Liberal Arts Major
(Note: My editorial comments on the transcript will be in bold and enclosed in curly braces [{}] because they're whimsical. The braces, not the comments.)
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Him
I am actually {the girl}'s "boytoy" and larry is my father, who are you? Oh and I would write this for everyone to see just cause i thought the word "boytoy" was hilarious {probably a bad sign right here}, but I'm not your friend.
Me
I'm {the girl}'s scorned ex-lover. {I am not.}
Him
Yeah sure you are buddy, dream on {I don't think anyone actively dreams of dating this girl.}
Me
More of a nightmare really.
Him
Oh yeah, whose nightmare?
Me
Soon to be yours I imagine!
Him
Hahaha please bro what are you going to do? I guarantee if we were standing right in front of each other you wouldn't say a word. You probably would sit there with your hands in your pockets and look down at the floor. {This is probably true, I mean, the floor is so much more visually rewarding than his face.}
Me
I was implying {the girl} would be causing the nightmare, although now that you say that I'm reminded of a passage from a biography of Kierkegaard, namely to the effect that Kierkegaard was weak and frail and yet substantially more intelligent than any of his peers and would compensate for his lack of strength by playing word games etc. in primary and secondary school, usually leading to his being beaten up. He also fell down some stairs, that guy was kind of pathetic. {True story.}
Him
Thanks for the bedtime story, all of a sudden I feel complete
Me
I don't know what {the girl} sees in you. Your enormous biceps?
Him
Exactly, that's why she isn't with you. See you will soon figure out from your studies to balance things out. Instead of reading all the time you can work out for a couple hours, go to class {I don't do this very often}, study for a couple hours {I never do this}, spend some time on here, and get some sleep {I do this a lot}. I think you need the sleep cause you sound a little stressed talking to me. By the way you don't have to start talking trash now, I was just trying to have a friendly conversation here and you had to turn that around. All I wanted to say is that the "boy toy" think was hilarious
Me
My studies are in women's studies, all I learn is that chauvinists such as yourself are privileging flows of testosterone over the intellect, the net result being the erection of a patriarchal social structure reflected e.g. in our social relationship with respect to capital etc. Your recommendation that I work out and sleep and so on merely perpetuates centuries of the oppression of women. Think about it, man. {The girl used to be/still might be a raging feminist.}
Also {the girl} and I broke up because I was too sensitive to her needs.
Him
Ha please you make yourself sound ridiculous. My dad is even making fun of you right now. This is better comedy than what is on TV. {He certainly has a way with words. I'm reminded of a young Jack the Ripper.} Oh by the way YOU AND {the girl} NEVER DATED! You are making shit up. I will ask her tomorrow about it.
Me
Pfft, we dated for three months before I wrote her that sonnet and she decided to seek her own oppression. The two events were obviously unrelated.
Him
And when did this 3 month relationship take place? Don't you have some book to read or homework to finish? Yes the two events were related {you'll notice this makes no sense in context}, we are laughing at you because you think your some genius when really I could talk just like you with a dictionary in my hand. {I think he's trying to assure me he can read here.} Your not that smart man, you just try to be because you have nothing else to impress anybody with. Take that philosophical shit and smoke it biiiiatch!
Me
It took place right after {one of the girl's exes} dumped her or whatever, I don't really remember because I was too busy paying attention to her feelings.
Yes, wow, you sir are good, attempt to demean me by making reference to my academic perseverance. That's analogous to my asking you if you have some weights to lift or Rocky sequels to watch. You're proud of your inauthentic narcissism so it's not exactly hurtful. Moreover, my academia will eventually spillover into a lucrative professorship whereas your weightlifting will spillover into syphilis. I think I win this round.
The events I was speaking of were the sonnet and the breakup; were you less myopic perhaps you may have pieced that one together. (Alternatively perhaps not.)
You've shown me no evidence I'm not smart. The fact that I'm eloquent and use uncommon words fluidly and effortlessly is more a strike in the opposite direction.
Must be the biceps.
Him
BULLSHIT! I asked her today and you never dated her you fucking liar. {You must admire his dedication.}
Oh and by the way dip shit, I have a full ride to Seattle Pacific University for Army ROTC. You think you are going to have some great profession? You currently attend BSU, great college pick! Maybe you should have used some of your "wisdom" and picked a better college, now that would be smart! Good luck buddy! Besides what are you going to be? Can't beat my profession, I am already an EMT {mean annual income: $30,870}, already a private pilot {mean annual income: $71,270}, play varsity lacrosse, i have the biceps and the brains.
Just a reminder, YOU ARENT DEBATING RIGHT DUMB SHIT!
Also, I always win
Me
Sure we dated, she just doesn't want to make you jealous. Rule number one: never believe a woman, they're all liars. {Note that I'm supposedly majoring in women's studies.}
Second, SPU? The Army? Yes, by all means, flaunt your ethical depravity/willingness to ingest copious amounts of pork to advance your personal comfort alongside the oppressive progress of American imperial hegemony. As for your thoroughly convincing list:
- EMT? Yes that's quite the "career", requires motor skills and everything!
- Private pilot? That's great, it's not like anybody could be a pilot with the proper desire, start-up capital, and so on.
- Varsity lacrosse? Seriously, you list this as an accomplishment?
- Biceps, sure.
- Brains, not so much.
I'm not sure what that was supposed to demonstrate. Wow, you know how to do some shit. Wow, you got a full ride to a shitty no-tier university just like BSU. I bet you're also a straight-A student with a 4.2 weighed high school GPA! Why haven't you been declared a Rhodes Scholar yet OMG?!? {Terrible, I know.}
I already told you what I'm going to be. I'm at BSU because they paid me a hefty sum to come here, I've already been accepted to Duke and will be going there to major in women's studies, african american studies, sociology, and English or communications, after which I will get a professorship {mean annual income: $71,950} and pull $150,000 a year teaching a single class/fighting away oppressors such as yourself/winning the Nobel Prize in Sociology. {There isn't one.}
This isn't a debate, quit being retarded. o wate {Terrible, I know.}
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I can't say she doesn't deserve him.
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Message last edited by Ogordemir99 on 2/6/2009 at 01:16:03 AM
Liberal Arts Major
And I would read again. 10/10.
+++
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
Liberal Arts Major
Nice!
<->
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Legend
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Advanced
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Mega Sonic
Endut! Hoch Hech!
Liberal Arts Major
He replied with this:
"You are such a liar it is hilarious!
You are a waste of human life
Fact is, you are a bored person who has nothing better to do then talk shit. I hope someday I run into you on the street, for you it will not be a pleasant day haha"
Took him a while!
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Liberal Arts Major
But it's sad that I bet he'd be dumb enough to actually attempt to back up his toughness. About the only way this could have ended better is if he broke up with that girl because of what "random internet man with big words" said about dating her and why she'd not admit it. >_>
+++
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
Liberal Arts Major
On second thought maybe he is gullible.
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Liberal Arts Major
+++
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
Liberal Arts Major
Also, MS: Literally the only thing I told him about myself that's true is that I want to be a professor, everything else was pure fiction (including any implication as to what I intend to teach/get paid). So I wasn't actually defending myself or anything, I was just demeaning him, which makes it difficult to see how I could have won anything in the argumentative sense.
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Liberal Arts Major
+++
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Liberal Arts Major
+++
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Liberal Arts Major
Hooray!
+++
"I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it." - George Carlin
Advanced
---
This space for rent!!!!!!!!
Liberal Arts Major
___
~ Ogordemir ~
"The sciences have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the light into the peace and safety of a new dark age." ~ H.P Lovecraft, The Call of Cthulhu
Advanced
---
This space for rent!!!!!!!!