her with your Pokemon Master moves.
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Juggernaut, bitch.
PERHAPS YOU MISSED THE PART WHERE I SAID THAT I WAS GOING OFF OF THE WAL MART THAT IS CLOSEST TO ME, WHICH DOES NOT SELL GUNS, DOES NOT HAVE THEIR ALARM CLOCKS PLUGGED IN, AND DOES NOT HAVE A FEW TENTS UP IN THEIR CAMPING MOTHERFUCKING DEPARTMENT.
~~
Burgess [Z?] http://blog.myspace.com/burgess51
I smell like smoke because I have walked through fire.
Legend
DSB Moderator
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"I am Paper. Rock is fine. Nerf Scissors."
Legend
Awesome.
I just don't leave the house because my cats do the shopping for me o.o
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Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Elite
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Waitin' for the hammer to fall.
Advanced
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Editor
Topic over, Burgess wins.
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"Allow ME to interject: TFN does not die immediately because you get banned. Your banning would unleash a disease that would slowly eat TFN from the inside until your reinstatement or the site's eventual, decidedly painful death." ~Ogor, to me
Advanced
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Love me or love to hate me either way you love me.
Become one of my werewolf's http://s3.bitefight.org/c.php?uid=84485
http://www.freewebs.com/goddeathot/index.htm <---- good open tibia server. Thats the home page please try it we need players
Legend
Legend
I disagree, but lack the evidence to support my case, and therefor must remain silent rather than make a fool of myself.
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Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Message last edited by Eel on 10/20/2007 at 03:08:59 AM
Special
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Waitin' for the hammer to fall.