"I Can Handle The Truth"
Close your eyes and come with me
to a new place where we are unstoppable
Inhale and let the smoke fill your lungs,
and breathe the impossible
"Taxicab Confession" by 40 Below Summer
So I was sitting around trying to figure out something to type on. I was coming up with absolutely nothing. I started getting pissed off at my own stupidity, so I reached into my pocket, pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one up. I must have forgotten that I was sitting somewhere that didn't allow smoking; either that or I just didn't care. The reaction from the people around me was enough to make you think that I pulled out a gun and shot a baby in the face.
"Do you mind?" said someone next to me with a look of repulsion on their face.
"No, I dont," I said as I took another drag off of the cigarette.
"Uh, hello," the person said. "You're not allowed to smoke here, so you'll have to put that out now."
"What the ****. We're outside, and I cant even smoke out here?"
"No, you can't. And please dont curse, its rude."
"Well, I'll be a mother****er," I said, and stood up, and walked away while still smoking. "And I can ****ing curse as much as I ****ing want, because I'm ****ing Burgess, *****. BONG~!"
It was with that conversation that I found my inspiration for this.
Um...hello. My name is ******* Burgess, and I smoke. (Hi *******.) I've been smoking for about five or six months now. I do it even in the face of knowing that it is bad for me. I do it in the face of knowing that for every cigarette that I smoke, I lose about seven minutes off of my life. At this point, I would say I'm down a couple of weeks, but that's a rather high estimate at best. Doesn't matter to me anyway, as I don't expect to live long enough to where it would matter. Plus, chances are the time that I'm going to miss out on would just be time when I'm sitting in a retirement home, wearing a soiled diaper, having a glazed look on my face and a trail of drool leading down it.
Forced Free Will
For the most part, people are supposed to be able to do what they feel like doing. Of course, I say supposed to because the rights of people are being infringed upon all the time, and more so lately. The will of the majority is what gets enforced, and the minority gets ****ed. Hell, sometimes the minority does win because they're louder. However, sometimes the side making most of the clamor can be wrong, but their changes get enforced because everyone else wants them to just shut up.
You can do what you want, but only as long as we say you can. That is the mindset of all these anti-smoking people. Look at California for example. You can smoke, but only in your basement, in a closet, with the lights off, and a blanket over your head, and a pine tree air freshener hanging around your neck. You can't even smoke in bars there. If you work somewhere, you're segregated from everyone and have to smoke only in one certain place that can be classified as an external chute from one of the pits of Hell. Thankfully, I live somewhere that these things haven't happened yet, but most likely one day will happen. I can smoke freely at work any time I want. ****, if I wasn't doing the job that Im doing now, I probably wouldn't have started smoking. Or at the very least, I wouldn't have started now. I probably could have put it off for a while longer yet. In the end though, it would have caught up with me.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't
Everyone in my immediate family smokes. Ive been around it my entire life. My grandfather died of lung cancer about…some odd years ago (like you need to ****ing know). He used to smoke non-filter cigarettes. Were the cigarettes to blame? Probably for a good deal of it. However, he was also a farmer, and had been for years long before I was born, and most of the tractors he had didn't have cabs. So he would be out there inhaling everything: dirt, exhaust, small pebbles, churches; you name it, it got sucked into his lungs. Yeah, I know it was the smokes that probably did the most damage, but it wasn't the only thing. I can't say for certain that with just the cigarettes that he would have gone out like that.
Like I said, I've been sucking ash (I said ash) my entire life. Sure, my parents tried to quit, but to no avail. That just happens sometimes. I've heard it's harder to quit than heroin. I have my doubts about that, but whatever. It does kind of make sense though. You dont get tempted to buy heroin every time you walk into a gas station or anywhere else by the big heroin displays. There's not Heroin Man, just the Marlboro Man. There's no Joe Heroin, just Joe Camel. Although, I guess even he's not around anymore. Hell, they say that second-hand smoke is even worse for you than smoking an actual cigarette, so in a way, I had to start smoking in order to save my own life.
...
Yeah, thats it.
Cancer cures smoking?
I get into a lot of stupid arguments. Sometimes I think that my life in general is just one big, never ending stupid argument. I'm at work one day, and someone says that there's one sure thing that will cure smoking, and that's cancer. Hell, I've even see people say this over the net. Dare I say that the answer to that statement is…uh, no. If you think that is true and you're reading this, then chances are you missed the short bus a lot because you were fiddling with the chinstrap of your helmet.
The first thing that is wrong with that statement is that it doesn't qualify anything. Does getting skin cancer make you want to stop smoking? The sun causes cancer, and yet I dont see any commercials on TV about how the sun is evil and must be stopped. What about pancreatic cancer? There's always colon cancer, but the only way that would get you to stop smoking is if youre shoving the cigarettes up your ass. By the way, if you're doing that, get help now, or get a webcam and make some money on it because there are probably people out there willing to pay to see something like that. Then there's tumors, but those wouldn't stop anyone either.
Yes, I know what they mean, but where's the fun in saying what they mean if they don't say it themselves? Of course anyone who says that is talking about lung cancer. However, even when they're talking about that, the answer is still that it doesn't. Ever see someone smoke a cigarette using a trach ring? For those not in the know, that is when they smoke using a hole in their neck. Let me tell you something, its like midget porn; you know its ****ing wrong, but you still sit and stare anyway.
Yes, Ive seen both. Dont judge me.
Water is wet?!
I watch these commercials done by Truth and other anti-smoking groups, and I just sit there and laugh my ass off at them. To me, theyre just ****ing hysterical. I wish that Comedy Central would show them all ****ing day, because I would sit and watch and laugh until I couldn't breathe. They think that they are showing people the light, letting them know that nothing good can come from cigarettes.
Um…duh?
I don't know, maybe I'm the only one that thinks they're telling people something that they should already know. Okay, here's how I see it…YOU'RE ****ING INHALING SMOKE~! Just seems a little conceited for them to think that everyone is that ****ing idiotic. I mean, don't get me wrong, I know there are a lot of people out there that are idiots, but c'mon, you have to give people a bit more credit than that. They shouldn't call themselves The Truth, they should call themselves "No ****." "Smoking is bad for you." No ****~! Who in the Hell would think that could possibly be good for you? Who would think that it would do nothing to you? Goddamn…if there are people out there that dont think that, then they need to be sterilized so they don't breed and make children as stupid as them. Actually, cigarettes are supposed to cause sterility, so just tell them to start smoking if it doesn't do any harm. Of course, chances are that people who think that are the same people who sue fast food restaurants because theyre fat, which is also something else that is completely ****ing stupid.
Another thing I wonder about; how come there aren't commercials that are saying similar things about alcohol? It's a drug. People die from alcohol poisoning by consuming too much at once. Over time people die from liver failure from consuming alcohol because it is considered a poison by your body. People get drunk and kill others while driving. Where's the outrage? Where are the teens worried about that? When was the last time you saw someone arrested for driving under the influence of nicotine? Makes you wonder about the priorities of some people.
All about the Benjamins
But…but Mr. Burgess, isn't smoking expensive? Well, yeah, I guess it is. Actually, that was another of the many reasons that I never started smoking before. On the other hand, there are things that are just as expensive. I'll just the example of trading cards because I know of a few people here that play trading card games. On average, the price for them generally goes around three and a half to four dollars a pack of cards. Not many buy them one pack at a time, or only once a week. People will by entire boxes of them for a hell of a lot. Well, the average for a pack of trading cards is more than what I pay for a pack of cigarettes, and I only buy one box at a time. I don't go through more than…three or four packs unless I'm incredibly stressed out. Chances are that I'm spending less on that than what some people spend on cards. I spend less on them than what some people spend on magazines and other things as well. I guess people who don't smoke would see it as an unneeded expense, but there are things like that for everyone.
Bottom Line
If you don't smoke, don't start. If you do smoke, try to quit. It's something that is just stupid to do, like kitten juggling. However, if even in the face of everything you still choose to smoke like I do, then reach down low, light one up, and throw your middle finger in the face of everyone that has a problem with it.
Screw The Truth. I'll keep living the lie.
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