Liberal Arts Major
Naturally I wrote a reply almost immediately, consisting of "sure, why not" and "in fact, I'm not at all opposed to friendship, either!" which, I openly admit, was rather stupid of me. I attach this reply to some sort of Italian cake-like object and go deliver it to her house, where I leave it on her doorstop after some hesitation following the discovery that no one was home. I also call to try to signal that they should call me back or open their front door or something to that effect.
Well, Christmas comes and goes and no word from her, which I thought was odd as the circumstances of this so-called exchange seemed to me at least to warrant some confirmation from her that she got the thing. I decide to go over and check if it's still there. When I arrive at their house, it turns out they were just getting home; and, not seeing the cake thing on their threshold I decide to ring and see if I can try to piece some of this together.
Her dad answers and I predictably make a fool of myself (mostly because I was working off the assumption that he would remember who I am - of course it turns out he didn't), but in the course of doing so I find out that they had in fact been out of town. No wonder nobody was answering, eh?
Anyway, I asked him to tell Andrea I was there and left. A few hours later I found myself with nothing to do that didn't involve spending money or being productive or accomplishing something so I reflected on my letter to her and decided what I said was ridiculous and I needed to rescind most of it. (I rejected her offer of friendship two years ago and here I was accepting it for no reason and she hadn't even offered it!) So I wrote up an excessively lengthy E-mail which pointed out that any sort of friendship between us would end in pitiful failure and that "comfortable" is basically what we are now so we've really accomplished nothing at all. I wasn't too confident about the contents of this E-mail because it delved far more deeply into the fine details than I had initially hoped it would (my logic for not deleting most of it ran along the lines of "well, since it's already there..."), so I gave it the cheerful subject "On second thought, writing this was a bad idea; sending it was worse" and appended a postscript saying as much. Then I sent it. She hasn't replied, although for all I know she doesn't even use the address I sent it to.
My question to you, TFN, is quite elementary: have I done something wrong here? I think I have. Actually when it comes to anything involving Andrea everything I do usually turns out to be a mistake. So point out my failure! I need something to do to justify dodging work anyway.
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~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Legend
___
"The definition of a hero under Rousseaus definition <- or, in less idiotic terms, Rousseaus definition of a hero
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Legend
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Juggernaut, bitch.
Hey, gotta use the education for something since it cost me around 11 grand. Would do it tonight but work sucked and I can't really feel my left shoulder right now.
~~
Burgess [Z?] http://blog.myspace.com/burgess51
I smell like smoke because I have walked through fire.
Editor
...
*hits you with a rolled up newspaper*
No. Bad Ogor.
---
The Credo of Little Mac: Any time not spent doing ZE UPPERCUT is time that could be better spent doing ZE UPPERCUT.
"...Your animal analogies have grown tiresome!" ~Godot, Phoenix Wright 3
Liberal Arts Major
I keep forgetting there's a professional at this nonsense right here on the boards who'd be happy to tell me where I messed up if he can. Convenient!
No. Bad Ogor.
My teachers asked for a resume so I could give them an idea of what to write about for college recommendations. My first draft was over 2,100 words long and it covered about three things.
...Really the amazing thing is when I manage to shorten something. >_>
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Legend
Liberal Arts Major
http://thefluxnet.org/boards/genmessage.php?board=9&topic=3191
In "summary" form, she and I became best of friends very quickly after meeting each other for the first time in seventh grade due to mutual acquaintances and a few convenient social events and of course neither of us had really had any experience with the opposite sex so that friendship developed into some sort of stupid infatuation which we (read: I) mistook for love. The comically inept "relationship" (including a period of moronic emo "rebellion against authority" from yours truly) proceeded to fall apart at the end of the school year just as our group of friends split up and coincidentally during a month of school where I was more absent than present due to an unfortunate run-in with a disease that was apparently some sort of bronchitis or pneumonia whose initial, doctor-recommended treatment actually aggravated. In that unstable state, as immature as I was, I also had to deal with a "breakup" and naturally I handled it poorly. For her part, well, she was just being a bitch.
