King of the Mountain: Supervillain (Return to Smegger)
One of these things is not like the other, which one of these things doesn't belong?
If you guessed the one in the middle, good job. Do you know why?
It's not the obvious reasons like I'm real and Megatron and Dr. Doom are imaginary. Oh no, my friends. The reason is that while those are two of the most evil being ever to be conceived...
...I'm apparently worse. I guess that it doesn't help matters when I refer to the new guys that work with me as minions.
Seems odd that I would be doing one of these since I haven't been in the store since Monday and haven't been within 100 miles of it since Wednesday, but I feel bored again and some things are too good to not write about.
So this past week and the week before at work was the time of holiday buying. While it seemed that for a point there was nothing that was being brought up to me but gift card after gift card (which by the way, I get them for people, but am I alone in thinking that it's just the same as giving someone restricted money?) but apparently we also sold some actual merchandise.
Christmas rolled around and the store was closed that blissful day.
The day after rolled around, and I wasn't there, so I didn't care if the palce burnt to the ground.
Day after the day after though, I got to be front and center.
It amazes me how stores ever actually make money around the holidays. It seemed like there were more people returning things than what we actually sold. A vast majority of it was apparel. Helpful hint here: If you're buying clothes for someone, make frigging sure that it's going to fit. If you're returning it and it fits but you don't like the color, then just wear the damn thing and get over it. Keep in mind that this is coming from someone who has about 5 shirts that are the same color of gray.
...anyway, the evilnesslyosity. The only way that you get cash from the store when you return something is if you have the actual sales receipt and it says on it that the item was bought with either cash or check. If it says credit card, then we either can put it back on the card that it was bought with (and YES you have to have the actual card for us to do that), a different card, or you get store credit. If you have a gift receipt, then you get store credit. That's it. If you have no receipt, then you get store credit. That's it.
Forever and ever.
Shift without end.
Is this a difficult concept to wrap your head around? Is this something that it would take a team of scientists, logicians, and one scruffy face clown named Tim to figure out? I would have to say that it's not that hard to understand. However, it would seem that the little scrap of faith that I have in people is put to the test and almost broken because of this.
-"I don't have the receipt for it, but I have the card that it was put on."
--"I can still only give you store credit."
-"...can't you just look it up in the system or something?"
I love when people refer to "the system" like it's something out of The Matrix. Oh sure, I can just reach inside it and pull out whatever information I feel like. From The System I can also find out when the last time you ate Chinese and if your carpets match the drapes.
--"...the only way that I can tell when this was bought is by looking at the transaction number on the receipt, which you don't have. So once again, I can only get you store credit."
-"Other stores can do it!"
THEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GO THERE YOU ASSTARD.
--"...well we can't do that."
The only thing better is when someone tries to return something to the store that we do not sell, and it's something that we have never sold. Oh, but they're so sure they got it here. Nonetheless, I'm pretty certain they didn't buy it from me. Oh, but they have a gift receipt! That would mean something to me if the UPC numbers actually matched, but they don't so like many times when I'm forced to stand behind that counter, I couldn't give a crap.
Just once I would like to institute a No Return Day. You bought it or had it bought for you, so you keep it. You seemed to want it before, so that means that you want it now. I just want to look every person in the face that returns an unwanted gift and go "this person thought enough of you to put some time and thought and hard earned money into buying you a gift when realistically they didn't have to, and you want to throw it all away and get something else? Fine, I'll return it, but I just want you to know that you make me sick and I hope you are able to live with yourself every time that you see the new item that you needed so badly you cashed back on some decent person's emotions!"
...oh holy shit that would be harsh.
Meh, I'd probably still do it given the proper motivation and timing.
The thing is, I could go ahead and to the return like they want it done. That would be no real problem with me. I'm just following procedure. The thing is, until I hear the words "could I speak with a manager" I am the one in charge.
I'm the Cobra Commander of customer service.
Once the manager comes into play, they'll waffle and say to just do the return and put it back on the card or give them the cash. There have been times where I've been tempted to just go ahead and do it, because I know that's what I would get told to do.
However, doing something because I know that would be the end results and doing it because it IS the end result are two differing things. If I don't get the go ahead and do it, then I get my ass ripped open for not doing things how they're supposed to be done. Of course, if I do finally do it when they say to go ahead after I've been standing there saying I can't for about ten minutes, I end up looking like a dumbshit.
Decisions, decisions.
I'm never against looking stupid when I deserve to look stupid. Hell, I'll look stupid to make someone else feel better, showing that while they may have screwed up, it can be much worse. It's when I end up looking like an idiot and I was in the right from the beginning, that's what pisses me off.
All people need a bad guy. Someone that they can blame something on and be pissed towards. Some kind of antagonist in their life that they can look to and shake their fist at.
The screwed up thing is that I can play the role to perfection.
I hate conflict. I really do. The sad part is that I was almost built especially for it. Whether it be defusing a situation or escalating it, I'm very adept at doing both.
The only problem is that most of the time I can't control it.
Ah well. If there must be slings and arrows thrown at someone who does not deserve it, then it's most likely for the best that it is done against me. I've taken it this long, and Lord knows I'm someone who sticks with a gimmick to the bitter end, so this one should not be any different.
...just instead of a cape and fiendish laugh, I have a beat up tan and orange vest.
The author has not submitted a profile. View his or her author page or author profile.
Article not rated.