Let's Read Reviews! RainbowstarRS' Super Mario Galaxy review (S1R10)
You might have noticed, if you've been paying attention, that I've done a lot of Let's Reads of reviews of Nintendo games, yet I haven't done one of a Mario game review yet. Why's that? Because I was saving it for something very special. ...Then I decided to do a Let's Read of GameFAQs user RainbowstarRS' Super Mario Galaxy review instead. Enjoy.
Title: The Coolest Game ever!!!!!!
There's actually a system here. It's six exclamation points for the coolest game ever, five for a great game, four for a good game, three for an okay game, two for a bad game, one for a terrible game, and zero for the worst game ever.
It's sort of like Morse code for idiots.
This is the first review I've ever written on Gamefaqs, so please be considerate.
Ahahahahahahahahaha.
Oh wait, you were serious. Let me laugh even harder...
I've played many Mario games before.
Fair enough, but saying you've played a lot of Mario games while on GameFAQs strikes me as sort of like going into Hot Topic and saying, "I'm a tool."
Mario and Sonic at the olympic games? Not that great of a game.
...Okay, you're gaining credibility already.
Wait, do people gain credibility for playing Mario & Sonic, or lose it? To return to my stupid analogy, it's like going into Hot Topic and saying, "I'm more of a tool than everyone else here combined." On one hand, it's sort of impressive, but on the other...
Mario Party Ds? Meh. Boring.
Note that, since this is Mario Party, there's a chance these opinions are actually Nega Opinions, which would mean they're the exact opposite of RainbowstarRS' actual feelings about the game.
Super Mario Galaxy?! The Best Mario game ever created!!!
Whoa whoa whoa. Listen. You just butchered the code. I think you need to practice a bit more before we can trust you in a real, life-or-death review situation.
I got this game last year, and I'm STILL not bored of it yet!!!!
And I continue to be entertained by shiny things and bits of string, so that either means they're excellent video games or that I'm just a cat.
Here's what I think of Super Mario Galaxy:
It's a good thing he told us this, or I'd have assumed his review was expressing someone else's opinion!
Story: Mario gets an invitation from Princess Peach to the Star festival. Mario rushes over there, sees everyone happy, and then......OOOH NOOO!
My first thought here - after "sectioned review" - was: Oh dear, it seems RainbowstarRS was gobbled up by a monster while writing this review.
Bowser shows up and takes Princess Peach,like he did many times before.
Just go ahead and insert your own "over nine-thousand" joke here.
(Why is Bowser so interested in this girl, anyway?)
...Just go ahead and insert your own rape joke here.
It's almost like I don't have to write anything anymore, I can just rely on my readers to do all the work. It's a win-win. Well, for me, anyway.
Mario tries to save her, but he gets blasted into the sky, and lands on a planet with cute fluffy bunnies!!
LOL SO RANDUM XD
Mario then meets Rosalina, another princess that guards the cosmos.
You are now picturing Mario as Sailor Moon.
And breathing manually.
Not only is Peach gone, Rosalina's starship lost it's power! Mario must help Peach and Rosalina!
Fuck yeah, Mario. The world's best plumber bodyguard rescuer construction worker tennis player golfer soccer player baseball player basketball player referee skier dancer doctor racer party host musician artist janitor toy maker paper-airplane Olympic gold medalist starship repairman ever.
(Mario is soo busy, isn't he?)
...Why the hell do you keep doing this? Did I turn on Prinny Commentary by accident or something?
In order to save Peach and help Rosalina, Mario must travel to insanely cool galaxies! to get the stars and battle Bowser along th way.
The galaxies may be insanely cool, but exclamation points in the middle of sentences! do not rock.
With ao many thins to do, this story gets a 10/10!
Protip: Story =/= how much stuff there is to do.
*Spoilers in some of the sections*
You're writing this for people who haven't played the game yet! Why would you include spoilers?!
Sound: The sound is amazing! I have never heard anything better!
Beethoven weeps.
The sounds suit the galaxies. For example, Deep Dark has music that sends a tingle down your spine! Toy time galaxy has such cute little music!
l i t t l e m u s i c
The music gets me very excited beacause the soundtracks are sooo good!
Rule 34 on Super Mario Galaxy's soundtrack.
Get crackin', internet.
Graphics: Oh my Gosh, the graphics in Super Mario galaxy are so good that any other games graphics are not nearly as good!
This review is nearly as bad as a... as a... as a thing that is slightly worse than this review! Your sentences read like they were written by some sort of... bad sentence... writing... guy!
In fact, soo good that it seems real!
Headline: Gamer throws Wiimote at $2,000 HDTV; says he was trying to free the tiny Mario trapped within.
The water looks real, The flames in Melty Molten Galaxy look very cool!
The ice looks hot! The smoke looks solid! The man-made objects look very lifelike!
The galaxies have a very sharp look.
For your safety, do not run while carrying a galaxy.
When you use a launch star, seeing Mario blasting in spae is pretty cool!
Spae.
The real final frontier.
Characters: At first, you can only play as Mario, but when you collect all 120 power stars, you unlock someone very special!!!! I'm not telling!
Oh my God oh my God oh my God who could it be?! Tell me tell me tell me I can't go on with my life until you tell me.
Or I could just hit the "Cheats" tab and look up who it is.
Rent or buy: Definetely buy it! No renting needed!\
Finally. Review's over, everybody go home, I-
What the fuck?
Controls: The controls are simple. A to jump, Shake the wii remote to attack, B button to shoot a star bit, and so on. The only thing bad is that shaking the wii remote constantly to attack can hurt your hand, but its not a very huge problem. 9/10
You.
You just forgot this section and tacked it on at the end, didn't you?!
Reviewer's Score: 10/10
You probably could have figured this out on your own, but yeah, for completion purposes, he did indeed give it a 10/10.
Overall, I give this review a 10/10 for being the Coolest Review ever!!!!!!
RainbowstarRS' unaltered review can be found on GameFAQs:
http://www.gamefaqs.com/console/wii/review/R131236.html
Kenri of the Yuri is just this guy who writes silly things, sometimes. He is profoundly embarrassed about a good 60-70% of the stuff he's written. You might know him better as your friendly neighborhood Level 43: Editor. View his or her author page or author profile.
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