Over the summer we managed to make up, I think because she was feeling remorse and I was still high as fuck. Unfortunately we made up over the Internet, which was very bad, because we proceeded to spend the next three months without communicating with each other in person and she wasn't exactly the most reasonable person so she somehow developed a complex that triggered a "fight or flight" (by which I mean flight really) reaction whenever I got anywhere near her. My one attempt at communicating with her in person really sums up both of our mental states quite clearly: I "laid siege" to her house for forty-five minutes in an attempt to give her a birthday gift personally, by which I meant I loitered on her doorstep occasionally ringing the doorbell. (Of course she had known I was coming beforehand. >_>) Other notable events over the summer where That Time I Tried to Convert Her from Mormonism, the few brief moments of inspired discussion between the two of us that led to TFN's inception (then just "The Flux"), and the interactions I had with my sympathetic friends concerning her, all of which fell apart immediately as school started. It turns out I was a loser, you see, and my friends had all gone to bigger and better social groups, including apparently Andrea; and because nobody knew that we two had made up, apparently, and because on the first day of school I attempted to speak to her and that ended in an episode of me literally chasing her down a hallway until she ducked into the girl's bathroom, these people were all convinced I was her "stalker" and that I needed to seek help, and of course they all grouped up with me to protect her or some bullshit. Although I must give it to them, I probably did need to seek some help.
Anyway, a few months of this pass until we decide to meet secretly in the night like a pair of retarded bandits. Our first such attempt fails when she stands me up by hiding behind a small hill and watching me pace around in boredom. Our second attempt however succeeds, and we take a very tentative, very animated, and of course very awkward walk through the subdivision in which we live. This pattern of secret walks continues until it becomes a routine, i.e. every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and/or Saturday we would take a walk together at night. Eventually we tagged making out in the cold to the end of these walks. Meanwhile she still ran away from me in school, and everyone still thought I was stalking her. Convenient!
Come spring time she gets bored of me I guess or something and becomes very distant, a mood manifest mostly in ignoring me, which is very easy to do online. I have a second sort of breakdown which eventually leads me to "blab" and relate the secret of our walks to a few friends, including Tiger/Pavel. Pavel then goes on to inform her I did this, and her reaction is to take a necklace I had given her as a gift, smash it to pieces with a hammer with her friend, and leave that along with whatever else I had given her over the year on my driveway one night. Perfectly sane! This was followed by a brief period of "hatred" between us, a lull where we both sort of lost interest, and a brief resurgence of amiability at the very end of the school year.
That summer we tried to mend our relationship somewhat so we could at least be "friends". This was done mostly by me, as I was able to take advantage of the fact that she took the kids she was babysitting to the playground that's right next to my house to meet her every week or so and talk for brief but I guess useful periods of time. This lasted for about a month and a half until she had a nervous breakdown when her best childhood friend moved away without even bothering to tell her goodbye; her reaction was seemingly to develop a more heavily accentuated superiority complex in an attempt to mask an otherwise obvious depression. She stopped interacting with me at all at this point and I, very much unimpressed by this turn of events, decided I had "had it" and ceased communicating with her.
That's where Pavel and the above-mentioned topic come into play. He pretends to be me online for about a month, and she is totally oblivious of course; come school time she believes we still have a fledgling friendship which she can easily control. Of course we didn't, and Pavel revealed that almost immediately, which caused her to break down yet again and, after a short E-mail correspondence, weakly ask me to give her one last chance. I agreed, noting that it was the first affair between us started almost exclusively by her and so I would for once let her do whatever she wanted without complaining; I also pointed out that she would probably be the one to end it (and it turned out I was right).
At this point I was somewhat bored with her, and I never really got over that boredom. Whatever opinions of her I gained later simply grew around it. We resumed the year on a nonchalant note after that episode: her friends had all grown to find my "hopeless attraction" to Andrea cute, or some godawful nonsense, and my growing reputation as "that smart guy" managed to alleviate some of the, let's say, class-based bias they held against me. We resumed our secret meetings, except I didn't really bother to keep them a secret from anybody, and this time I was basically just going to her house to make out with her every week. We still hadn't really done anything together in public, but for once I didn't take it as a personal affront, and both of us recognized that would have to end if we intended to pursue the relationship in high school.
That was a pleasant, somewhat uneventful school year, the first time it actually felt like we were a couple and not just a pair of melodramatic dumbasses. We danced together at the last school dance of the year; we met each other a few times at the public library or just as friends to discuss her Spanish. It was, for me at least, all coming together.
Unfortunately during this time she also met a very charismatic seminary instructor and had without telling me adopted the desire to purify herself sexually or whatever, which put a damper on our meetings over the summer, as basically the only reason we did that was for the sex (although mind you we never went past making out). In the last month of summer both of us left town for an extended period - I left for Europe, she left for Mormon camp. The last meeting we ever had was a veritable disaster which of course involved inviting Pavel over to function as chaperon. When I got back from Europe she was of course the first person I called, and during that call she decided it would be cool to dump me. But hey, we could still be friends!
