Customer Disservice
As some of you may know, I recently switched from three-toed-sloth-speed dial-up internet service to high-speed cable internet service. So, the other day, I decided it was time to end my long relationship with America Online. Now, I've called enough so-called "customer SERVICE" numbers to know not to expect to talk to a real person. I thought I would be making use of my touch-tone buttons yet again, but to my surprise, I find myself talking to a nearly-interactive robo-bitch. Apparently, this computerized entity responds to certain words, such as "yes" or "no," for example. I must say that I was quite tempted to test whether "she" responded to profanity. After completing the AOL robo-bitch experience, I was redirected to an actual person! I almost began to think that the hard part was over.
WRONG!
The man that I was redirected to had a very thick accent, so I could hardly understand a damn word he was saying. After a few minutes attempting to communicate with Rajib or whatever the hell his name was, I could not hold back my curiosity any longer. "Where are you located?" I asked. He responded with a single word: "India." I covered up the phone receiver and laughed for a few seconds before realizing that Mr. India would probably hang up on me if I didn't respond. So, I continued to speak with him. When he asked for my name, I responded "Mike Lasater." He paused for a few seconds, then said, "There is no Mike Lasater on the computer screen that is in front of me." I took a couple seconds to think, then asked him if any other names were showing up. He said, "Michael." I then explained to him that in America, "Mike" is short for "Michael." I went on to tell him that I wanted to cancel my AOL account. But does he cancel it? Hell no. Instead, he tries to sell me AOL for Broadband, which, if I remember correctly, would cost me the price of AOL's extremely high membership fee (over $20 per month) and about a dollar more as a spit in the face. And that's in addition to the $30 a month that I'm paying for my cable internet bill. I respectfully decline his offer, but of course, he continues to try to sell it to me. Somehow, I finally get through to him. He tells me that I continue to use AOL for free until the end of the billing cycle. What a kind, kind gift of AOL to give to me as thanks for the years and years worth of bills that I've paid so that the fucktards at the top of the AOL corporate ladder can stuff their ugly faces with caviar. I hope they fall off the corporate ladder and break their necks. Douchebags.
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