I decided we couldn't actually and after a period of some bitterness asked her never to speak to or contact me again, a rule of silence I would go on to break several times but which she did not. And, prior to this Christmas eve, that was the state of our relationship. During my sophomore year I attempted twice to get a new paramour: the first time was entirely a "rebound" and I thank the heavens she rebuffed me because that would have been horrible, and the second time the girl moved away after our first "date". (Also she was already taken.) I then went on to not attend school my junior year, and now I've managed to adopt Andrea's eighth grade "run away" habit, such that whenever I'm around her I get the overpowering urge to leave.
That should be all the pertinent information for this matter, I think. >_>
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Juggernaut, bitch.
~~
Burgess [Z?] http://blog.myspace.com/burgess51
I smell like smoke because I have walked through fire.
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Legend
---
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Legend
The way I see it, it's her fault. If I were you, I'd try to treat her as a regular person, like a kinda stranger who you kinda know, but don't act like you're mad at her or she'll start bothering you. But don't go out of your way to see her.
That's all the advice I can give really, and I know it's not particularly good advice.
---
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Liberal Arts Major
I'd like to do that, but I don't think I can really make that distinction.
or she'll start bothering you.
She doesn't seem like the type. She hasn't made any contact with me since the cookies episode anyway.
But don't go out of your way to see her.
This is good advice, as I'm pathetic that way. >_>
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Legend
But don't worry, I think everything will work out. I think that you're right that everything's best how it is too.
---
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Advanced
---
Love me or love to hate me either way you love me.
Become one of my werewolf's http://s3.bitefight.org/c.php?uid=84485
http://www.freewebs.com/goddeathot/index.htm <---- good open tibia server. Thats the home page please try it we need players
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Advanced
---
Love me or love to hate me either way you love me.
Become one of my werewolf's http://s3.bitefight.org/c.php?uid=84485
http://www.freewebs.com/goddeathot/index.htm <---- good open tibia server. Thats the home page please try it we need players
Legend
He has a talent though. I wish I could write like that. My essays go past the hundreds and into the ten thousands only when I'm currecting someone on a Digimon board >_>
Lol currecting.
---
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Advanced
---
Love me or love to hate me either way you love me.
Become one of my werewolf's http://s3.bitefight.org/c.php?uid=84485
http://www.freewebs.com/goddeathot/index.htm <---- good open tibia server. Thats the home page please try it we need players
Liberal Arts Major
A+.
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Liberal Arts Major
SHE IS FUCKING INSANE.That would suck.
I was going to meet her at a subway station after another of her usual childish fits, and something inside me was just like "You need to do this now. You can't keep pretending any longer. I know you like being with her, but for both of you you gotta end it." So I did. I explained to her very clearly what was going on. I wasn't happy, it was far too serious and too fast, at this point in my life I don't want or need a relationship like this, and I couldn't pretend that I did just for her sake.
And. . .she. . .said no.
I didn't know you could do that.
SHE FUCKING FOLLOWED ME AROUND, PHYSICALLY WOULDN'T LET ME LEAVE! I went to my fucking friends house after calling a taxi and THROWING HER OFF ME, and she fucking followed me. They finally convinced her to go home but NOW SHES FUCKING BACK AT MY HOUSE
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO! I tried to just give her her things and make her go home, but she won't fucking budge. So I put them outside and put HER outside, she just begs me to love her again, to take her back. Theres NOTHING that can be done. I dont want a relationship, I don't want HER. I don't want anyone right now. I feel like a fucking DOUCHE because its cold outside and NOW SHES FUCKING SAYING SHE'S GOING TO WAIT OUT THERE FOR ME!
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO!? ITS LIKE TRYING TO BREAK UP WITH A FUCKING PSYCHOTIC 7 YEAR OLD! WHAT THE FUCK!
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Advanced
---
Love me or love to hate me either way you love me.
Become one of my werewolf's http://s3.bitefight.org/c.php?uid=84485
http://www.freewebs.com/goddeathot/index.htm <---- good open tibia server. Thats the home page please try it we need players
Legend
---
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Legend
___
"The definition of a hero under Rousseaus definition <- or, in less idiotic terms, Rousseaus definition of a hero
Legend
Correction, you leave for 2 years. Think about that.
---
Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands! - Auron (FFX)
Liberal Arts Major
is it your mama
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu